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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : question about a decision

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 Re:

i kinda' agree with Travis and Ceri.

This comes from experience, however, it's from the opposite end.

Several times, many have been allowed to stay here in this house, when having nowhere else to go or possibly nothing stable to begin establishing a regular lifestyle again. i speak of those being release from correctional fascilities, whatever their crime that caused them to find themselves imprisoned.

The head elder of that church i used to attend repromanded me for it, and it was not nice... (asking him if he knew the meaning of being a whitewashed tomb. He talked about how i should fear for my possessions, my family, and i told him to fear God... and on and on and on it went. Finally, there was a "dust shaking" and their doors closed 6 months later.

This is the same place where another elder got on my case -("what are you doing talking to him?" (distain in his voice))- for going out between Sunday School and the Worship Service to share Jesus with a bum digging for aluminium beer cans in a dumpster. (the fellow accidentally spilled some stale beer on my clothes when one can he retrieved spilled and everybody in the service seemed to act rather strangely towards me from that point foreward).



i am not going to tell you one way or the other, For some it would be fine and others just could not handle it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

First, in prayer, examine yourself. If this intended move is for the sake of others, starting with Jesus... or only towards your own self-interest.

2.) Prayerfully examine intentions and habit patterns of the others involved.

3.) If it is decided to go ahead with it, pre-establish in yourself how you will respond to the various potential situations that stand in opposition to you living faithful to God in His ways...and stick with what has been determined in you beforehand.

4.) If you find yourself in their home, serve Jesus by serving them towards their better interests (namely, the kingdom of God and His salvation in every way posssible). Do nothing that will deter this example.


Whatever you decide, remember you represent Jesus Christ, and as such, there is no room whatsoever towards being a self-righteous hypocritical prig.

Love covers a multitude of sins.
God is Love.


CIAO!
g
Acts 20:32

 2010/5/23 18:43
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7449
Mississippi

 Re:

Miccah, I appreciate your advice on this issue.

Visiting someone vs living with them are two completely different situations. To live with ungogly people will seriously put you at risk for compromise because you will find your convictions challenged at every turn.

My two cents...

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2010/5/23 21:28Profile
learn
Member



Joined: 2008/7/24
Posts: 613


 Re:

John/Bible4life,

Pls do not move in with them. Stay at your parents place or get a small place (if you can).

Some who advise may/may not have read what you have been going through for the past few years. Even, if you are not facing the 'whether you are saved/or not' situation etc, I also would advise you not to move in with them.

When you move in with them, you have to respect their views as you are guests in their house. However, their way of living will be contradictory to what a Christian belives in. This will cause a lot of friction in you and your wife and possibly with them too (which may lead to arguements between both of you and uneasiness between you and your sister in law's family) and also torment in your heart. Also, you may be influenced to be lax on more and more non-Christian things. You will also likely have to hold your tongue and there may be times when they will try to influence/provoke you to their way of thinking/living and believe me, this has the potential to turn into something unpleasant. Also, your wife is a non-Christian. What happens if your wife seeks the help of her sister and sister's boyfriend to sway you to certain non-Christian things that she disagrees with you or try to influence you that Christ is not real or that you don't really have to work that hard to live a godly life. You already have difficulties in your faith at this time, don't put yourself in a worse situation.


With regards to keeping in contact with them, by all means do so. But keeping in contact with them does not mean staying with them under 1 roof when you have the option of not staying with them.

I understand that your mother is not a Christian, however, at least staying with your parents will generally be easier than staying with a sister/sister in law as the bonds between parents and children are usually stronger than between siblings.

Pls I speak from experience and also from what others have shared with me before.


_________________
geraldine

 2010/5/26 17:32Profile
EverestoSama
Member



Joined: 2010/5/17
Posts: 1175


 Re:

Quote:
Visiting someone vs living with them are two completely different situations. To live with ungogly people will seriously put you at risk for compromise because you will find your convictions challenged at every turn.



This is sound advice. It would be wise to heed this.

 2010/5/26 20:32Profile









 Re: question about a decision

Quote:
Would it be sinful for me to move into a home with an unmarried couple?



It's not a sin at all, unless you think it's a sin.

It's totally up to you unless someone gives you divine wisdom.

But if Sister is unsaved, Boyfriend is not either, sounds like a great place to be a living epistles, known and read of all men, but in this case, your Sister and her boyfriend.

They might even get you to babysit their kid, to which you can talk to her/him about Jesus, who knows, all kinds of opportunities.

Look at it this way.

If you go and live in apartment building. You don't know who is living there. Your neighbor could be two gay guys, and across the hall one guy living with two girls and the rest of the building is housing ten unmarried couples, and your the only light these people have.

Your in missionary territory man!

Shine!!

 2010/5/26 21:17









 Re: question about a decision

A close family member recently invited me to his college graduation. Last time we had spoken, he told me that he is an atheist, drug user, and drunkard. He would curse and swear blasphemously if I spoke about Jesus.

