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psalm91
Member



Joined: 2009/3/5
Posts: 10


 Re:

Matthew,

Thanks for your input. I don't feel you are judging my husband at all by asking about his salvation. That's one thing I have been thinking of lately as well.

My pastor once asked, "If you were put on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I love that! Here would be some of the evidence to present for my husband's "prosecution":

Church attendance 2ce on Sunday, & Wednesday evening, soul winning every Sat morning, Sunday school teacher, reads the Bible & prays every night with children since they were old enough, reads Bible himself each morning, leads family in prayer each morning before leaving for work, consistently tells others about Christ throughout his work day. Obviously, those could all be argued as works-based.

Now to the contrary: Most of his testimony is about things he knows, as opposed to what he has experienced. It's all about what he does, not what he is. He has no victory over many sins, such as chewing tobacco, cursing, rage, etc., although he did quit drinking, drugs and smoking, which I'm sure he would attribute to the LORD. Other than that, we never talk about conviction or what the LORD has shown us or how He has changed us. He doesn't seem to understand the Christ has done everything for us. He doesn't seem to depend on the LORD, or find joy or satisfaction in Him. He seems to try to find that in change (such as moving), or in circumstances in general.

I don't know....can you be "saved" and just not "surrendered"? I know he's definitely not surrendered.

Thanks again for your input and prayers. This site is such a blessing and encouragement to me!

 2010/5/18 7:58Profile
mguldner
Member



Joined: 2009/12/4
Posts: 1862
Kansas

 Re:

Wow your husband sounds like I was, which takes this to the next step :) Jesus tells a parable of a farmer that sowed some wheat, and while he slept his enemy sowed weeds among this feild, a weed called Darnel, Darnel is a plant that looks, acts, and appears to be wheat but after close examination you can quickly find this plant bears no fruit. When we walk according to the Spirit according to Galatians 5 again "22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

You describing the work that he does reminds me of me in many ways and unfortunately I would have to describe myself as a Pharisee, The Pharisee looked good on the outside as far a religion goes, zealous for the word, prayer, the Law, converting people but kind of as you described had no actual experience with diety. I knew a lot but didn't KNOW a thing.

Since your husband is zealous for religionous things then maybe he would sit down an listen to brother Paul Washer and the message Examine Yourself its what brought me to be Awakened me wicked heart and my true need for Jesus.


_________________
Matthew Guldner

 2010/5/18 8:20Profile
psalm91
Member



Joined: 2009/3/5
Posts: 10


 Re:

I will download that message and share it with him. Your testimony has been a blessing to me; thank you so much and God bless you! Most of all, thanks for your prayers! :)

 2010/5/18 11:03Profile
mguldner
Member



Joined: 2009/12/4
Posts: 1862
Kansas

 Re:

If he does listen to the sermon great! Also I don't know if your husband likes to read but the book Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan was a great aid to maturing me and teaching me what a Christian walk looks like, I picked up the modern english version for about $14.00 on Amazon published by Pure Gold Classics it has a bible study within the book as well. You might consider buying the book for yourself to read I highly recommend it if you like reading in Old english that is what the original is in and what I first read. If you get the Pure Gold classics version you could do the Bible study as a family or as a couple that is what I plan on doing anyways :)


_________________
Matthew Guldner

 2010/5/18 16:35Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

Matthew,
How did you come to the realization that you had a problem?

The situation psalm91 described fits perfectly one I am familiar with except that it is a female. People have given up on her - some will go so far to say she is too old to change, that old people do not change.

This woman made life miserable for others. You did everything you could to not evoke their anger...you were walking on egg shells all the time...

It has also been my observation that when people go into a rage it is as though they are having a fit of insanity. If they are reminded of it afterwards they will deny it happening. Or, if the do remember will attribute this rage to the victim. Lying is the flip side of rage - seen it every time.

What say, Matthew?

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2010/5/18 22:16Profile
mguldner
Member



Joined: 2009/12/4
Posts: 1862
Kansas

 Re:

I came to the realization after I listened to Paul Washer, he talked of a gospel that was foreign to me and about a truth I knew of but didn't know personally. I believe that I started really to change after I started to realize that Sin was a vile poison to not only me but also my family yet became very distressed with the fact that I had no victory over sin.

I think that in time and through grace God can reveal to people their sins not only through His Word but also by the intercession, the example, and the witness of a Christian such as psalm91.

