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Joined: 2011/9/3
Posts: 18

 question about divorce and remarriage

If a person is divorced and remarried, are they living in a perpetually adulterous relationship?
Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I was divorced and remarried about 8 years ago. This is my husband's second marriage as well. I would have said that I was born again when I remarried but I was deceiving myself. I never truly repented until the past few years. I had a lady from my church call me a couple of years ago and tell me that I must repent of the sin of adultery by leaving my husband and remaining unmarried. I prayed and searched the scriptures and decided that God's grace covers even the sin of divorce. It comes up in my heart a lot and I pray I am not deceiving myself. I want to live an fully repented and obedient life. I'd appreciate input from the mature saints here.


 2011/10/15 21:04Profile

Joined: 2007/8/22
Posts: 116

 Re: question about divorce and remarriage

This is one of those explosive topics that always ends in verbal spats on here. I'm going to refrain from my view of this. Google "marriage, divorce and remarriage" you will find a wealth of resourses. I have had to work through this my self....having a "wife" who is at present divorcing me. Seek and you will find, is His promise. The Lord will confirm His word to you as you seek His will on your knees.


 2011/10/15 21:18Profile

Joined: 2008/8/13
Posts: 640

 Re: question about divorce and remarriage

1Co 7:20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

1Co 7:24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

 2011/10/15 22:05Profile

Joined: 2008/10/30
Posts: 2042

 Re: question about divorce and remarriage

I begin with The Word of Grace and Truth:

John 1:17 For the Law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

Q. "If a person is divorced and remarried, are they living in a perpetually adulterous relationship?"

A. NO!

A lawfully(i.e. God's Law)divorced person has no wife/husband. Such persons are not married.

Therefore,if they marry they have not sinned nor are they living in a perpetually adulterous relationship.

Rome may say to the contrary, but we are not romans who follow the Pope and her abominations taught by her. We are christians who follow Christ and are taught of God.

"I had a lady from my church call me a couple of years ago and tell me that I must repent of the sin of adultery by leaving my husband and remaining unmarried."

This lady from your church needs to repent for telling you to leave your husband.

When legalistic emphasis is placed on the divorce law at the expense of showing mercy to the divorced, then we find ourselves in the same legalism Jesus repeatedly condemned in the Pharisees. The person should be preeminent in the consideration, not simply a prescription about divorce and remarriage.

All divorces are merely the ultimate result which is due to man's sin. God hates the sins which lead to divorce as it reveals the corruption of the heart of man just as God hates the sins of the corrupt heart which leads a man to love money, but He does not hate money itself, as it has no sinfulness inherent of itself (a study of the original Greek language used in Malachi 2:16 and the context of the same would reveal something very different from what has been taught from this text).

The truth is that the divorce law was/is a display of God's mercy because of the hardness of men's hearts.

Marriage was made for man not man for marriage.

I know a man who asked Zac Poonen that same question(above)you've asked and below is the reply Zac Poonen gave.
(I am including this from Zac Poonen,not because I agree with everything that he says in this because some of what he says here I do not agree with,but because many will be surprised at his reply).

"We don't have any case of divorced couples in our church in 27 years - not even one. We just don't have to deal with such situations in India. This is one of the blessings of being in a poor country.

God accepts certain things in this world that are the result of man's sinful actions, even though God does not endorse them Himself. Divorce is one such thing. Each case of divorce must be dealt with individually but where children are involved, God permits some things, because the alternative would involve a lot of suffering for the children.

I don't believe you are living in adultery, because when your wife was was divorced by her first husband, neither of them were believers. So she was not under grace or the new covenant (that is under Jesus' teaching).
All those who have not come under the new covenant are under the old covenant - under which divorce was permitted (Deut. 24:1-5; Matt.19:8).

Stay with your wife and bring up the children in the fear of God. Now that you are saved, you have to think of your children and you cannot make them suffer (by you both separating from each other) because of the past history that either of you may have. Put the past behind you under the blood of Jesus and press on in to the future without any sense of condemnation.

