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cryinthenite
Member



Joined: 2010/9/22
Posts: 71


 Re:

I have 5 kids that we homeschool and yes we do spank.

Just hang in there, trust the Lord, children belong to the Lord. Mark 10:13,14

 2011/7/7 22:10Profile









 Re:

Quote:
she is 5 years old. She seems to be rebellious & not wanting to follow the Lord.



I agree with everything that Ginny said. You're the parent, and this child is the... well, child. Does a 5 year old resent punishment for bad behavior? You betcha! You hopefully do not think the 5 yr old child will look up at you after being punished and say "Thank you mother for showing me the error of my ways...".

We dont even act that way as adults when God disciplines us!

Here is where a lot of newer parents (and older parents) miss it... every parent thinks THEIR child is exceptionally brilliant, exceptionally good looking and exceptionally athletic. Christian parents are worse because you can throw in there that they think THEIR child is also exceptionally spiritual.

The fact is that at best the average kid is just that: average. They are not all that bright, they look just like their ugly parents, they are clumsy and out of shape... and as far as the spiritual side of things... according to the Bible they are born wretches. The sooner parents get a handle on these facts the easier it will be to "train up a child in the way they should go".

I have 4 boys who I think are exceptional in some areas... and they are. But I also am aware of the fact that they are all exceptionally moronic at times, and everyone of them is exceptionally sinful from the word go. They are nothing but a chip off the ol' block.

At 5 years old your child could very well understand her need for salvation, but I highly doubt it. As such, your child was born a sinner... a God hater... a rebel. Why the shock when she acts as such? Of course you do not allow this behavior, and your chasten her accordingly, but naturally she is going to act just like the person that she is: a wretch. Thats Bible.

And yes, you can have 15 kids and each one will be totally different from all the others. When you have a child who is particularly hard to do deal with... the key is to figure out how to channel those negative traits toward godly things. If you can figure that out, you are on your way!

Oh... and pray pray pray.

I know my words are a bit rough, but I've been around. I've parented for awhile now (not NEARLY as long as Ginny!!), and I've coached youth and high school sports and been involved with youth in other organizations. My words are rough, but true.

Kids are sinners in the first degree. Totally depraved until God does a work of regeneration in their hearts. But until then...

Krispy

 2011/7/8 6:12
mguldner
Member



Joined: 2009/12/4
Posts: 1860
Kansas

 Re:

"I am struggling at the moment with my daughter, she is 5 years old. She seems to be rebellious & not wanting to follow the Lord."

She won't either, children are funny creatures that I have yet to figure out though I once was one. Children are natural being and unfortunately that means their natural state of sin is in them Ie Rebellion and Selfishness. I say this not to discourage you but to encourage you, God will have her, keep praying for her.

I believe something that is SOOO important in raising little ones is this, many times we see Godly parents with ungodly children. Why? because many parents simply teach their children the motions of Christianity, I know that is what I learned. I found this just because I knew how to pray the right way didn't mean I had a relationship with the Father, and just because I read my bible didn't give me a relationship with the Father.

No, it was when I found that I was totally depraved and hellbound that Christ grabbed me from the pit and placed me on Solid Ground and by Faith I now have a relationship with Christ.

I also had a friend who was homeschooled and though it was a godly home as soon as the reigns of his father's authority came off in college my friend went off into the deep end. Mearly teaching our children about God isn't enough but we must introduce our Children to God and as sad as it is the Child has to want to be invited and meet with God, if you are forsing your child into Christianity you are fighting a losing battle. Because though they may submit now when they get older they will rebel with all their might, it's in their nature.

My only suggestion in this is to Love your daughter as I know you do, and though she is young plead with her and teach her and show her what it means to have a relationship with Christ, and this is to say nothing of your character or parenting but Children often play Monkey see, Monkey do.



_________________
Matthew Guldner

 2011/7/8 6:51Profile
savannah
Member



Joined: 2008/10/30
Posts: 1991


 Re: parenting


Go to this link:

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=10206161156

From the above link:

Is the present system of public education Godly or Godless?

