Only you and your wife/husband know what has gone on between you, to bring things to the current situation.
In 1 Cor 7, the unbeliever is supposed to find the power of God in the believer so very unpalatable, that they cannot stay. This kind of 'leaving' is what releases the believer from the responsibility of the marriage, but, there are entitlements for the one leaving, which the other must fulfil.
If you are both believers, then God intends reconciliation, UNLESS one of you has been unfaithful, in which case, the innocent party can choose to proceed with divorce, despite repentance and forgivness between you both. (Matt 19)
Without doubt, it is important for believers (in any circumstance) to be open to God's deep searchings of heart, mind and soul. This can be extremely painful.
If you've never watched 'Fireproof' (YouTube), it gives plenty of food for thought in such circumstances, but, it is a limited representation of what is possible, and there are no children involved.
True reconciliation works at heart level and has to be on God's terms for both people. This starts with reconciliation with God, individually, I believe. Being proved to have changed, or to be keeping one's word (like God keeps His), are entirely necessary, but there needs to be a willingness to forgive the moments of failure, if genuinely repented by the one failing (and a reciprocal appreciation of one's own failures requiring equally genuine attention).
Oswald Chambers points out that God forms character in a Christian through the grinding repetition of tiny acts of obedience and the faithful fulfilling of daily chores and duties. It's anything but glamorous. In fact, it's tedious. Also remember, God is trying to make you and your spouse ONE. This implies organic changes on both sides.
It is extremely difficult for a Christian wife to leave a Christian husband, and extremely easy for anyone outside to assume they know enough to 'fix' what went wrong, but if you know in your heart that the marriage must end because of the issues you have not shared (No need to share them here.) you need to keep walking with God, your Father, and let Him lead you out step by step, into a new life without your spouse. Don't take my word for this without hearing from God yourself in a real way, because one day, you will have to answer to Him for the choices you made.
There are rich minings in scripture about marriage in the Old Testament, looking at God's desire to be married to Israel, and in fact, His eventual dying to redeem her in the fulness of time, through the New Covenant.
In spiritual terms, therefore, there is no room for manoeuvre for two genuine Christians. You HAVE to make the changes through God's grace, which enable you to make the marriage function. But, in natural terms, no one spouse can take responsibility for the other spouse's actions or inactions, and these pressures have the potential to bring about an early conclusion, no matter how unwanted it is.
God knows how much pressure a person can stand, and it ought to drive a believer closer to Him, to be more dependent on Him, to praise Him as never before, to thank Him for the glorious effects of His dealings, and to be looking to Him intently for every tiny hopeful change. Just remember that after God sent Moses to Pharoah, to say 'Let my people go', things got a lot worse for the Hebrews before they got better.
The question in 'Fireproof' is: is there nothing about this marriage that you want to save?
So, are you willing to lay down your life for that?
Having been careful not to give away your gender, it may be you have to honour your husband as head, against every natural instict. This is also a killer, but you may find some solace in Paul Washer's messages on the topics of husbands, wives, sons and dating, if you search for them online. The main point he wants to make is exactly the one on which your leading post ended, namely, not voilating scriptural principles. You might like to look for Charo Washer's testimony online, also.
May the Lord give you more grace, and a willingness to question your own assumptions.
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