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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : question about a decision

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bible4life
Member



Joined: 2009/1/21
Posts: 1559
Locport, Illinois

 question about a decision

My wife and i have been thinking about moving out lately out of my parents house in illinois and her sister who is about to move into a home in Indiana offered to let us stay till we got on our own feet. Now the problem is this, her sister is moving into the house with her boyfriend and the kid they had together, so their not married not believers either. Would it be sinful for me to move into a home with an unmarried couple? Would i be in a sense making their situation seem okay by living their? I do not believe their married just because they had a kid, yes they had a union but i don't think that is marriage. What do you think i could do, i am seeking wisdom so i don't make a foolish decision, i don't have to move from my parents, this would be a choice of mine and my wives to make. We are not being pushed out. Also another quick question would it be sin to enter their house even to come over to hangout if them or even a believer was living like that unmarried, would that be sin?


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John Beechy

 2010/5/22 20:54Profile









 Re: question about a decision

respectfully i suggest, stay in your parents home, what a blessing that is for you in these times. I assume your parents home is full of love, and good family times. What can be better than that?

it is no sin to love family members right where they are at, the hardest burden is to be "a prophet in one's hometown"....let your marriage be the witness of God's Grace and Love, so as to cause envy, Godly envy in what your sister in law and her son's father see in you both, a model of a loving marriage, may it last forver, in Jesus Name i pray, amen

 2010/5/22 22:10
Ceri
Member



Joined: 2008/10/17
Posts: 113
Notts. England.

 Re: question about a decision

No, it is not a sin to even enter their home - look at how even Jesus was frowned upon for entering the homes and mixing with what was regarded as 'sinful people'

My husband is the only Christian in his family and suffered much when first saved. Recently his mother after 25 years on her own entered a relationship with a lovely man and has moved in with him.
All his family members have lived together before marriage - except us! - we have been the exception here! But I cannot and will not distance myself from his family because they are not living an ideal Christian life, for they are not Christians anyway.
My hubby and I lead by the example of our lives and how we bring up our children.
His family know and will even tell us that our children are so different and there is also a bond of love and respect between us.
After such a sour start to our marriage from his mother because of my Christian background, I have worked hard with her and now experience love from from mum-in-law.
The proudest moment for me was when she told me that she knew it was only my faith had made me the person I am.

Please don't distance yourself from family!


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Ceri Elaine

 2010/5/23 13:49Profile
twayneb
Member



Joined: 2009/4/5
Posts: 1989
Joplin, Missouri

 Re:

I think I have to agree with Ceri. It is not a sin for you to live with your sister and her boyfriend, even though they are not married. On the other hand, I assume they know you don't condone their decision and believe it to be sin? The more critical part of the decision is what the arrangement is going to do to your relationship with them. Two families living under the same roof can be done, but comes with it's own set of unique challenges. All of the pertinent financial and other details need to be well thought out and worked out ahead of time. Don't love their sin, obviously, but love them in spite of their sin.


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Travis

 2010/5/23 14:03Profile
Miccah
Member



Joined: 2007/9/13
Posts: 1752
Wisconsin

 Re:

I would have to take a different stance here.

If you agree to move in with those who are not following the Word, then you are condoning their style of life through your acceptance of thier living conditions.

My older sister wanted to move in with my family a few years back. She is single, no children and never been married. She has a successful career and is doing as the wolrd would say as "very good".

Before agreeing to allow my sister in our home, I said that there are a few rules that are non-negotiable. First, no men over to the home, regardless if it is friendship, dating or such. With small children in my home (4 under 7years old) they would not be able to understand "the dating scene" and there are way to many possibilities of "no good" that can happen by allowing strange men into our home. The other was no drinking in the home. Even though we are not against alcohol, I felt that it would not be a good standard to open up to my children. These are the two main rules. No need to say that she politely refused to live with us.

When it comes to you moving in with someone that you know is living in sin, you need to recognize what affect thier sin may have on your families lives and the amount of compromise of the Word that your willing to live with. Once you start compromising on different subjects of the Word, it is a lot easier to justify compromising on other points of the Word.

Brother. My suggestion is to move into a small 1 bedroom Apt. or studio with your wife. Will it be hard? Will it be expensive? Will you have small to no amounts of money? Will it be close quarters? Most likely yes to all the above. But... you can stay true to the Word of the Lord while you are doing this.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that by moving in with them that you will be a "good witness" of the Lord to them. Trust me when I say that you will be a better witness to them by not condoning their way of life. Also, you can move close to them and spend tons of time with them if you would really like to.

