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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

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rbanks
Member



Joined: 2008/6/19
Posts: 1257


 Re:

Quote:
I have always felt more should be taught on modesty but am thinking maybe this goes to far the other direction.



Wise thinking, for some of the teaching leads to bondage.

Sister we are to be lead by the Holy Spirit and not the wisdom of men.

Paul even said that our faith was not to be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Blessings!

 2011/5/26 23:19Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7428
Mississippi

 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

Ok, I have another question for you males. The title mentions 'pretty' but it not addressed in the lead post or any other subsequent one. So...

Does a godly male appreciate a garment that is pretty? or, does it trip him up as well? In answering this question, maybe the writer needs to explain what he means by 'pretty'.

I look forward to the responses....


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2011/5/27 17:44Profile
iansmith
Member



Joined: 2006/3/22
Posts: 963
Wheaton, IL

 Re:

I'm only commenting because I had an interesting interaction with a young refugee man this afternoon after teaching a bible study.

At the bible study were six young men, one who attends the church that I serve in, three from different churches, and two who are not following Jesus (one is from a family where the grandfather has explicitly forbid anyone from converting to Christianity).

After the bible study we sat around chatting as the host's mother brought in some cold drinks.

I asked one of the other young men about his fellowship which consisted of two refugee families from that community, one from another community and two white families. This group refuses to interact with either of the other Christian communities in the city, even though the one I serve in has seen about forty people put their faith in Jesus in the past two years.

When I asked what differentiated this boy's home fellowship from the other Christian groups he said, "You know earrings... we don't wear earrings." I kid you not! He went on to explain how they taught that men and women should not wear earrings, bracelets and nose-rings.

I then took him on a short trip through the bible, we visited Rebekah in Genesis where it talks about her receiving the nose-ring and bracelets from Abraham's servant, then we trotted over to Exodus where it talks about bond-servants having their ears pierced as a sign of ownership, and talked about how this concept was used in the New Testament, and then I took him to 1 Timothy where the verse in question where I believe they probably get their teaching originates before dropping him smack dab in the book of Galatians.

I hope you can see what I was doing for this young man. We need to read the bible in context--and that goes the same for a certain verse about modesty. Certainly God used Esther's beauty to save the Israelites, can you imagine how the bible might be different if her uncle had wrapped her up in a veil and kept her out of the sight of other men (think Isalm).

Modesty has to be voluntary. Modesty starts first with a pure heart of devotion to Jesus. Modesty is not just dress, but also a lifestyle choice. A modest man or women protects his or her heart, and does not attempt to tempt others. They are aware of others' weaknesses, and therefore are sensitive to how they display themselves.

That doesn't mean though, that a beautiful woman should hide her face. Or that a man with an athletic build should stop working out in order to hide his physique. Ultimately, one can do a lot to keep other people from stumbling, but they are not entirely responsible.

I think about how men in a certain period of English history had lustful thoughts about women's ankles, because that was the only part of their body that they could see.

Islam is an aberrant form of Christianity--think Mormonism with 1400 years to ferment. The teaching of Islam on women have their roots in the early church, but without the grace of the Gospel, nor the example of Jesus' interaction with women, one can see what that is like. For this purpose, it is important that we don't make rules about how women should dress, or we fall into a trap set by Satan. Instead, we should desire true heart-change in both men and women that can only happen through the Gospel of Jesus Christ!


_________________
Ian Smith

 2011/5/27 22:34Profile









 Re:

I agree with all the comments on this thread except for whoever the woman was at the beginning that seemed to be making excuses for women and blaming it on the men. Thats typical though sometimes. I remember 15 yrs ago or so working with a girl in an office situation who flaunted her body and dressed very inappropriately for not just a professional environment, but for ANY environment. And she constantly complained that men gawked at her and that men were perverts. Well duh! I can not imagine that she couldn't make the connection.

It's like a person who is covered in tattoos and then complains that everyone is looking at them.

Now, this does not excuse men either! We have a responsibility before God for our actions and lusts. If there are women in the church who are dressing inappropriately then we must do several things. First, pray for them and pray for ourselves. Second, look away! Third, go to your church leadership and express your concern and make sure you do so in love and not indignation. Fourth, if your church leadership is too spineless to address the situation... then you must leave that church. You're not leaving that church, you are removing yourself from a situation that is causing you to sin. Thats Biblical.

