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Joined: 2012/1/16
Posts: 3

 I Struggle

Hi everyone, I have recently made my first public acceptance of Jesus as Lord and I asked him for forgiveness and acceptance and well, truth be known, I feel lost. I want to follow the Lord, but I am struggling to keep every day vows that I make to God. I find it hard to discipline myself as I feel totally wretched still and do doubt my salvation. I have been reduced to fasting everyday, then making a pig of myself as I get in the door, I read the word first thing in the morning and last thing at night, I struggle with prayer but I do try and seek Him, but I am always convicted BIG TIME of some of the horrible, evil things I have done in life. I don't feel worthy in the church I have been going to since new years day, I'm embarrased around my family because I hurt them so much, yet I want to soldier on. I listen to Gods word at work and have downloaded stuff from here to listen to, I love it but feel like I am trying to hard...I'm confused! what does everyone suggest...I have no idea how to live, what to do, what to say to anyone, how to read the word let alone understand it, I forget I'm christian half the time, and I would'have the first idea what to do when I get am i supposed to read the bible, how do I have my private devotions etc etc...I'm totally...lost!

 2012/1/17 3:05Profile

Joined: 2010/3/2
Posts: 251

 Re: I Struggle

Im not sure if you're making a point or if you're really in a struggle. If you are, "how did you get Saved?" By faith. So walk you the same way.

Rules and laws to help you live for God will only bring condemnation and death. Please do not listen to many on here as they will tell you all sorts of things to do in order to be more holy. It is a lie.

You have been freely given everything you'll ever need. You are now made with the same exact perfection and Righteousness as Jesus.

It further says, "you are the Righteousness of God through Christ Jesus"

Trying to please an angry God will end in frustration. I know things may be difficult but you ought to watch a few of these by Paul White:

I hope the links works here... (:

The truth is, God is no longer legally able to be angry at you for your actions. Grace never makes a person sin, yet laws and rules constantly do. All sin had already been judged in the Body of Jesus, what is there left for you to pay for? None of us were alive when Christ died on the Cross for us so all our sins were yet future.

as you see Jesus, you become more like Him. Focus on your problem, you'll have problems. See how wonderful and beautiful and lovely Jesus is, you become like that.

Too often, preachers think they must cram Jesus down throats. No... sadly NO! Jesus already lives in you and wants to manifest out of you. So Faith comes by hearing the Word. Jesus is the Word. SO as we see Jesus, our Faith increases.

He aready accomplished everything for you. Do not condemn yourself of let others try that. I hate preachers of death and condemnation as Paul and the other apostles did. They are a waste of people's time. They are not worth your time.

You are a holy and loved Child of the King most high! Just believe it and your walk will get stronger.

Strong Faith is never attempting to live perfect. You already are made Perfect by Faith. that's weak faith. Faith of Strength is that Faith that knows you're already blessed and there is nothing you can do to make God angry once you're His Child. He'll never throw you away.

That crap about "get right or get left in the rapture..." don't listen to it. also, that nonsense of "if you don't repent daily, you'll go straight to hell" If I could only talk to those teachers personally...

they kill Faith. Godly people (who know they can't live perfect) will edify and encourage and never tear down His loved Children. You should personal message me your facebook or something. Lots of love, God Bless!

 2012/1/17 8:46Profile

Joined: 2011/4/24
Posts: 188
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

 Re: I Struggle

Hey Vaimoa,

I did notice something that you have written on your post. You write a lot of "I"s. I have recently....I have...I do try.....I listen....and if you notice, it's really all about you and not about what Christ has done. Not to put you down or anything, but it's like Paul in Romans 7 where he writes the word "I" 19 times and Leonard Ravenhill described it as a self-centred life. One encouragement I will give you is that your "I" has already been crucified and that Christ lives in you. You are no longer under any obligation, but you are free under grace. Just simply ask God for that revelation, that Christ finished all the work on Calvary and that there is nothing left for you to do. Another thing is just to be honest before God about your state. Psalm 51:6, "Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart." God is happy when you are honest with Him, and He will teach you wisdom/truth/revelation and burn it into your heart. May the Lord bring you out of this. I personally have the same problem with a works-based salvation and law, having a lot of trouble accepting grace, but may God help us all not to doubt His love for us.

In Jesus' Name,

- Michael Liao

Michael Liao

 2012/1/17 12:00Profile

Joined: 2011/8/20
Posts: 1756

 Re: I Struggle

I feel sorry for the very first reply you got. It is not from Gospel. God wants us to live like Jesus and we can and he has equipped us with everything for living like Jesus.
When a person is Born again he receives the Spirit of the Lord (Holy Spirit). The sign of this is Conviction of Sin in our day to day life. Which I have seen in you as I see in myself. So I believe you are on right track. Keep seeking God more and learn fast that you cannot keep his standard by your own effort. You need to live by completely trusting God's Grace and his Strength. It takes time to start living completely by Gace. It took me close to 2 years to learn living by Grace and to stop doing things by my strength. It is called Brokenness. God is breaking you now. I will pray that you will reach this broken stage quickly. It is very important for you not to listen to people who say God is not going to look at you anymore as you are saved. Do not trust them. You are on the right track already. We have eternal security as long as we follow Jesus.

I also want you to be clear about your Past sins. Have complete Faith that God has forgiven them, provided you have confessed them all to God alone. Even if the people around you still remember them, the one who created them all is not going to remember. Pray that God will put this in your heart. Also make sure you forgive others who are still judging you for your past sins. God will set everything properly in an oderly way. Do not worry.