Just think about the witness that you will give when your life mimics the Word of the Lord, and not the ways of the world!

Blessings my friend


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Christiaan

 2010/5/23 14:22Profile
rbanks
Member



Joined: 2008/6/19
Posts: 1257


 Re:

Brother,

The kid is innocent and has nothing to do with mom and dad not being married or saved.

I believe you said they are not believers and this would be temporary. So if you can go there and let your christian life shine and take this as an opportunity to maybe lead them to the Lord.

You love them don't you. They need Jesus and you can show them the Love of Christ. After a period goes by and God forbid that they would reject your witness but if they do, well then you can move out.

It is just a risk you need to pray about and be lead by the Lord.

Blessings brother whatever you decide.

 2010/5/23 14:37Profile
bible4life
Member



Joined: 2009/1/21
Posts: 1559
Locport, Illinois

 Re:

Thank you for all your points, i do agree with you ceri that to distance could have a bad effect and the point you made about Jesus entering a sinners house is a great point. It is sad to tell you the truth because of so many ungodly conversations and things being said and watched on television you have to separate when it comes to those things. I think it would be great to come into any unbelievers home and accept them with love most definitely but that separation from the ungodly things they do i must do. Miccah on the other hand i am in agreement with you as far as the moving in goes, i do think that they need to see my rejection of the ungodly things and lifestyle for the to see Christ, my rejection i think of staying with them till they get married will possibly reveal to them God's holiness and how we want to live holy and honor God, i say that because i knew that already. But thanks for the great points, i do have a brother in the Lord doing the same thing and he would get married right now if he could, so i see him but not all the time. But thank you guys.


_________________
John Beechy

 2010/5/23 15:28Profile
rbanks
Member



Joined: 2008/6/19
Posts: 1257


 Re:

1 Corinthians 5:9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
1 Corinthians 5:10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
1 Corinthians 5:12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1 Corinthians 5:13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

It is appears here to mean that Paul is saying not to keep company with a person who is called a brother if he is still living or goes back to living a sinful lifestyle. Therefore we are to judge them by not keeping company with them showing God’s disapproval. We are reproving those within our fellowship not wanting to bring reproach against Christ.

Those outside are the unbelievers and God is there judge and it is the goodness of God that leads them to repentance. We keep company with them to win them to Christ and for no other reason. We do not fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them by the light of Christ within us.

We can’t witness to the lost if we distance ourselves from them because they are not living right but we can witness to someone who claims to be a brother but not living right if we distance ourselves from them because they are suppose to know better.

This should be taken in account after –
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

This should be carefully followed to those who have been overtaken in a fault.

Just a few thoughts.

 2010/5/23 16:19Profile
Miccah
Member



Joined: 2007/9/13
Posts: 1752
Wisconsin

 Re:

rbanks. Agreed with the verses you posted. Who could argue against such?

But keeping company with someone, and moving into thier home is an entirely different thing. Think about it. They worship something other then the Lord. Is that what you want to bring your family up around, especially if you have a choice in the matter NOT to move in?

We lead a house church. There are unbelievers that attend. My wife and I witness to them through the Word, and through our lives. We have not forsaken the lost. Yet, I would not allow an unsaved person to move in with me and my family at this time. We are in the midst of raising our children and teaching them His ways. Why would I bring someone in, full time, who I know does not share the same love for the Lord as we do? Could the unsaved get saved... yes. But my children could be exposed to the workings of Satan himself from this unbeliever.

So, stay in contact with unbelievers. Reach out to them. Love on them. Be a light in the midst of darkness. But unless the Lord leads you directly, separate when it comes to light and darkness. If the Lord doesn't lead you directly, you may be doing this out of your own selfish gain, and not of the Lords.


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Christiaan

 2010/5/23 16:31Profile
rbanks
Member



Joined: 2008/6/19
Posts: 1257


 Re:

Miccah
quote-
So, stay in contact with unbelievers. Reach out to them. Love on them. Be a light in the midst of darkness. But unless the Lord leads you directly, separate when it comes to light and darkness. If the Lord doesn't lead you directly, you may be doing this out of your own selfish gain, and not of the Lords.
-quote-

Very much agreed my brother!

Only felt to clarify some things

Thanks!

 2010/5/23 16:40Profile





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