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Joined: 2009/1/21
Posts: 1559
Locport, Illinois

 Anyone who can tell me of their experience of their struggle with the Holy Spirit being silent

I know that sometimes as believers we all have gone through stages where we seemed that God might be far from us. I for a long time have felt as if i have grieved the holy Spirit away from me and kind of been left to my flesh with part of me desiring to be filled with the Holy Spirit and at the same time seeing myself as I am in my wicked flesh and unable to walk in the Spirit. for me this has gone on for a long time and i have struggled to have the Holy Spirit come back. I know that scripture makes certain promises, but the more i struggle to serve the Lord and walk in the Spirit I realize that without the Holy Spirit I am helplessly lost and really am like an unbeliever, the only difference is that i am crying out to God while the unbeliever doesn't care. The thing thhat scares me the most is the fact that while their is great encouragement from the saints about god's forgiveness and great mercy, i find myself still finding it impossible at all to walk with him without this great sense of his absence and my wickedness just overcoming my greatest efforts to serve him. Also you read of others testimonies of the Holy Spirit leaving them and to never return even after years of seeking him and then others finding grace in his sight sooner or later. it is hard to believe that God is back in my life while it seems that i am becoming more wicked in my heart towards others and have just seemed to be filled with unrighteousness too, losing the desire for the things that are right, and i don't mean the wickedness you realize you our when God is revealing his holiness to you, but as someone who is falling farther and farther and growing harder and harder. It is really hard to see the hope many talk about, when you go 4 years of getting worse. I am writing this with the intention to be encouraged just so you know my intentions, because i have had some dark times of hopelessness more and more. This comes more into my mind seeing i have sought the Lord more and more for 4 years to silence in the sense of not hearing his voice and going through severe pain and suffering. I really have an ounce of hope, but their is still hope.

John Beechy

 2011/9/18 20:50Profile

Joined: 2005/1/8
Posts: 132

 Re: Anyone who can tell me of their experience of their struggle with the Holy Spirit

I went though the same thing a few years ago. The secret to bring Him back is fasting and prayer and seek the Lord with all your heart you will find Him. Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually. Worship Him in Spirit by praying and singing in tounges. Pray in the Spirit and pray with your mind.

Try dry fasting, I believe its more effective. Start with 2 days of only liquid, and then break the fast. Then 2 days dry (no liquid or water) break fast. 3 days dry fast and then break fast. 4 days dry fast. During the fast pray, read your bible, mediate on His goodness and crying to Him. I gurantee you the Holy Spirit will come to you like a flood. This always works for me. I even have dreams and visions. God bless you my friend.


 2011/9/18 21:35Profile

Joined: 2011/8/20
Posts: 1731

 Re: Anyone who can tell me of their experience of their struggle with the Holy Spirit

Brother I was in the same stage as you once and felt like I lost my calling totally and God has lost interest in me. Then when I cried and prayed and asked him to show me a verse to know that I am still in his elect. He showed me John 14:1. Where Jesus says there is room for me in his kingdom. I felt like he was talking directly to me.

The fact that you are still crying after every unrighteous act (as I did) tells me that you still have the spirit of God in you that is showing you that it is grieved by this act of yours. One day I suddenly understood how weak my flesh is and understood the true meaning of being poor in spirit. I heard about poor in spirit so many times but I understood them only after hitting the rock bottom. Once i understood that I am poor in spirit and my flesh is weak I kept obeying every single thing that the Holy Spirit told me because I know that I am weak. THE REASON WE FAIL IN BIG THINGS IS BECAUSE WE IGNORE THE VOICE OF SPIRIT IN SMALL THINGS, LIKE WHAT KIND OF PROGRAMS WE WATCH. When we do as we wish and corrupt our heart with these legal but spiritually unbeneficial things we also fail in big things that are actually Sin like adultery. So please pray that God will break your flesh though these tough times.

When we sin we are getting cold for the voice of Spirit and the more we sin we are getting colder and colder which also freezes us hard like ice. THe more we move away from him the less we hear him.

Other believers please do not answer this thread by just quoting Bible verses and thinking that you are encouraging him. Even if you tell just 1 verse just tell how it helped you (with a personal testimony) rather than copy pasting 100s of verses.


 2011/9/18 22:36Profile

Joined: 2011/9/19
Posts: 1


Hi brother

This has happened to me a number of times. I will get deeper with God and then will come times that I feel Him slipping away over months and even years. During this time I am in full knowledge that I can feel God slipping away even though I pray and fast. Eventually I will be very discouraged. After a long time God will suddenly manifest Himself to me again and I will feel his presence but more importantly I experience great victory over sin.

I have come to a few conclusions regarding these experiences.

1. Many people are experiencing Christian life in this same way but are pretending that they never feel this way because it would be too hard on their pride to admit their sinfulness. Thank God that he has given you grace to be honest. Deceitfulness is the scourge of the church today.

2. God is showing us our sinfulness by this and how we can do nothing on our own. In the day we live in if people do not feel many, many times that they are falling short of the mark they are deluding themselves.