 2012/1/17 12:26Profile

Joined: 2010/3/27
Posts: 49


The best advice we can give a new Christian is...beware of the professional clergy. I can tell by your post that you have been heavily influenced by priestcraft. Those guys will draw your attention away from Jesus and get you focused on your own performance. Focus on Jesus and you will find yourself living the Christian life without even trying.

 2012/1/17 16:25Profile

Joined: 2010/4/19
Posts: 447

 Re: I Struggle

I was watching Brother Zac talk about this very issue today in a sermon on his site, I don't think it has been added here yet:

Pay attention to what he says regarding our walk with Christ (he makes a comparison to different grades or standards and how we progress through them in school).

A personal story:

My son came home from school on his first day with a sad look on his face and my wife asked him how school was. He looked at her and told her it was disappointing because "they haven't even taught me how to read yet". It would have been ridiculous to give him an or expect him to do an 8th grade algebra exam. The Lord is not a cruel taskmaster, He's wonderful and knows where you are at every day. Jesus said "Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" if you are weary and heavy laden you can be sure that the devil is in it.

Be happy with where God has you and don't expect to live like the super Christian, in fact Paul said "it is NOT WISE to compare yourselves with another", our example is Jesus and I have good news, we all fall short of Him! His mercy is new every day. While this is never an excuse to live in sin, it does give us a great hope!

I'll pray for you!

 2012/1/17 16:51Profile

Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3283


vaimoa, When God saves us He forgives all past, present and future sins. Thus, all a believer's sins are forgiven by God's mercy and Grace. After a person is saved in 1 John 1:9 tells the Christian to ask God for forgiveness when he fails and ask in repentance. Repentance means more than just being sorry, it means to turn from sin and go in the opposite direction. True true repentance involves the attitude of making the commitment not commit the sin again. God promises he will forgive (He already has) and cleanse us from doing the sin again. Confession of sin, which is the admitting to and self confronting of our sin is part of the possess of overcoming the sin in the future.

This does not erase the negative consequences of our sin nor can it undo the harm done in our lives by the sin or the lives of others. You will always bear the memory and results of your actions. One's spouse, children and family will always live under the shadow of the divorce. However, this does not mean that you cannot live a life now and in the future for the Lord Jesus Christ and once again have the joy and peace of salvation.

Think about alcoholics, drug addicts, thieves, etc. God forgives them of their sin and after they are truly saved many live fruitful lives that honor the Lord. They have to bear the consequences of their acts such as prison, being branded a criminal and in the case of drug abusers, have a weakened body and shorter life. This applies also to those who sinned after they were saved as they will bear a lost of testimony that is hard, but not impossible to recover. The day we truly repent begins a new day. Every day we live in repentance, obeying the Lord, honors God.

David sinned by committing adultery and then murder. It destroyed his family and hindered his role as the king of Israel..however, David being truly repentant went on to be used of the Lord to write many of the Psalms that are such a blessing to so many down through the ages.

We never can forget our past sins, but we take our comfort and the strength to go with our lives, knowing that God has forgiven us and that we can serve Him today and for the rest of our lives. It is said that God is the God of new beginnings and that is surely true.

Every believer whom God has forgiven should make it a daily prayer to thank God for His wonderful mercy and forgiveness and for the strength He gives to keep us from sinning as we have in the past. We each have the rest of our lives to show God our appreciation for His mercy and Grace. Read Psalm 40. In my personal life salvation has been a process, I was saved in 1995 and I still struggle, but I also right now at this point in my life have grown closer to the Lord than ever. I heard a Pastor say this once, "no one can beat up another person worse than a Christian, and no one can beat themselves up worse that a Christian" this is a sad but true statement. Take baby steps, it took you a long time to get were you are today, it will take you a long to to get were you want to be, but trust me the ride will be worth every minute of it.


 2012/1/17 18:23Profile

Joined: 2007/2/8
Posts: 1508

 Re: I Struggle

Hi Vaimoa,
Firstly welcome.
You are now going to heaven,you know Christ.You now know the most important thing their is to know Jesus existed and died for you,and for all your future sins.
You are no different than almost all the memberes of Sermonindex.We all have done things we feel guilty about and have to some measure gone through what you are going through.The very fact that you hate all the bad things about your past and even your present life shows God is working in you.
You should remind yourself that Jesus saved you by Grace not by how many times you fast or read your bible.
These things are important but you appear to be striving.
You are putting too great a burden on yourself.
Jesus has saved you and has a purpose for your life.Whatever God has for you is greater than anything you possibly could have achieved if you hadnt met him.Celebrate just a little.
Be a little kind to yourself.You need to feel the love,the great great love.I have put a link below to a sermon that will just make you smile,christianity isnt a chore!It will lift you up.
Yours Staff

 2012/1/17 19:47Profile

Joined: 2010/3/2
Posts: 251


Sree, did you not write,

"Never should we try to answer Satan with our good conduct but always with the Blood. Yes, we are sinful, but, praise God! the Blood cleanses us from every sin. God looks upon the Blood whereby His Son has met the charge..."

on your own page?

this is in essence close to what I wrote. What did I say that is unbiblical?

Our new brother should not be placed in condemnation right after Salvation.

thank you.

 2012/1/17 20:21Profile

Joined: 2011/8/14
Posts: 1075


Dear brother, Sister ?
Seek the king, ..who is Jesus,..and as Paul,when he first had that incounter withJesus,in Acts.

He said " What would Thou have for me to do Lord ?"
I believe that is what Paul did,...always !
He allowed the King, who is Jesus to reign over him.
So seek Him ,through the Spirit, to lead, you into all things.
He is Faithful,..He will not fail you.
But there is a dying to self,..for His will to be worked in you.

May He Bless you mightily with Himself,

 2012/1/17 20:55Profile

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