"Still...a brother in our church challenged a black pastor about how the black men need to take leadership in their homes in order to get the black family on track.
The pastor replied with by saying it is not the men's fault! The women will not submit to their husbands! If the husband tries to take the lead and she does not like something she will be out of there and take the children with her!
Reckon something is wrong? You bet - it is a royal mess. And that is what happens when we take our own way instead of God's. Happens every-time." GinnyRose
I also have seen this happen, and in some ways, I battled with the very same scenario in my marriage of 25 years. [wife now deceased ].
By God's grace, though, I held my ground in God, and even excelled in Him in the midst of "non-submission",a term to put it mildly in her spirit. I refused, and not once did I submit to her pressure to control.
Short testimony: We had moved to Kansas city in the early nineties to a large Metro-church famous for prophets and prayer. While there I met a brother, I'll call Gary...in my home group there....single, and about 25 at the time.
He was saved out of a homosexual life-style, and was living a clean-holy life, growing in God. I moved back to my home area, after a couple of years, but ran into Gary while visiting his new church in another state. He was broken, depressed and sobbing, as the young men in his church, and living situation began to mock him, and humiliate him, and cast him out for his former sins of sodomy.
He was on the streets, broken and homeless, and asked for help. I felt very, very strongly that I was to bring him into my home, restore him from his wounds, and bless him. I did so, and he came to live with us; my wife and 14 year old son. I did not consult with my wife for her permission; I did not have to, for I had heard from God to show compassion.
My wife was not aware of Gary's former "gay" life, and when he candidly confessed it, a few weeks later, she became unglued...and demanded that I throw him out back on the streets...away from our quite handsome boy. She even went so far to use the most vulgar slang that homosexuals are called.
Then she gave me an ULTIMATUM. "It's either him, [ Gary ], are me!" I am walking right out that door, and I'm not coming back, [ with my son of course..] "IF YOU DO NOT THROW HIM OUT!"
THE PROBLEM SHE HAD WAS, THAT I KNEW THAT IF I CAST HIM OUT , I WOULD BE CASTING JESUS OUT! and that was unthinkable to me........I would not. So, without hesitation I replied to her...."There is the door...if you have to go, then go, but I am not putting this brother out....and, She packed a bag, and left with my son.
Of course I loved her, and my son, and was sad at the loss, but this had to do with my eternal walk, and I knew that to betray my friend, was to betray Jesus. Not bragging, because I fail a lot, but this is one of my successes in life, that Jesus honored.
"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother,
and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
"And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple."...Jesus
In the end, after a little while, she returned, and was respectful to Gary...and after several weeks, he was healed up and on his way again..and it was a blessed time for him, and for me. It, in an odd way, cemented my authority in my home as Priest, Father and Head...and for me too, as I realized my heart for obedience to God, and to stand when all hell breaks out against me, and my place in my family.
In the end, I was the one blamed by some as the failure in the marriage, [ never divorced, and later reconciled ] and there was nothing I could say or do...but take it. These attacks came from real religious folks...some I had considered friends. It just seems politically correct to blame the man.
I have seen terrible Jezebel demons intimidate the husband over and over with a variety of wicked strategies until the husband grunted "UNCLE", and submitted to his controlling , domineering wife...and every-time, without exception, I have watched these marriages descend into ungodly chaotic apostasy.
When he first gives in, there is often a "domino" effect in the man...not that he becomes feminized...he may remain very manly...but inside, he has relinquished a part of his will to this spirit, and a demon spirit it is.
You will observe him submitting all decisions to the wife, and his independence and moral clarity also. He becomes undependable, and you cannot trust him to keep his word; he is no longer his own. He has another master, as his possession becomes complete. He then must ask permission for everything he might do, and this tarnishes his entire life...and destroys him.
It is not just in the black churches...It's everywhere...as the feminist spirit has risen to new heights and accepted as the political norm of what every woman should do....Be all she can be. The devil strives to destroy the family in that way, and these issues must be addressed in Godly balance.
Don't hear it much taught or preached...Tom