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notlongnow
Member



Joined: 2011/12/29
Posts: 31


 Re:

Hi MaryJane,

I think what I was trying to say is, that it is beside the point how they became single mothers in terms of ministering to a single parent family who is poor and needy. I don't see any qualifiers in God's word when it comes to taking care of the poor, needy and fatherless, of which the single parent family often falls into.

Of course if you are talking in terms of the gospel, and the christian life....if someone is continuing in sin and claims to be a christian there are scriptures that speak of what to do is that case....that applies to all believers single mother or not.

There are distinctions in how you deal with a believer and a non believer, that goes without saying. I didn't believe this thread was about that but rather about how to help and love a single mother family. It comes back to real relationship, not just applying a set of rules to someone. One you know where someone is at you can minister to them appropriately in terms of the gospel, and in terms of emotional and practical support.

The children are completely innocent in all this, and need the extra help believers should be offering to support these families. The women too often come from disadvantaged or dyfunctional backgrounds and so have made bad decisions out of desperation or simply have been taken advantage of by wolves. Who here hasn't made wrong choices in their life, including fornication before they were saved. Did a pregnancy result from it? No? Then lucky for you, you can hide your past forgiven sin and go on. No one should judge single parents. MaryJane you are very blessed the father of your child married you. Most single parents have to struggle on in single parenthood and would of loved to be a married woman.

With all due respect I am yet to see the state of single motherhood be raised to the status of sainthood. Rather I believe a lot of believers will be held accountable for their failure to love and provide for single mothers and their children, and the way they are treated like they have committed the unforgivable sin. It has been more my experience that single mothers are one of the favoured scapegoats of society and of Pharisees. (Not directing this comment at you MaryJane.)

God bless.



 2012/2/17 19:20Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

by notlongnow on 2012/2/17 13:20:55

It has been more my experience that single mothers are one of the favoured scapegoats of society and of Pharisees.

________________

Greetings

We should help but that help must be in all areas...both with physical needs and lovingly speaking truth with them. I do think there are different situations as I said and the LORD does lead us in how is best in sharing, expressing, and loving those who find themselves in the situation of raising a child on their own.

I just know for myself I was and still am so thankful to the sister who spoke truth to me, she did not ignore the sin I was openly in or contemplating. She loved me enough to help in all the areas that matter...

God bless
mary

 2012/2/17 21:12Profile
Jer2
Member



Joined: 2012/2/19
Posts: 25


 Re:

Hello! I have read here some, and now want to join this discussion just a bit.

As a Christian single mother, I observed that my family were a problem to most "committed Christians." As my children developed some friends in Christian families, and the parents learned that I was a divorced parent, these parents pulled their kids back from mine. I saw the same responses to another Christian single mother I knew. We were untouchables in Christian society, and our children were second-class to theirs.

Unfortunately, as my children went through nine years of Christian school, and we attended churches through that time, they rarely experienced whole-hearted Christian hospitality and kindness from the parents who considered themselves to be devout. They always kept a distance between my children and theirs.

On the other hand, the Lord tenderly led my little flock. As I learned better to trust Him and look to Him for our needs, He answered in such sweet ways! My children experienced God's Fatherly provision and care in ways that their friends didn't because they had need of nothing.

It would have been better if Christians had been involved with us, but God had compassion on us, and showed Himself to be a good Father, nevertheless.


 2012/2/19 2:00Profile
roadsign
Member



Joined: 2005/5/2
Posts: 3776


 Re:

Quote:
On the other hand, the Lord tenderly led my little flock. As I learned better to trust Him and look to Him for our needs, He answered in such sweet ways! My children experienced God's Fatherly provision and care in ways that their friends didn't because they had need of nothing.

It would have been better if Christians had been involved with us, but God had compassion on us, and showed Himself to be a good Father, nevertheless.



Welcome aboard, Jer2! Your testimony is a blessing and a wonderful contribution. It reminds us that God’s love, like water, flows to the lowest points in human experience. Jesus adamantly insisted that those whom God’s people judge as the worst sinners, will be the first to receive his new hope. It seems that through your dire neediness, you have experienced God’s merciful kindness towards yourself, and that seems to have enabled you to extend mercy towards those who rejected you so severely.

It is true that the obsessive attentiveness to the Law blinds many from seeing real people as real people, and from extending compassion to the most needy. Spiritual hardness prevents us from fulfilling our calling towards the “undeserving”. But in the end of the day we all will stand before God; and it is not perfected doctrines, but our expressions of perfected love (which in reality is perfected doctrine) which will be the defining proof of our salvation.

May God, as your dear Heavenly Father, continue to empower you and your little flock to trust him for all your needs. Through you may he display the power of his merciful and long-suffering love. May he use you to be a witness of God’s love to humanity - to both “Jew” and “Gentile” – the in-group and the out-group - that many in both categories may truly come to know him.

QUESTION: How might an online forum like this serve you best?

Diane


_________________
Diane

 2012/2/19 7:31Profile
Jer2
Member



Joined: 2012/2/19
Posts: 25


 Re:

roadsign, your reply is a complete sermon about true Christianity. It is full of truth and grace!

It is very kind of you to ask how a forum might serve someone like me. Probably nothing that wouldn't be a good way to serve anyone else on here.

But, as everyone here has flesh-and-blood contact with Christians who are divorced or are single mothers, don't assume that they are currently in sin. The divorced may have perfectly Biblical reasons for being divorced. Single mothers may have been married. Both groups may have repented of earlier sin.

Mainly, it would be so helpful to such parents to have their kids feel accepted and included by strong Christian adults and their children. I wanted so badly to have some Christians help reinforce what I was trying to teach my children by displaying fatherly and motherly, Christian love for them. I wanted their best friends to be children being trained in following the Lord. But the parents wouldn't allow my children into the group. It is good for us all to remember that what we do to the least of these, we do to Jesus.

 2012/2/19 11:34Profile





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