| Friends from the past|
I ran into and old friend today from Christian City. We talked for a while,well, she talked, I listened. She bubbled on and on about all of her involvements and activities. She goes to a church that I went to for 6 years. When I left, I felt sad. It made me think of a song by Dan Fogelburg about running into an old girlfriend at the grocery store. He drank a beer with her while they sat in the car and talked. When he left, he knew that she was just someone from his past. He had moved on and they weren't in the same place anymore. That's how I felt with my friend today. It's a melancholy feeling. I'm glad I'm not there anymore, but I feel kind of sad about the people I can't connect with anymore. I wanted to, but I couldn't. God has carried me away from there. It's kind of scary, cause I don't know where I'm going. But I can't go back. You know, like the disciples said, "where else can we go? You alone have the words of life." I'm walking on. Love, Dian.
| 2004/11/18 20:20||Profile|
| Re: Friends from the past|
It is true - we have to count the cost as Christians for following Christ. I know how you feel though. Sometimes it's hard not to focus on what you've lost. [i]But[/i] there [i]is[/i] a future to look forward to and the things God has planned to bring into your life will be nothing compared to what you had to give up. I have to remind myself of that truth whenever I find myself in that place. The thoughts God has towards us are to prosper us, to give us a future and a hope. His thoughts and ways are also way above ours. And He also gives us abundantely, above what we can ask or think!
Maybe, hopefully, that encourages you a bit. Hang in there and take care!
| 2004/11/18 20:28||Profile|
| Re: friends from past|
Dian, I sooooo know what you mean! Even after 3 years, I keep thinking that it will be different when I run into someone from my old Christian City past. Because it's been so long, i catch myself starting to talk to them in my "wilderness" terms, my SI terms :-) , and they just look at me with a blank stare and I have to remind myself that they are still part of Christian City.
But I still try to talk in those non-christian City terms anyway- just like it is normal for every Christian because I think it will hopefully create a hunger or at least a wondering.
The people who I can usually feel free to talk to in the the "Normal Christian life" terms are not usually those who are considered "born again". So weird. And they are interested too- that's the cool thing!
Oh, this came to my mind right away when i read your post. If you ever saw the Matrix movie- it is like you took the red pill (or is the blue pill) and once you take it, you will know the truth but you can't ever go back to not knowing the truth. You will be around all of these people who are still believing the lie, thinking they are living "the life". You will know the truth, but you will only be among the few others who also chose to take the red/blue pill. I so identified with this.
Anyway, I can identify with you. When you have been living a "christian city" life for quite a long time and then all of a sudden you stumble upon the truth ;that it isn't what everyone said it was- it isn't just ask Jesus in your heart, go to church, and have a good time. At that time when the light comes on and you decided, ok, I can take the red pill and know and live the truth or I can take the blue pill and choose to forget this truth, live in denial, and go back to my easy going christian city lifestyle. Been there. So glad I chose the right pill. There were times when I honestly said that I wished i hadn't taken it -"can't I go back and live in my happy go lucky religious life i had before?" Nope.
In His love, chanin
| 2004/11/18 21:44||Profile|
| Flashes of Light|
Chanin, it's so cool that you made reference to the Matrix. My daughter, Micki, and I talk about that alot. I was sharing with her about my old friend and she referred to the movie, also. When we finished talking about that, she told me that she had a strange experience while riding in the car yesterday. She said she had a thought that was like lightning. She said she could see everything so clearly, talking about this new life that God is bringing us into. But, she said, it went away as fast as it came. I told her that this used to happen to me alot when I first began to really study the word and seek God with all my heart. I would have what I called "flashes of Light". It is moments when I have a thought of truth that is so foreign, I know it did not come from inside of me. It's like lightening on a dark night. You can see everything clearly for a split second. Do you all know what I mean? That was the beginning of a complete turning in my life, spiritually. What do you all have to say on these things? Love, Dian.
| 2004/11/19 6:55||Profile|
| Re: Flashes of Light|
Do you all know what I mean? That was the beginning of a complete turning in my life, spiritually. What do you all have to say on these things? Love, Dian.
Well, what I have to say is this: I am so glad that I am not the only one who feels like an "alien" around many "churched" people. I do go to the best church in our area----but even there many times I feel out of place. I told a sister in Christ today, having REAL meaty conversations with professing believers is RARE----either offenses pop up, or you get that glazed over look. I have learned the hard way, there is quite a difference in the "churched" vs. the CHURCH.
I am extremely thankful for those complete "turning" moments that you spoke of Dian, but they are hard. As Chanin said, sometimes I too have found myself wishing I had not taken that "blue pill".......it doesn't make you feel good to "see", yet we know all that the Lord does in us is for His Glory and our good, though it may not feel good-----and that is encouraging to me, even in the times of loneliness/isolation. Blessings in Him, Cindy :-)
| 2004/11/28 23:45||Profile|