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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : Lost my way

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MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Lost my way

I have a prayer request or maybe its more like an advice request? I am not sure, I guess I am asking this of some of the sisters who post here on SI. I am really struggling lately, I know this is going to sound dumb, trivial, and really unimportant but I am really struggling with getting older. I know its sin on my part, I know that I am being emotional and probably vanity is in the mix to but I have been just feeling so depressed and I feel like I am sinking in it. My youngest son is not so young any more, and a part of me is just really feeling empty. I keep looking at children who are all almost grown and I wonder where has time gone. I am so angry with myself for even asking about this because I was never going to be this person, I was never going to be that kind of woman that freaks out about getting older or her children growing up and yet I am. I hate it but I am that person.

How do you deal with this, is there some scripture or verse? I really feel like I have lost my way and I don't know how to find it again???

mj

 2010/5/5 23:41Profile
HeartSong
Member



Joined: 2006/9/13
Posts: 3156


 Re: Lost my way

I just focus on what is on the inside - the part that never gets old - the part that likes to sing and jump and dance. While my body may not be able to do all of the things that it used to, my heart certainly can! And then, very soon, we will be set free from this body of death and there will nothing to hold us down. :)

 2010/5/6 0:09Profile
mguldner
Member



Joined: 2009/12/4
Posts: 1860
Kansas

 Re: Lost my way

Here is the verse that I like looking at when I consider getting older, sounds like a great crown to wear to me :)

Proverbs 16:31 NASB "A gray head is a crown of glory;
It is found in the way of righteousness."

I hope that verse brings some kind of comfort to you I know it does me, although there is a better chance I could be bald when I get older :S

God Bless,
Matthew


_________________
Matthew Guldner

 2010/5/6 4:58Profile









 Re: Lost my way

I wanted to post, MJ, [obviously not from the mother/sister side..], but from a believer that has struggled with awful depression; despair. It is possible that you are but focusing your depression inward, and grasping at the familiar melancholy of life...."It's about over, not much is left, and generally I'm a failure."

I'm kind of a professional at this![ I'm laughing.] Let me present some other possibilities; possibilities that may bring to you what the Lord has brought to me, in measure.[ Though I don't see myself as "out of the woods, at all..]

2Corinthians 1 (King James Version)

2 Corinthians 1:1-10
1. Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, unto the church of God which is at Corinth, with all the saints which are in all Achaia:

2. Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

3. Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

4. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

5. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

6. And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.

7. And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.

8. For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:

9. But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

10. Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;

Especially verses 4 and 5; suffering to experience comfort from God's hand, and experiencing Jesus's suffering to partake of His true spiritual ministry. love and comfort...
Isaiah 61:1-3

1. “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2. To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3. To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”


And....so that we might not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.....2Corinthians1:9


It seems tough for now, but hang on and worship Him in the midst. These are just the Holy Spirit's dealings to slay you, in order to acquire your full dependence and devotion; as I see it. I would not say this if I did not taste of your obvious maturity in Christ.


I think He has found your way. God told Abraham;" Take Isaac up and offer him to me.!" It's hard.


"Even though He slay me; YET WILL I WORSHIP HIM!"

 2010/5/6 16:17









 Re: Lost my way

I am probably the last person you'd want to see in this thread, but I have had those times myself. I would think about how time has flown and how that I am getting older and within just a few short years I'll be such and such and age. I always have looked forward to getting older because that meant I would get as far away from my checkered past as possible. I think it has a lot to do with performance.

We look at our track record and we seem to have done nothing in the ways of the kingdom and there is a sense of loss, in a way we are bereaving our spiritual virginity.

Genesis 30:1 And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.

There is in this verse a cry within every believer at some point in our walk that we cry to God, give me souls else I'll die.

We are looking too much at ourselves instead of the goal. We really have lost sight of it. My Mother has a remarkable faith. She knows she is getting older but she seems to be very content and hopes to die before any of her children. She looks great and I never hear her complain about getting older, in fact the other day she said that she is more happier today than all the years before.

One of things she mentioned to me was trusting the Lord. She said some years ago that she came to a place in her walk that she had to completely trust the Lord for everything. She gave it a few days to think about this venture, and finally reached her decision to completely put her trust in Him. She had been saved for many years and would bring the harder things of life to Him when things got difficult, but this time, it was everything regardless if it was big or small, because she realized that even the most mi-nute things, God is most interested in wanting to show Himself strong on our weak behalf.

There is a feeling of despair. What has my life amounted too?

So for us both:

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

I think we need to empty ourselves to the Lord and just let Him know all about it.


 2010/5/6 22:45









 Re:

Quote:
I'm kind of a professional at this![ I'm laughing.] Let me present some other possibilities; possibilities that may bring to you what the Lord has brought to me, in measure.[ Though I don't see myself as "out of the woods, at all..]



Thank you brother Tom for this.

I knew there were others going through this but it's difficult to fan through the posts to know if anyone else is going through it here as well.

I've been going through this for many years now and just as I feel like it's over, I am pulled right back into the vortex. But in that fire Jesus is there.