As far as awakening goes from what I have experienced only Christ Jesus can awaken a heart to their sin and lostness for only he is the quickening Spirit. The danger of the Spirit of the Pharisees is the sense of righteousness and right living while ignoring the inward sin such as fits of rage, infact many will try and justify their sin through the word of God instead of letting the Word of God expose them.

This situation doesn't seem to have a quick fix approach or solution which isn't all bad, though we hope for speedy repentance, Psalm91 has a great opportunity to be greater conformed to the image of Christ Jesus. Jesus definitely has His own plan for this situation and His plan is much higher than ours, for Psalm91 I would definitely keep praying, pray in the given example of the Widow demanding justice, everyday until the Judge succombed and gave Justice. The adversery has greatly decieved many and it is our job as Christians to cry for Justice on a spiritual level for not only our loved ones but or enemies. Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, and rulers of the darkness.


_________________
Matthew Guldner

 2010/5/19 1:27Profile
Ceri
Member



Joined: 2008/10/17
Posts: 113
Notts. England.

 Re:

Ginnyrose - with regards this woman please can I recommend a book which is called, just as you describe! - 'stop walking on eggshells' it is of a condition called 'borderline personality disorder'
I was recommended it by my cousin, who is head of nursing for Queensland, as I suffer simular things with my sister.
It is an eye-opener and was such a weight off my shoulders as it gave me something that had a name and was solid that I could fight against.


_________________
Ceri Elaine

 2010/5/19 5:37Profile
psalm91
Member



Joined: 2009/3/5
Posts: 10


 Re:

After reflecting on these posts the last day or so and meditating on all of it before the LORD, it all makes such perfect sense to me now! I have an awesome peace in Him that makes it all well with my soul.

If my husband's true salvation is what is needed (and increasingly I am believing that to be the case), then it is something that only the LORD can do. Praise the LORD, there is no burden on me as I cannot save anyone! I also cannot blame my husband for anything because non-Christians can't be expected to live a Christ-filled life!

Just a few days ago, I felt such despair and confusion! I'm ashamed to admit I struggled with resentment at tiems for my husband's treatment of me and putting me through so many moves and hardships in order to try to satisfy his discontentment.

Yet, from these new realizations, I can't begrudge him, be disappointed in his actions or be angry with him. I must represent Christ with a loving, joyful, surrendered, peaceful spirit that would cause my husband to desire a real relationship with Christ.

Wow! What a difference. Praise God. I would appreciate your continued prayers! :)

 2010/5/19 7:37Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

I find your testimony inspiring, Matthew.

You used a word I find intriguing: justice. Going to have to think about it more and see where it will lead me. Sounds interesting and hopeful at the same time.

Matthew, I have one more idea to float by you. Matthew 18:15-17 teaches how one should confront an erring brother or sister. In my experience and observation this scripture does not work in dealing with this particular issue. The only way I could see it work at all is that when you confront you take someone else along. Do not do it alone. The reason I say it does not work is because this person will fly into a rage and then when you come back will convince the other it was you or will act so pious to render your concern unbelievable. These people are so deceptively charming. (After a while one becomes skeptical of excessive charm.)They will only inflict their rage against family members. To others they are very critical of what they did or didn't do. The reality is that others will sense something wrong but are unable to lay a finger on what it really is. Make sense?

There is one thing I would have to say to psalm91 and that is to not become like your husband. You may start reacting to life in the same manner as he does. Or, you may start reacting in manners that are rooted in the flesh. It may not be as severe, but the temptation to react in the flesh is too strong for you to handle alone.

Ceri, I will check out that book you recommended. Thanks for giving me the recommendation.

Blessings to one and all,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2010/5/19 7:42Profile
psalm91
Member



Joined: 2009/3/5
Posts: 10


 Re:

Advice taken, Ginnyrose. As I stated, I am not blameless and I've struggled with this. By His grace, I will respond in the the Spirit and not the flesh.

I would also like to say publicly, that I am sorry that if it seemed I was judging or criticizing my husband or if my attitude seemed wrong. I really wanted godly counsel for a situation that I felt had become almost unbearable. I used this forum rather than speak to people that know him which I felt would be dishonoring to him. These are things I wouldn't share with my pastor, for instance, because he is very close to my husband. In addition, he would never see this because he doesn't even know how to turn on the computer much less have the ability to find this website or these posts.

 2010/5/19 7:57Profile





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