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Hello Savannah,

I hope you enjoyed the book I posted. By posting the link to Conjurke's book it was my intention to respond to Tim Conway's comments and thoughts on "Choosing a Wife for Beauty is Vain." Also, it was my intent to edify the Body of Christ and to encourage the saints to walk blamelessly in all areas of their lives while glorifying God.

I am married to a beautiful godly woman :) If it was not for Conjurske's book I do not know if I would be as happy in my marriage as I am right now. There is godly wisdom in a multitude of counselors.

1. Spiritual connection: We are both born again and have similar views of theology, doctrine, and the purposes of God for our lives.
2. Soul connection: We both have an emotional and intellectual connection as the book describes in more detail.
3. Body: She is the most beautiful woman in the whole world and I am the most handsome for her.
4. Christ: with Christ in the center and by the power of His Holy Spirit we are together learning from Him to be one as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are One, so that we might shine our light before men so that they will see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven. Our boast is not in what we have done, "may it never be that we would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to us, and us to the world."

Sincerely in Christ's name,

Kenneth and Bia Martin

 2011/12/29 11:27

Joined: 2011/12/29
Posts: 31

 Re: Should I Marry Someone Because Of Outward Beauty?

I have to disagree strongly with the original post. Marriages are not based on romantic love. Romance may come and go, but it is transitory and usually long gone after the intial stages of a marriage. Romance is an illusion. It is true biblical marriages were arranged and this was good to God. Statistically, arranged marriages today outlast most other marriages. What I am saying is that a marriage that lasts is based on committment and a decision to love our spouse every day till we die. There are untold marriages where 'christian' spouses declare they want a divorce because the 'attraction' has gone, or there is no 'chemistry'. It is a disgrace that professing christians have denigrated themselves to the shallow, vein, cruel standards of the world. I wholeheartedly agree with Paul Washers preaching in this video

Praise the Lord, that Paul Washer and Tim Conway are preaching the truth on this matter.

You can marry the most beautiful or handsome person you can find, but any number of things can happen, they could lose a vital body part to cancer, (even lose the ability to physially intimate), they could be physically disfigured, they could have a stroke, they could become wheelchair bound, they could be brain damaged. These are all realities, and 'romantic' love would not bear any of these scenarios for too long.

Our Father God does at look at the outward appearance, He looks at the heart, and we must be like Him. Flesh is decaying day by day, but our inward man is being renewed to be more and more like the beautiful Lord. He asks us to love like in 1 Cor 13. I don't believe 1 Cor 13 mentions romantic attraction.

I feel strongly about this because untold marriages, christian and non christian have been torn apart and destroyed over this very issue.

This is a good testimony to read regarding how the Lord leads us to a marriage partner if we will wait for His Will, timing and wisdom and what is important to the Lord, and should be to us, in who and why we marry:

(It is from Elisabeth Elliot's book, Quest for Love. Chapter 3.)

Please note in this testimony that the missionary Fred Malir fell in love with Jesus in his future Wife. He gave up an intial 'romantic' 'love' when he was younger and never lived to regret it. To quote Fred Malir: " “Caveat emptor— Buyers Beware! ... Marriage is a serious business. Why not consult with the Chief Inspector Himself ?"

In Christ's love.

 2011/12/29 13:00Profile

Joined: 2011/12/29
Posts: 31


p.s please forgive me for posting my reply in the wrong place initally. Just getting the hang of this.

Also I belive if my memory serves me correctly that Fred Malir's own account of his marriage testimony is in his book:

'Joy!: Enjoy being at least 1000 times happier'
by Fred Malir (Author)

There are some copies on Amazon.
God bless you.

 2011/12/29 13:02Profile


Dear Notlongnow,

Wow, you know Fred and Ann Malir? They have both been friends of mine for years. They are in their 80's now and have a godly marriage. I would love to hear their stance on a godly marriage, the purpose of Conjurske's book and the testimony of their godly marriage. I speak with them over the phone once a month and I will mention this post to them.

I have all of Fred's books and they are marvelous. I wish every Christian could sit down and fellowship with them in their home as my wife and I have had the opportunity to do in times past.

May the Lord bless you and keep you in the love of God,

Kenneth Martin

 2011/12/29 13:35

Joined: 2011/12/29
Posts: 31


Hello Kenneth,

thanks for the reply.

(I really hope this is posted in the right spot :)I really don't use forums too often and hope this is not off topic, or in the wrong place.)

No, I do not know Fred and Anne Malir personally, but you are very blessed to know them as friends. It is even wonderful just to hear that you know them personally. I only have one of Fred Malir's books but it was very edifying and a great blessing to me. I have read it over and over. (I have had a lot of difficulty trying to track down any other of Fred's books.)

I agree it would be interesting and helpful to hear their views on this topic. They certainly seem to be a truly godly couple with many years of experience in marriage that brings glory to God. The testimony of how the Lord brought them together has helped me so many times in my own walk and is an beautiful example of the Lord's hand in this area of our life, and our lives in general.

God bless you.

 2011/12/29 14:09Profile

Joined: 2009/12/12
Posts: 592


Jimp, what do you make of Jacob and Rachel's story? He seemed to be in love with her, no?


 2011/12/29 19:41Profile

Joined: 2011/12/27
Posts: 39



From Scripture we find the below three reasons why God ordained marriage.

1. For companionship (we read that in Genesis)
2. To bring forth Godly offspring (Malachi 2:15)
3. To satisfy our physical desires and escape fornication (1 Cor 7:2)

Other reasons like - being a witness to Christ and a blessing to others is possible for singles also.

So we need to keep the 3 things in mind when we are considering a person for a life partner. And of course, it should be "in the Lord".


 2011/12/30 6:49Profile


Dear Notlongnow:

I just spoke with Fred and Ann Malir and they are going to write a testimony of their marriage for me to post on this forum. :)

I believe this might be the Lord, because tomorrow is their 51 year anniversary, December 31st. Wow!!! Also, Fred would love to speak with you, he is 88 years old, but still sharp and full of the Spirit of God. He asked me for your physical address so he can mail you more of his books. Also, he said you could call them or email them. Feel free to email me if you want:

Again, this is really amazing, you coming on this forum and all and mentioning his name. They truly are a blessing to the Body of Christ.

Expect to see their testimony sometime soon.

May the Lord's peace and joy fill your heart.

Love in Christ's name,

Kenneth Martin

 2011/12/30 22:44

Joined: 2011/12/29
Posts: 31


Dear Kenneth,

wow. That is wonderful news! More than you can imagine. I can't wait to read their marriage testimony and have been praying for them as they write it. It makes it all the more beautiful and timely, that it was their 51st Wedding anniversary on the 31st of December! It surely was the Lord.

I will send you an email today.

In Christ.

 2012/1/1 14:39Profile


It might be a couple of weeks or so before we hear from them, they have been busy.

I sent them Conjurske's book, Fred said he was interested in reading it. Hope to hear something from them soon. :)

I had a few saints email me for more information on Fred and his books. I forwarded their information to them as well.

God Bless,


 2012/1/6 22:01

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