And you are right, the object of this game is to bring us to a place of death. And believe me, I have no idea how to die. The instruction manual is rather vague.

Here is a song that I like very much:

LET ME LOSE MYSELF AND FIND IT, LORD, IN THEE

Many years I longed for rest, perfect peace within my breast,

And I often sought the Lord alone in tears.

But I would not pay the price, would not make the sacrifice;

So I wandered on and on for many years.

Chorus: Let me lose myself and find it, Lord, in Thee.

May all self be slain, my friends see only Thee.

Though it costs me grief and pain, I will find my life again.

If I lose my self I’ll find it, Lord, in Thee. (end chorus)


Then one day I bowed in prayer, Jesus whispered to me there,

“Take the Cross and follow Me to Calvary.”

Oh, how hard it was to die, and all self to crucify,

Just to lose myself and find it, Lord, in Thee.

Chorus

 2010/5/6 23:16









 Re: Sorrow is better than mirth...

Very beautiful snuf....

"But I would not pay the price, would not make the sacrifice;"

"So I wandered on and on for many years."

Then one day I bowed in prayer, Jesus whispered to me there,

“Take the Cross and follow Me to Calvary.”

I get up, and I go on. I have my moments, but generally I have learned that:

Ecclesiastes 7:3-4

3. "Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

4. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."...and;


Genesis 47:9
So Jacob said to Pharaoh, "The years of my sojourning are one hundred and thirty; few and unpleasant have been the years of my life, nor have they attained the years that my fathers lived during the days of their sojourning."


"Few and sorrowful; few and filled with suffering."

Psalm 126:6
"He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,"

"Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."


We live for heaven; in the heavenly places; but the world is filled with sorrow.

Hebrews 12:2
"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;

who for the joy that was set before him,

endured the cross, despising the shame,

and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."
........................................................

In a measure; so must we. Bless you my dear sister, MaryJane; and I believe that grace will come.





 2010/5/7 22:57
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7449
Mississippi

 Re: Lost my way

MaryJane,

I read the posts on this thread and want to tell you I agree with them. Murray and Tom shared a lot from the Biblical angle so I do not want to repeat what they said.
But where does one start???

When one is young, ambitious, you know exactly how things are to be done to have success. Time comes when you look back and realize your success was not all that remarkable, after all. Not a whole lot better, if any, then those people you thought that could have done better. And you also are experiencing an ebbing of your energies and your three score and ten looms ever so much closer. And what have I accomplished!

You also may have thought that when you get to a certain age you will want to do this and that and for some reason when that time frame arrives you find that your interests in this area have disappeared. As you age you may find that desires can evaporate very fast: it can be here now, so very strong but several days later they are gone. It can get to be so bad that you do not trust your self to promise to do anything!

How do I know all this? This is where I have been and where I am at NOW! Bummer, really!

Know what is wrong with this mindset? It is all focused on 'me'.

Know what I am learning? The reality to think "If the LORD wills I will do this or that." AAhhh...

So, yo have made mistakes? Surprise! we all have. But you know what? you just apologize to the offended and ask the LORD to give you the grace to remedy what you can and start over. Don't keep on making the same dumb mistakes. This requires a renewed sense of a desire to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in everything you do or think. And work on accomplishing it.

Now your body - well, it does want to go south, does it not? Wrinkles set in, hair grays, energy is creeping away and in the meantime AARP has found your address and keeps reminding you of your march to the senior era. The young consider you a fossil and worse yet, old fashioned - someone who has no clue about what life is all about; you want to scream at them but know it won't work.

So what is there left for me to do? My children are almost grown, my nest will be empty and what will I do?

When I got to be in my middle 40s I found my interests evaporating and had to ask the LORD to give me some. He did. In fact he gave me so many that I used to say I need to live to be 200 YO so I can do all I want to do!

I also panicked! Here I was married to this man and I hardly knew him! Up to this point my life was so focused on caring for our children and now that they are gone and it is just him and me!! Well...I took another look at this guy and decided I needed to work more on learning to know him better, and you know what? He loved it! We may look old and wrinkled but I tell you, we know something about romance that the young know little about..:-)

Believe it or not, but when you shift your focus away from what appears to be limitations, you will find a life that gets to be fun, interesting and exciting. To tell you the truth, I would NOT ever want to be 30 YO again! I used to say I love to be in my 60s and still think so but my body screams at me at times - Mr. Arthur has found a place of habitation and I am working hard to evict him.... Your interests change radically. Ask the LORD for direction and he will give it.


God bless you, MaryJane. It is not all that bad - just get through menopause and then you will find life interesting. God is there, too. He still has work for you to do.

This is all I can think of at the moment...take care...

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2010/5/7 23:01Profile
wind_blows
Member



Joined: 2009/1/4
Posts: 353


 Re:

Hey there

I was talking with mj this evening and if you can just keep praying for her. She is really struggling, no appetite, feeling really down(she knows this is sin on her part) and I think she just feels really alone and lost. She mentioned that her husband has been working really long hours, like almost twelve hours a day right for the last few months so I am sure that does not help.

Anyway if you feel led to pray for her.

In Him
Ellie

 2010/5/8 1:49Profile





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