Can a Christian remain faithful to God and His law and still send his children to such a system or does this necessarily involve sin?

And why or why not?

The application (or general equity) of the principles enumerated here can often be applied to other areas of life also. Public schools have been singled out because, as the Earl of Athlone (Governor General of Canada from 19401946), said,

'To this day there exists in the world in all classes of society a veritable revolt against Divine Law, the Moral Law, which they strive to eliminate from the education of its youth and government of its nations. Education without religion sooner or later marches to its doom.'

Furthermore, Martin Luther has pointed out the extreme importance of this question, when he stated,

'I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth.'

Also, there is no doubt that the 'public schools have become the established church of secular society.'

Moreover, as evidenced by the words of our LORD in Luke 17:12, this is not an issue to be taken lightly. 'For a church or for parents,' says Rushdoony, 'to have no regard for the fact that their children are receiving a godless education is a mark of apostasy.'

You may also like to read:

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Family/public_schools_are_evil.htm

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=42704

 2011/7/8 9:40Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7464
Mississippi

 Re:

Quote:
We dont even act that way as adults when God disciplines us! Here is where a lot of newer parents (and older parents) miss it... every parent thinks THEIR child is exceptionally brilliant, exceptionally good looking and exceptionally athletic. Christian parents are worse because you can throw in there that they think THEIR child is also exceptionally spiritual. The fact is that at best the average kid is just that: average. They are not all that bright, they look just like their ugly parents, they are clumsy and out of shape... and as far as the spiritual side of things... according to the Bible they are born wretches. The sooner parents get a handle on these facts the easier it will be to "train up a child in the way they should go".



Quote:
Kids are sinners in the first degree. Totally depraved until God does a work of regeneration in their hearts. But until then...



Excellent post, Krispy!

I often wish I would have known 43 years ago when our first child was born what I do now! The older I get the less tolerant I become of childhood foolishness. I am not talking about childlishness; I am talking about rebellion, stubbornness. It resides in the heart of all children - some are just more aggressive in their expression of it. Let me share an incident....

Years ago we took care of our two oldest grands while their dad went off for a vacation. The youngest was 21 months old. He was a whiner that drove all of us C.R.A.Z.Y. - including his two uncles and his grandma and grandpa. We could not please him. It was whine, whine. One day - and I am certain this inspiration came from the LORD - I decided I will no longer tolerate this whining. I put the child into his playpen, set it in the middle of the office and closed the door. I had made sure the child was not hungry, his diaper was dry and that in no way could he harm himself. I decided if he wants to whine, he does not have to do it in my presence. He kept it up for some time. (Now, moms are very keen to sounds, we know when it is normal or not...) Eventually, he quit. I let him be this way for a little while then I went into the room to see how he was doing (in the meantime I did peek in on him, unknown to him). He sat there, looked at me. His eyes met mine, his eyes followed every move I made and so it was for the rest of his stay with us. He was a lovable child and we enjoyed him. But for once he would look at us in the eye. Until this point he acted like he was in a frenzy, refused to look at us in the eyes.

BTW, when his dad returned, he resorted to his manipulation...and his dad had no clue. And the mother? she had died when he was 9 months old.

It takes a ton of inspiration from the Holy Spirit to be able to do the right thing. Too many times we are too busy with life to consider this important aspect of parenting.
Yup, been there done that - made too many mistakes myself....

God bless....


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2011/7/8 11:38Profile
Theophila
Member



Joined: 2007/1/15
Posts: 365


 Re: Homeschooling Families

Dear Sherid,
Everything Miss Ginny and Krispy said.

Somebody [bless them, Lord!] posted a link here on SI to a site I found most helpful. I have a willful 3 year old boy who's learning who's the boss.

He's mostly obedient but every once in a while, he likes to 'push the envelope'. These days, he finds the swift sword of justice waiting on the other side his endeavor! Now, my older friends comment on how much calmer he is! Blessed be God!!