Even though it was difficult for me to turn down the invitation, because of my affection for him, it turned into a great opportunity to share the gospel with him in a way that applied directly to his life. I told him that Jesus said it doesn't matter if you gain the whole world and lose your soul so I couldn't come and congratulate him on his education knowing that he will end up in hell if he doesn't ever repent. I also told him repent or perish and that God is reaching out to him and he can have his sins forgiven if he turns to Jesus.

I trust that God will use my refusing the invitation to try to get through to him and I believe it was better for him that I refused to go. Sometimes what is best for someone is not the way we are naturally inclined to treat them, especially because of natural family affection.

Every situation is different, but I thought the similarities might provide some encouragement. God bless you.

 2010/5/26 22:23
Miccah
Member



Joined: 2007/9/13
Posts: 1752
Wisconsin

 Re:

snufalapagus wrote:

-quote- But if Sister is unsaved, Boyfriend is not either, sounds like a great place to be a living epistles, -end quote-

Snuf... seriously? seriously? I had to read this three times before it sunk in. You are telling someome who has questions about his own salvation, to move into a non-believers home... TO BE A GOOD WITNESS???

Frankly this advice may very well lead the whole group of them to hell.


-quote- known and read of all men, but in this case, your Sister and her boyfriend. -end quote-

Philippians 1:15-17 (NKJV)

Some indeed preach Christ even from envy and strife, and some also from goodwill: The former preach Christ from selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my chains; but the latter out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel.


-quote- They might even get you to babysit their kid, to which you can talk to her/him about Jesus, who knows, all kinds of opportunities. - end quote -

Quite possibly the worst advise that I have seen and has no scriptual bearing. You are taking the authority and trust of these parents, who are placing their child in your care, and then you would advise going behind their backs? The ends do not justify the means in this case. Its different if the parents know that you are talking to their kids about the Lord, in this senario, they would not.

What happens when the parents find out what is going on behind closed doors when they are not there? What will their reaction be? What kind of light are you showing these folks by hamstringing them and their children? Not to mention that all your credibility as a Christian would be compromised, and maybe even your place to live.

What happens some day if they did this to your children while you were away, but with a non-Christian religion? You really want to open that door?

Come on man, we are Christians! This advice is what the world would tell people to do.


-quote- Look at it this way.

If you go and live in apartment building. You don't know who is living there. Your neighbor could be two gay guys, and across the hall one guy living with two girls and the rest of the building is housing ten unmarried couples, and your the only light these people have.

Your in missionary territory man!

Shine!! -end quote-

Look at it this way. You will be in the midst of the battlefield. If you are not 100% sure about your salvation and 100% sure and confidant about your beliefs, STAY OUT OF THE BATTLEFIELD, and learn His ways first. If not, your going home in a body bag your first step on the battlefield.


_________________
Christiaan

 2010/5/26 22:54Profile
learn
Member



Joined: 2008/7/24
Posts: 613


 Re:

Bible4life,

Read your earlier reply to others here. You did bring up some good points but you are not ready right now to minister to them when you are currently facing so much problems in your faith right now.

How will it sound to non-Christians when you try to convert them to Christianity when you have difficulties reading the bible because you doubt the bible. How are you going to convince them when you can't even convince yourself. What about the panic/anxiety/devil attacks that you so desperately seek help here and elsewhere 1-2 years ago. Are you still being plagued by them? There are so many problems that you are facing now and have been for some time. Strengthen yourself first in the Lord. You can't help/convince others until God strengthens you first.

I really have to say I'm wondering if this is the devil's ploy to get you to stop focusing on what's important by getting busy with the less important things. Your focus should be on reconciling yourself with God, not on trying to show a good example to others (about Godly things etc) when you are not ready yourself.





_________________
geraldine

 2010/5/27 13:54Profile
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3392
East TN (for now)

 Re: think carefully bible4life



I agree with learn and miccah on this... I know you've shared much about your struggles with them. You do not have to answer these on this forum but please don't take this as a woman teaching you but more from a motherly standpoint, if that's ok.

1. What is pushing you out of your parents house?

2. Why are you even considering moving to another state?

3. What is your wife saying in all this? You say "your wife and you" are considering but truly, who came up with this idea first?

This is what I would tell my son: In the midst of your problems, why are you considering moving away from your church, your church family AND your natural family? Where ever you go... there you are, the same old you.

How much money have you saved living at your parents place? How much money do you think you will save at someone else's place who doesn't handle money as well as your parents?

I truly believe this: A new state and new house partners is NOT the answer.

God bless you as you weigh this out,


_________________
Lisa

 2010/5/27 18:33Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7449
Mississippi

 Re:

I agree with Micaah, learn and Lysa on this issue...

I think I can promise you one thing if you move in with these ungodly people. You will have conflict, the kind you never dreamed before OR you will succumb to their way of life.

I know from personal experiences and other parents will tell you the same thing. If you have a prodigal child living in your home it is like having a devil living there right under your nose who will buck you at every turn. When this child moved out, there was peace...other parents will tell you the same.

I suggest you and your wife get a place of your own and allow Jesus to be the head of your home. And then you be the head of your wife and allow your wife to be your helpmeet.

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2010/5/27 22:26Profile





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