LORD I know you have called me and chosen me to be servant, not a master to your household of faith. As a servant, I deserve nothing, but like Lazarus the crumbs (figuratively, the rejection, criticism, prejudice, loneliness, shame, belittlement, etc) which fell from the rich man table (that which the worldly or selfish nature despises, which is the nature of the Lamb in all purity and holiness).
Lord give me grace like Lazarus, to humbly eat this crumbs of your divine life, with unshakable love ; though they be bitter like the cup of vinegar they gave you at Calvary , they will indeed be a partway to your resurrection Life. These Crumbs led Lazarus to the very bosom of Abraham , and I know you have of a long time ago, gave this very promise to your humble servant Abraham, that you will make out of him mightier heavenly nations, through the faith of obedience, bringing them in that very Bosom (partaking in the promise of the second birth in fullness).
Oh Lord my savior who can hide before you, thou has search me and helped me know a little about what I am without you, but I know because of your love and infinite wisdom, knowing there are yet many things my selfish nature cannot bear, (John16v12) thou as a wise vinedresser, know very well the time to water and the time to prone, the time to bring the south wind of comfort and the time to bring the north wind of trials, temptations, accusation, reprove etc. Oh God without your timing I will have perish in my affliction, but the morning of divine consolation has driven away many a time the night of sorrow and affliction.
Thou with your infinite kindness and love have helped me know to every tear in sowing through death of my old Life, there is reaping of thy resurrection Life and divine consolation. These leaves me amazed in Godly fear and dread and like the psalmist left me wondering in many a times what is man that thou art mindful of him? And the son of man that thou visited him? (psalm 8v4).
And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him [was] called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes [were] as a flame of fire, and on his head [were] many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he [was] clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies [which were] in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on [his] vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God; That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all [men, both] free and bond, both small and great.(Revelation 19v 11-18).
Oh thou Judge of the whole Earth , spare me not , but according to your timing tear me , reprove me, and correct me in your kindness and love , so that I will lose my life to gain your whole Life in fullness. LORD your sword is to make war with the fleshy nations within me in commanding the fouls in the midst of heaven (The message of the holy spirit either directly or through other instruments) to divide that which is of the flesh and that which of the spirit within me. Oh Lord with your infinite mercy command the heavenly birds to eat my fallen fleshy nature, to make me fit to sup with you in eternal union.
Judge all the fallen nature within me, either the evil nature within me that will not submit to servanthood , humility, purity, or endure Criticism , accusation, correction, rejection, reprove (this is the figurative nature of kings, captain, mighty men , men on horses) or the fallen nature of a servant which is the fleshy nature of false humility within me which humility is not base on union with the Savior but tradition and the doctrines I inherited from my self Life(the figurative nature of bond or small men ).
Thou are a God that answers the prayer of the contrite heart. As I prayed these, I belief thou will answer me, though with painful trials. Amen.
james f jarjou
JAMES F JARJOU