Ladies, let me assure you that we men struggle with lust. Show me a man who claims he doesnt and I will show you a man who also struggles with lying. As God takes us through the process of sanctification in this life He gives us the strength to overcome it more and more... but I do not believe that in this life most men ever gain complate victory. It's literally a thorn in our side put there by the Lord to keep us humble.

Just as it is a man's responsibility before God to pray and seek victory and take measures to avoid lustful thoughts and looks... it is also a woman's responsibility before God to not be a stumbling block. If you dress inappropriately then you too are sinning.

What is inappropriate? Well, thats the thing... everyone has their own opinions. The Lord will have to lead you in that. Fact is with some men you could wear a potato sack that goes all the way to the ankles and they would lust.

I guess what I am saying is that men and women within a church family situation need to be able to work together on this. No, men should not approach a woman other than their wife and tell her she is dressed inappropriately. The Bible speaks about the older women in the church guiding the younger women in their walk with the Lord and with their husbands. If you are an older women... this is your calling, to train the younger women.

The real problem is that this type of mentoring is not happening in the church, and the churches are becoming more and more worldly. Today's church "culture" is more shaped by TV and Hollywood than the Bible, and until THAT gets turned around this will topic will continue to be a problem.

Krispy

 2011/5/29 7:50
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

Quote:
I guess what I am saying is that men and women within a church family situation need to be able to work together on this. No, men should not approach a woman other than their wife and tell her she is dressed inappropriately. The Bible speaks about the older women in the church guiding the younger women in their walk with the Lord and with their husbands. If you are an older women... this is your calling, to train the younger women. The real problem is that this type of mentoring is not happening in the church, and the churches are becoming more and more worldly. Today's church "culture" is more shaped by TV and Hollywood than the Bible, and until THAT gets turned around this will topic will continue to be a problem. Krispy



I can say AMEN to that! Well back Krispy.

God Bless
mj

 2011/5/29 8:15Profile
gazzer
Member



Joined: 2011/4/30
Posts: 99


 Re:

it think we fail to see that a woman who dress to show of any part of her body also has a problem with lust ,and not just the man who seems to be noticing these parts of a woman

and same goes for a man that feels he needs to where somthing to show of his masculinity


you no brothers and sistes , iv never in my life seen a man where a siglet in church ,, for some reason this seems to be inaproprate in the eys of men ,and i would agree ,,,
but we always see woman with siglets on in church even in winter when it is cold

iv hered christan and non christan ladys say that girls only whare this sort of think in winter ,because they want to be look at

this still and issue of lust ,wanting others to look at you body

the stubling block issue arrise when we are talikg about wharing clothes that show parts of our body ,,in the same way when we are around certaint christans we should not drink wine ,or eat meat


pride is allways the cause in theses situation

humily is where modesty lies


just looking at what the world conciders sexy clothing ,shold remind us as confessing bornagain beleievrs ,what we should not be wharing,for we are not of this world ,,or are we of the world
has god realy changed the heart of a person who wants to were a mini skirt to church ,,,,,,,i doubt that verry much

are we new creations in christ ,have old thing truly passed away

does not the holy spirit bare witness with our concence

i relise baby christans dont yet have the full knowlage of good and evil ,as the bible says
but this issue is not just with baby christan

just the command of paull should eventaly convict the concence of sining against the brethern ,and puting a stumbling block in front of the opasite sex


and that goes for men as well ,,

we have men wharing tight little t shirts to church, showing of how much they go to gym ,,,this is tepting to the ladies ,and men should get over them selfs and grow up and act like a man that nows god ,,,but maby the problem is that they dont know god that is why they dont act like they do ,,,puffing up the selfeseem is what it s all about ....you know not many teahers teach about this in there church any more,,,they seem to busy teaching the prosparity gosple and things of the carnal nature ,,,

so you could say the falt doesnt realy ly with the lady in the short skirt and a singlet ,or the boy in the tight te shirt BUT THE PASTER WHO WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