Having said this, I would just like to say that if you continue to cry after God even though you are discouraged at times; YOU WILL FIND HIM. Even if you have less and less power over sin keep crying out for deliverance. HE WILL SAVE YOU.

3. God has shown me that my biggest struggle is with unbelief. I naturally feel that I can figure out God's way on my own. I find God when I accept that God comes in His own time, not mine.

4. The most important thing I have learned is that when I am going through these times it is for my growth NOT my destruction. God loves me so much that he will prune the sin from my life because this is necessary for my salvation. Going through this experience makes you feel like a miserable sinner. THIS IS THE TRUTH. In many areas we will always fall short of the glory of God. But I know that there never yet was a person who kept trying to find God honestly, even though failing because of sin, and was lost in the end.

On a different note, Are you in a church that preaches only from the bible and not traditions of men? Do the leaders preach repentance, first of all for themselves? You must have fellowship with believers who hold only to the word of God.

I hope this helps and if it doesn't it may not be for you at this time.

Praying that you will hold on,

 2011/9/19 0:49Profile


It happens with me when I am not completely consecrated to God and I have a divided heart. He shows me these areas where I need to consecrate myself to the Him fully and make my heart single in the particular area he highlights. When I am walking in obedience, I hear him.

 2011/9/19 1:44


It happened to me brother about 18 months ago. For the past 30 years I had a very close and intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord would give me His sweet and tender touch when I would get beside my bed on my knees and pray. The Lord revealed things to me, the Lord answered my prayers about nearly anything I asked him about. The Lord lead me and guided me by his Holy Spirit. I thought this was normal for all Christians, but I now realize the Lord had very much mercy and grace for me, and also I spent a lot of time in prayer. But, I had a habitual sexual sin in my life (very serious more than masturbation) and one day about 18 months ago I woke up, and I realized the Holy Spirit had moved far away from me. Gone was that tender touch, and the Lord does not speak to me about anything anymore. I am so hurt by this, and I wonder, like you, has He left for good? Charles Finny has suggested that in some cases he will leave and not come back ever in this life. I have heard stories of the Holy Spirit being gone for years in a believers life, and then eventually He came back. I wish I could answer your question, but I don't know. I know the Lord hears the prayers of other believers on my behalf because I feel the Spirit of the Lord move on me when they pray. I seem to be slowly getting better over time, but I'm not sure. Wish I could answer your question. I have not given up hope, but I sometimes wonder if there is any hope.

Are we allowed to give our personal testimonies on here? I've never given mine in public or on an internet board like this.

 2011/9/19 2:27

Joined: 2009/1/21
Posts: 1559
Locport, Illinois


Brothers my church i am going to is actually about to have a big vote for my pastor in two weeks and it really might cause a big divide because our pastor is not the typical southern baptist preacher and he really is more of one who teaches the word of God, but anyways if he gets voted in i feel we very well might be getting into the word more which is good. Our service really wasn't even a service today, everyone for 2 hours discussed the problems and issues at large in our church, people had been quiting their positions in the church and leaving the church and pastor began to discuss this and everyone voiced their opinion, it really could be the beginning of something good. I gave the idea to our pastor if he was voted in that we should go over what it means to be apart of the body of Christ and what God expects of each person, the pastor, deacon, women etc. biblically. Basically that we go back to the Bible and see what God expects from us individually and a church, i hope that happens but we will see. on to my struggles, i really feel if you have read my prayers s that through my unrepentant sexual sin for a few years and marrying an unbelieving wife named Allyce who i love very much i opened the door severely to evil spirits, which have tormented me for over 4 years now, in my mind with my faith and thinking rightly and even believing God's word, also they have attacked my health ad body, and i struggle with voices in my head that just torment with curses towards others and just wicked thoughts and even laughter over bad things. I am struggling right now as i speak with demonic spirits that are trying to paralize my body, which has been going on for 4 months now, and this has just all tormented for a little over 4 years now. It just got me to a point of hopelessness at times, like i feel better a little bit tonight, but i just don't have strength to continue on much like this, i can't workout or exercise because of my back problem that the Lord revealed to me is demonic and which i was healed of before, so i have lost a lot of energy mentally and physically which i struggle fighting these demons and the right thoughts on a daily basis because of this. I then am tormented by evil thoughts and overwhelming lusts towards women and doubts towards God that i can never seem to just be at rest. My heart has got hard towards God and his word and desire for righteousness, and seems to be falling back into my old ways before i was converted, but knowinglingly which is kind of scary, Charles Finney does make you feel hopeless at times, but we are either left with saying okay God you have left us and give up on the God we desire and go back to the world which we don't want, or we can say maybe their is hope and maybe God will finally show mercy back to us, but it gets hard. You know i look back at my mistakes and say man if i just never would have got involved in sexual sin the way i did i would never be in this mess, but i also say i was a young christian of less than a year with not much knowledge, I am sure God understands my fooolishness i hope He does at least, I mean great saints of old have sinned like David, but God had forgiven him, but at the same time we don't want to make excuses for sin. i don't know it is a tough subject and it confuses me. I read the scripture of the prodigal son and see this father run to his child, or you read various scriptures that say heavens forgiveness or Gods forgiveness is like forgiving someone 7 times 70 and you say wow God wants us back and he does forgive us, but why this tormented struggle of the soul, why can't we come back and rest in the Lord again. I want the lord i don't want to be who i am and who i have been. Good wisdom to everyone.