The tract is titled, 'The Christian Mother'. It was written by John Abbot in 1883 [Can you believe it?] on practical help on Godly parenting.

http://www.gracegems.org/19/Abott_mother.htm

I've sent prints to friends with li'l ones too.

I hope you find it helpful too.

Before I read the tract, I thought i was doing a decent job. I was faintly aware my son wasn't as obedient as i should. I was making the grand error of comparing him to other 3 year old boys....bad idea. There is but one standard; the Word of God.

Once my eyes were opened, things have become very different in our household. These days, I'm not anxious about taking him on errands with me because I know he'll do as i say. I couldn't do that before.

There's still hope for your little girl. Your soul must not spare for her crying. She needs to come under discipline....quickly. You can do it. The book has very practical means to aid us, modern mothers, in our quest to raise happy children.

I look forward to hearing your testimony of pervading peace and calm with your girl in the near future.




_________________
Tolu

 2011/7/8 12:07Profile









 Re:

Another truth parents (especially young first time parents) need to wrap their brains around: Newborn infant babies are wretched sinners bent on hating God.

It's their nature according to the apostle Paul.

Thats where you need to start when it come to parenting.

Krispy

 2011/7/8 12:55
carters
Member



Joined: 2011/5/24
Posts: 138
Australia

 Re:

Hi Ginnyrose,

I have just sent you a pm.
Thank you so much for your advice.

In Him


_________________
Mrs Carter

 2011/7/8 15:02Profile
Veronica226
Member



Joined: 2010/2/3
Posts: 144
Montana

 Re: Homeschooling Families

I was also homeschooled. I went to public school in kindergarten and first grade and then my mom pulled me out. That was... 18 years ago I think and the reason she pulled me out is that they were already teaching about homosexuality. My mom nearly went through the roof when she found out. So she pulled me out. I am so grateful she did. Sometimes I resented it because I was so lonely, but I am a better person because of it. And it doesn't even bother me now that I don't have any close friends. My two younger sisters are also homeschooled. Mom's finishing off the last one, who's 15. My mom offered to put us into public highschool and all of us have declined. Just didn't want to go through that.

Now I have a question for those who are older and have homeschooled teenagers. My younger sister is 15 and sometimes she is very rebellious. It has calmed a lot lately, however she is a very good liar and sneaks behind my mom's back and gets music that isn't allowed in the house and looks at things online that she shouldn't be looking at. My mom has confronted her numerous times and it helps, but only for a while. Is it too late? What would some of you do or have done?
As her older sister I feel helpless, except to pray for her. The worldly girls in the youth group are really influencing her with horrid (I mean HORRID) secular music and vampire websites and books, etc. When it got really bad I told my mom to not let her go to youth group for a while, get her away from those influences, but she was sure that it would push my sister farther away.
What would you guys have done? My dad isn't a Christian so he is absolutely out of the picture as far as discipline goes.


_________________
Veronica

 2011/7/10 18:21Profile









 Re:

It's sad, Veronica, but thats where the "church" is at today... altho it's a bit of a misnomer to call it the "church". The true church it is not.

It may be a difficult decision to make but my advise is to RUN from that church. Come out and be seperate. Any church where you have to pull someone out of the youth group because of the satanic influences there... what does that say about that church and it's leadership in general?

Without your dad being on the same page there is really no easy answer. Your sister needs to be regenerated by the saving grace of God. You said you feel helpless to do anything except pray. Well, actually thats the MOST you can do! Prayer is powerful.

Be an example to your sister. Love her. Scold her when she needs it. Talk about the Lord and your love for Him all day long and into the night. Study the scripture in front of her... out in the open. Whether you think she is interested or not, talk to her about what God is teaching you as you study.

Pray that God leads you to a church where the Bible is taught and the other kids your ages really love the Lord and are serious about His Word.

Krispy

 2011/7/11 6:09





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