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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

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servant101
Member



Joined: 2010/11/11
Posts: 12


 Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

Hello

First of all i must state that i have in the past and still do struggle with sexual lust. That is a story in itself and even though i see some repentance in my life there is still a long way to go for purity to reign in me.

The reason i post this question on a public board is i don't trust my personal opinion due to my own struggles with lust. I could be skewing things in my heart or spirit.

What is appropriate dress in the church, church functions or for Christian women in general? I am aware of the scripture that speaks of inward beauty however i can't help notice women dressing at church functions in a way that seems to be quite sensual. I am speaking of tight form fitting clothes, low cut tops and dresses above the knees, at times mini skirts and the like which bring attention to their curves.

I do not wish to judge these women and i know i am responsible for my own desires in my heart as well as my actions no matter what women wear or act in front of me.

My only question is is this appropriate wear for Christian women in your opinion? I know it is up to the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin and obedience to God's will in our thoughts and actions and i don't wish to try and institute "the law".

I guess i am just wondering if i am way out of line just noticing they way these women dress or if it is all just my sin in my members that needs to die.



 2011/5/26 0:21Profile









 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

"...i know i am responsible for my own desires in my heart as well as my actions no matter what women wear or act in front of me."


This is Good! We can't escape how people dress, so your statement is Good in the Eyes of GOD - Amen!

If should go without saying that a Christian woman should dress Very modestly. Loose fitting cloths should be a must. And nothing like what you've described, that's for sure.
To put a stumbling block before your "Brother in Christ" is sinful on their part and the Pastor of your Church should gently preach on this topic.
Sometimes, people bring unsaved friends to Church with them and what they wear can't be helped - but they'll catch on if the congregation dresses appropriately.
It shouldn't just be 'at Church' neither. Modest dressing should just be a way of life.


But again, congratulations on the part quoted above!!


Your Sister

 2011/5/26 0:46









 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

Men need to be aware that girls & women are not necessarily really aware of what men see or how their attire affects men.They don't "get" the whole "guys are visual" thing. And because (most--there are exceptions to every rule) women aren't ruled by lust themselves they cannot understand the male struggle with it.

Even some of the most attractive women feel that they are ugly or unattractive, and many dress this way to try to make up for this sense of feeling ugly. They feel that their body is all they have to offer because they think their face is ugly. You also have the overweight women who feel ugly in both body AND face so some will try to highlight their breasts or cleavage because that is the last thing THEY feel they have to offer. Girls in general grow up sensing that if they don't have their looks they don't have anything. This continues even into old age.

Modesty in dress should be encouraged but a woman should not be condemned for her "curves"; if a woman has natural curves that God created her with how is this her fault? She would have them no matter what she wore, unless you confine her to a Burka or muslim dresscode, at which point men are still left fantasizing and lusting about having 72 virgins.

 2011/5/26 1:24
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3392
East TN (for now)

 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?


Have you tried fasting? (edited) I shouldn't have said, "tried," that implies it won't work and I know it does! I will start again.. Have you made fasting a part of your Christian lifestyle? (/edit) I have listened to a couple of preachers who believe that the abundance of food and sexual lust go hand in hand in a man (or woman's) life.

So when I say fast, I am talking about fasting from food. If you have never fasted before, start small with one meal (dinner). If one can do that, they have fasted for 18 hours. (Tidbit, if you never have time for lunch, then don't fast your lunch because that won't be much of a denial of your flesh, will it?!!)

Then you can fast up to two meals a day (36 hours) when you get victory over the one meal!! I'm just saying start small because we need victory in our live's to encourage us! And if you start out on a 40 day fast (all three meals), what are the chances of that working out for you (or me)?

Bro David Wilkerson, Derek Prince, and I'm sure a host of other preachers fasted one day a week. For years they have done this, not for a month. In one of David Wilkerson's earlier sermon, I think he said that he also fasted twice a week for a long period of time.

And whatever meal you are fasting, read the Word... do a word study on lust or whatever you want to know more about in the Word of God.

Fasting is the lost art of the church, brother. And never has the church been under more bondage to "things." (edit) See the correlation? (/edit)

Jesus did not say "IF" you fast... no, he said, "WHEN" you fast. I believe He thoroughly expected His Church to have a lifestyle of fasting. Jesus also didn't say, "IF" you pray; He said, "When you pray." Isn't it expected for a Christian to pray?!! He wants us to have a lifestyle of fasting, prayer and giving!

I believe if you (or any Christian) who has problems in their life will begin fasting (denying your flesh for spiritual purposes), they and you will begin to have victory in these areas that have plagued you for years.

God bless you brother!!!
Lisa


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Lisa

 2011/5/26 5:49Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7428
Mississippi

 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

Quote:
My only question is is this appropriate wear for Christian women in your opinion?



No.

Quote:
i can't help notice women dressing at church functions in a way that seems to be quite sensual.