God has a plan for your life. May you both fulfil it."

The Lord bless you.
Zac Poonen

I end with The Word of Grace and Truth and Love:

2 John 1:3 Grace, mercy, peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.

 2011/10/15 23:27Profile

Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3407
This world is not my home anymore.

 Re: question about divorce and remarriage

You are going to get an avalanche of people’s takes of the Bible on this issue, but it will be you AND THE HOLY SPIRIT who will have to decipher this (hopefully along with your husband).

I absolutely do NOT believe that Jesus wants to tear up another family with yet another divorce just to remarry the first one, this is illogical on so many levels but believe it or not, there is a cult following of people who do believe this. So I have a question for you....

Did Jesus tell the Samaritan woman to leave the man she was “living with” to return to her first husband? Or could he have meant return to her second husband? Hmmm? Maybe we got the Scriptures wrong and he said for her to return to her third husband... fourth??? Nope! He said, “NEITHER DO I CONDEMN THEE: GO, AND SIN NO MORE.”

Logically speaking, this would have been the PERFECT opportunity (place) for Jesus to have told a "divorced" person to return to the first spouse; but lo and behold.... guess what? It’s not there. But there are those who won't stop "adding unto these things," (Rev 22.18).

myallinall wrote:
I prayed and searched the scriptures and decided that God's grace covers even the sin of divorce. It comes up in my heart a lot and I pray I am not deceiving myself. I want to live an fully repented and obedient life. I'd appreciate input from the mature saints here.

This issue does need to be addressed and you need to feel secure in God’s redeeming love and grace so that you will stop allowing the enemy to bring this up in your heart b/c where there is doubt, he has a foothold.

1 John 4.17-18 .... By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the Day of Judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

God bless you, Lori


 2011/10/16 0:50Profile

Joined: 2009/8/31
Posts: 416
Ohio USA


What is repentance? Feeling sorry about something or changing your ways?
Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Death do us part? A promise?
Are there different commandments for the lost and saved? Or just one commandment, God's, that applies to everyone?

That's the key... go and sin no more.


 2011/10/16 3:11Profile

Joined: 2008/8/13
Posts: 640


Back in the OT, those great men like King David were polygamous and adulterous to the point of death but they were overlooked, unless one will say that King David is lost.

The question "What happens when someone has been married and divorced before they got saved?"

It will be overlooked and these will apply:

1Co 7:17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all churches.

1Co 7:24 Each in whatever way he was called, brothers, in this remain with God.

Go and sin no more...don't commit another divorce and remarry again.

 2011/10/16 7:39Profile


I always find that when these kind of questions come up it's always wise to refrain from offering my opinions on it, and to refrain from interpretting scripture for others on this matter.

3 reasons:

1) I'm not 100% sure what the answer is because this is quite a grey area...and neither can anyone else on here be 100% sure. We can take several scriptures and proove one point, but then other passages seem to point in another direction.

2) We're dealing with people's families, and probably with children as well. We dont know all the factors and everything involved... and when dealing with families I think it's foolish to offer advice when not 100% sure.

3) We're dealing with souls as well.


 2011/10/16 9:06

Joined: 2009/2/20
Posts: 494
Celina, Texas

 Re: question about divorce and remarriage

So you have been born again only in the past few years? It would seem you now have a third marriage within your second marriage. As a believer you are subject to your current husbands. Christ first, and by serving him you will now be the godly wife of your other husband (by the second marriage). If God's grace isn't applicable in this case, then none will be left standing. Now you have the testimony that the second and third marriages are for life!

 2011/10/16 10:47Profile

Joined: 2007/4/25
Posts: 1529
Scotland, UK

 Re: question about divorce and remarriage


Have you spoke to your Husband and the Pastor about this as you shouldn't face this battle of condemnation alone...

Satan is the enforcer of the law, you should ignore the accusing voices of guilt as condemnation is ALWAYS from the evil one

Remember what Jesus said. "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more"

Colin Murray

 2011/10/16 12:37Profile

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