my wife went to a church last sunday ,she said most of the girls were dress in shorts skirts ,even tho it was frezzing cold temperture ,and on the stage there was a girl doing a dance ,that she decribed as a bum dance shaking it like they do on the inaproprate music programes,,,,,she was uterly shocked ,,,,and this was done in a sunday night service ,,,,,,and we all know the scriptures, we know what jesus said ,,anyone who looks on a woman to lust after her has commited ADULTRY WITH HER IN HIS HEART ,,,,,,,,,,,it makes you wonder what spirit is in the pulpit,this was the bigests church and fastest growing church in our town ,with thousads of members,,,,,,,

brothers and sisters the enemy has come in like a flood

let hope the spirit of god lifts up a standerd againsts it as the bible said

 2011/5/31 3:06Profile
savannah
Member



Joined: 2008/10/30
Posts: 1927


 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?



"...sensual or pretty?"

Can't say that I ever recall any men commenting about any women with, "Hey guys, don't you think she looks pretty."

But I can recall plenty of other comments by guys, describing the women using other choice words.

Let's not play stupid.

You'll never see a woman on the street corner dressed in modest apparel.

The motto, "If you're not selling, don't advertise" is a tight fit for this thread.

 2019/6/7 9:45Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7428
Mississippi

 Re:

Mind if share an experience I had last Friday? I had a conversation unlike any ever in my life.

I went to a distant town to buy some produce for our business. The fellow who carried my order to my van commented on how I dressed.

I wear a net head covering and after asking me why and sharing the reasons - symbol of headship, for praying and prophesying - I then mentioned how I Cor. 11 also mentions angels but am not sure how the wearing of a head covering impacts angels. This stranger then proceeded to preach a mini-sermon on headship, rebellious females, lust men have towards women.... BUT he said when you wear that cap we back off - you are untouchable! (Yes, I wore a simple dress I had sewn.)

Hmm.....this testimony made my day, believe it or not!

Sandra


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2019/6/12 23:52Profile
Jstme
Member



Joined: 2019/5/22
Posts: 2


 Re:

Sandra- I love that! Thank you for sharing. That made my day as well. I wore loose clothing while I was a young Christian and even a head scarf in church settings.
But as I aged I felt like there wasnt anything attractive about me to cause anyone to look, but I think I've been seriously wrong in all my reasoning. The poster of this thread brings up a serious and valid topic. If only we women would allow the Word of God to teach us, instead of the world to shape us and pastors also need boldness to speak truth in love. I'm sure these days many may also feel afraid to come off as legalistic.


Jstme


_________________
Onemite

 2019/6/13 0:50Profile
savannah
Member



Joined: 2008/10/30
Posts: 1927


 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?


Some here on SI and on this thread particularly may appreciate this poem I wrote;



Once upon a time 
In a church far away 
There sat six young women 
In the pew one Sunday 

They whispered to each other 
As the preacher preached away 
And after it was over 
They all went their merry way 

The next Sunday they returned 
And did a repeat of the last 
They boasted to some others 
How at church they had a blast 

Now every Sunday morning 
With many many friends 
They make it a tradition 
To go with all the trends 

Their fashion and their pomp 
Is quite a sight to see 
It spread to all the women 
The church has been set free 

The preacher had been silent 
Not wanting to offend 
Now if any one takes notice 
You lose another friend 

Once upon a time 
It was understood 
That preaching wasn't relative 
But rather for our good 

Now everyone agrees 
It would not be polite 
For the preacher to in-sin-u-ate 
That some things just ain't right 

And now the sign upon the church 
Reads come just as you are
All are welcome in this place 
We've even got a bar 

Do not judge us any more 
We all cast in our lot 
If you do you have no love 
A True Christian you are not 

It is growing late you see 
And when this first began 
We couldn't see the consequence
That this would have on man 

Let me live just as I please 
And don't come to my church 
We have freedom can't you see 
Stop being such a lerche 

Everywhere in church-land now 
It's a common sight to see 
The women have no modesty 
They're all dressed like Sandra Dee 

So remember not to criticize 
You might incur their wrath 
Just shut your mouth and go sit down
And follow the new path  - RF

 2019/6/13 6:26Profile





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