Other females notice it, too. If you want to make a female mad all you have to do is say anything negatively about her dress unless she is walking with the LORD. And most are not.

I am a female and struggle with disgust when one sees such undress. It is worse in the south - I think - then in the midwest. Because of it, I will limit my time in public places...but if one sees it in church, well, you may just have to withdraw and find fellowship where others will support your convictions. Still, if you really do have a serious lust problem, that needs to dealt with and other brothers can help you better then a female can.


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Sandra Miller

 2011/5/26 8:45Profile
DEADn
Member



Joined: 2011/1/12
Posts: 1355
Lakeland FL

 Re: Women's Dress in Church - sensual or pretty?

I think the way women dress in the church does show a lack of wisdom in teaching by the church. I think it stems from society. Women want to dress comfortable and so some will dress a bit loose totally oblivious to how it affects male. I can tell you there is major lack of understanding in this. I tell my wife this all the time. It is easier for a girl to seduce a guy without trying than the other way around.

I know of ladies who dress modestly and carry themselves well as a result. It doesn't necessarily involved wearing long 'garden' dressed but maybe stylish dresses and they still have appeal to them.

I think legalistic dress like some independent churches teacher has good values as well as bad values. It keeps the ladies 'wrapped up' while also tormenting others because it is an issue of understand why and not just because 'the bible says so'. That is a cheap cop out.

I would think if ladies were more understanding of the way they dress they would use more wisdom in dress. After all, ladies are smart aren't they? Smart has to be combined with wisdom in order to be intelligent.


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John

 2011/5/26 8:57Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

Quote:
Other females notice it, too. If you want to make a female mad all you have to do is say anything negatively about her dress unless she is walking with the LORD. And most are not. I am a female and struggle with disgust when one sees such undress. It is worse in the south - I think - then in the midwest. Because of it, I will limit my time in public places...but if one sees it in church, well, you may just have to withdraw and find fellowship where others will support your convictions. Still, if you really do have a serious lust problem, that needs to dealt with and other brothers can help you better then a female can.


________

I agree with what you shared here Ginnyrose and will even go so far as to say that females(sisters in Christ) "should not" be counceling a male on how to deal with lust. This is an area that one brother should go to another brother on.

I know some will say that women don't realize that they are dressing so immodestly and that they have no clue the effects their clothes have on a young man, its not true. Most know exactly what they are doing and that the way they dress draws attention to themselves. They want that attention and have little regard for the stumbling block their behavior causes their brothers in Christ.

God bless and will pray for the OP to find some brothers in Christ to help in this situation.

mj

 2011/5/26 9:20Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7428
Mississippi

 Re:

John,

For the interest of ladies here on SI and others who log in to read, I would like throw out a challenge to the males here on SI to share how they think a female should dress and what constitutes modesty! No debate, just share...:-) This applies to any concerned male, not just John.

ginnyrose


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Sandra Miller

 2011/5/26 10:55Profile
DEADn
Member



Joined: 2011/1/12
Posts: 1355
Lakeland FL

 Re:

I think that any clothing that hugs the body tightly is warning #1. By nature ladies have natural curves and guys take notice of this. Tight clothing accents those curves and invites eyes to watch.

Watch out for skirts because they show the legs and legs can do things to a guys mind.

legs, butt, bust, waistline and the face are the key points on a ladies body.

Dress in loose clothing OR dress in a color/design scheme that causes the eyes to be overwhelmed so that the eyes get tired and look elsewhere.


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John

 2011/5/26 11:43Profile
hoohoou
Member



Joined: 2009/12/11
Posts: 212
Texas

 Re:

Here's my take on the topic. Now days it's very difficult for women to dress modestly and in style. Jeans and a shirt is about it for guys. Can't get too crazy there without being made fun of anyways. It's far more difficult for women. My wife likes to be fashionable and has a hard time finding clothes, blouses in particular, that are not revealing. She typically buys an undershirt thing to go underneath.

I would agree that women know what they're doing, but what they know is limited. They dress a certain way so that men will find them attractive, but I don't think they fully understand the depths that it goes, or the frustration that it can cause to single men trying to live pure.

The thing is, men are supposed to find women attractive. That's the point of why God made them the way He did. So when you see a beautiful woman you want to look, which is natural. It's when you linger that it becomes a problem. When women do wear revealing clothes it makes it difficult not to linger. I think women do need to be careful with what they wear and how much they reveal. Men on the other hand need to understand that just because a woman looks a certain way and you want to look at her doesn't mean she's sinning. Someone once said that sin is a good desire expressed in the wrong way. We all appreciate beauty whether it's mountains, or people. Let's not rush to judge women when it is men that are fighting a natural inclination. And let's not excuse women who would attempt to make that fight nearly impossible.

Just my thoughts.


_________________
Matt Smith

 2011/5/26 12:53Profile





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