John Beechy

 2011/9/19 3:03Profile

Joined: 2010/11/17
Posts: 53


you say wow God wants us back and he does forgive us, but why this tormented struggle of the soul, why can't we come back and rest in the Lord again. I want the lord i don't want to be who i am and who i have been.

Then forgive yourself and move on. I know its easier said than done, but I have been in a pit somewhat like yours. I finally came to a point where i knew God had forgiven me, but I still hated myself for being so evil, no less evil than I am now i assume, but I just let go. I let go of it all, who I was or who I was going to be and said ok God you love me I know and have forgiven me I know so I won't hold on to this sin that you have already put behind you. At that point I was brought, note not by me, God brought me out of the pit I was in because I let go and He was all that was left. I'm not telling you to do this or that. Pray certain number or hours, not that thats bad, but ust forgive. That's what God wants, forgiveness, love, but do these things to yourself. How are you to see God's goodness if your blinded by hatred of self? He loves you so love yourself, in a godly way.

In my experience sin will keep you in the pit your in. Further more I had a dream I believe was from God. In it a friend told me something like that sin blocks the Word of God. Not the word of the bible, but The Word. So try to start anew knowing God has forgiven you, you don't have to go back. Hope is before you, will you choose to open your eyes and look back? I'm not saying its easy, but you don't need easy, you need possible and it is.

I pray this will help, but know there is a way out. The devil just wants us to give up, thats the only way he can win. Psalms 51 is my prayer when I'm blind and i know it was because of sin. Let me know if you would like to talk or anything like that.

In Love,


 2011/9/19 4:29Profile


Bible4life, my problems with demonic spirits started when I was 20. I'm now 54, and to this day I still wrestle with a nuisance spirit that plays music in my mind. I believe it is a mocking demonic spirit. I've been through deliverance a few times and each time it has been very helpful. When I had the demonic problem I thought that God hated me and that He was out to get me. I had the usual "you've comitted the unpardonable sin" issue that all young Christians have when this happens. It was all a lie of the enemy. The enemy knows what proven methods work well. I went througha a lot of tormenting demonic fear and pain for 3 years. I would wake up at 3AM with a racing heart and demonic fear. This type of fear is worse than any natural "human" fear. But, I'll tell you what. I began to seek the Lord with all my heart then. Prior to that I had been a very angry and rebellious teenager--yes even angry and rebellious at the Lord. My problem was with authority. I hated the oppressive authority I was raised under. I wanted Jesus, but not on terms of being submitted to His authority. This has been my problem my whole life. The sexual stuff was just an offshoot of that.

But, I'll tell you one thing brother, when I began to seek the Lord with all my heart, the Lord also drew near to me. The Holy Spirit began His ministry in my life that I talked about in a previous post in this thread. I know that when you read Romans 9, it is hard to believe that what we do makes any difference. But like the last poster said, the Lord does love you. Even if the Lord takes us through a lot of pain, He still loves us. Even if the Lord just flat out punishes us for our sin, He still loves us. He still is up to something good. So, don't give up. Something good will work out.

 2011/9/19 9:10


Other believers please do not answer this thread by just quoting Bible verses and thinking that you are encouraging him. Even if you tell just 1 verse just tell how it helped you (with a personal testimony) rather than copy pasting 100s of verses.

I understand what you're saying here... because I hate it when people just copy paste on this forum. However, I notice a trend on this thread, and this will upset some people, but I dont really care because the truth is the Word of God IS the answer to the questions raised here!

I read VERY LITTLE about the Word on this thread, just a lot of experiences and feelings. Y'all want to know the truth? 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

How do we receive that from the Lord? By listening to the Holy Spirit! How does the Holy Spirit talk to us? THRU THE WORD OF GOD...

I do believe there are times when God will speak to someone in a dream or a vision. However, I believe it is extremely rare. And I do not believe for a second that He will speak in that way to someone who is not relying on His WORD everyday. If you are not in His Word everyday, studying to show yourself approved… do not expect Him to speak to you in some other way, especially in some kind of mystical way.

All this talk of being tormented by demons, it can happen. But it can not happen to a believer who is truly walking with the Lord and in His Word everyday… praying and seeking His Word.

I think too many Christians give way to much credit to the devil.

Not pointing any fingers at anyone in particular, tho I am sure I’ll get flamed by some. I’m just saying “For those who have ears to hear, let them hear.”

Sorry to quote scripture 3 times. I know it was asked that we not bring scripture into this discussion… but it’s the only standard of truth that we have.


 2011/9/19 9:24

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