| The Dark Guest|
The Dark Guest
Bend my hands and cut them off,
for I have often struck Thee with a wayward will,
when these fingers should embrace Thee by faith.
I am not yet weaned from all created glory,
honour, wisdom, and esteem of others,
for I have a secret motive to eye my name in all I do.
Let me not only speak the word sin, but see the thing itself.
Give me to view a discovered sinfulness,
to know that though my sins are crucified
they are never wholly mortified.
Hatred, malice, ill-will,
vain-glory that hungers for and hunts after
mans approval and applause,
all are crucified, forgive,
but they rise again in my sinful heart.
O my crucified but never wholly mortified sinfulness!
O my life-long damage and daily shame!
O my indwelling and besetting sins!
O the tormenting slavery of a sinful heart!
Destroy, O God, the dark guest within
whose hidden presence makes my life a hell.
Yet Thou hast not left me here without grace;
The cross still stands and meets my needs
in the deepest straits of the soul.
I thank Thee that my remembrance of it
is like Davids sight of Goliaths sword
which preached forth Thy deliverance.
The memory of my great sins, my many temptations, my falls,
bring afresh into my mind the remembrance
of Thy great help, of Thy support from heaven,
of the great grace that saved such a wretch as I am.
There is no treasure so Wonderful
as that continuous experience of Thy grace toward me
which alone can subdue the rising of sin within:
Give me more of it!
| 2011/1/26 0:57||Profile|
| Re: The Dark Guest|
I hear religious minded people say all the time with good intentions. God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it.
My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.
My power is made perfect in your weakness, He says, as we strain under our burden.
Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming, and undeserved grace. - Greg Lucas
| 2011/1/26 8:44||Profile|
| Re: Wrestling With an Angel|
In his book, "Wrestling With an Angel", Greg Lucas writes of his observations regarding his autistic son Jake,
Perhaps this intense observation projects a blinding bias that shades my reality with the hope for the miraculous. But this is not a bad place to be. I am not hoping for the things of God, or the gifts of God, or even the healing of GodI am hoping for the presence of God. And oftentimes His presence is most tangible and observable in the struggling life of my disabled son.
Is it possible that my sons inability to see things as a normal person sees, or his incapability to understand what ordinary people understand, is actually an exceptional ability rather than a disability?
Or could it be that I am the disabled one here? That through my own personal pride and the superficial cares of this world I am calloused to the deeper things of God, deaf to His audible voice, and blind to His very real presence in my life.
I will only discover the answers to these questions in eternity when Jake receives his glorified body, complete with a communicating mind and an articulating tongue. Maybe then we will all discover that disability was actually an exceptional ability to see, taste and understand the secret things of God.
But perhaps the sweetest discovery of all was learning more about the character of my heavenly Father through the struggles of my disabled son. It is one thing to read about His faithfulness, to talk about His mercy, and to write about His grace. But to experience these things face to face requires a heavenly vision that can only be obtained by walking through the suffering of His providence and coming to the realization that the darkness I have experienced is actually the shadowing shelter of my ever-present Father.
It is in this shadow that I have wrestled with an angel until the breaking of today. And even though I now feel beaten and broken from the battle, the limp that carries me away from the sacred place forever reminds me that I have been touched by the hand of the Almighty. And by grace, I have prevailed.
| 2011/1/27 0:58||Profile|