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Discussion Forum : General Topics : RE:Deciding to leave my work to serve God

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waitingone
Member



Joined: 2010/4/22
Posts: 1


 Re: leaving your job

I have never posted on this site so I hope I am responding to the right one. I just wanted to comment on something my wife and I and our children are going through. I will try to be brief:

My wife and I graduated from seminary almost four years ago. Prior to that I spent five years as an undergraduate in bible college. Needless to say, by the time we were through seminary we were spent, burned out, but still seeking the Lord and trusting Him for direction. During this time, after seminary, I gradually became more and more frustrated (I am abridging my experience). I began to really just want a good job to take care of my wife and children. One of the reasons for this, I think, was partly burn out, and partly the fact that we really had to trust God to get us through school. By trust I mean we had no money for rent and we were waiting month to month, at one point, for about 3 mos for God to provide (our rent was 1150.00 a month for a small two bedroom apartment). And there were many other times we had to see God move in order to get through. The point, I guess, is that after seminary that constant trusting, combined with a my heart not really being right in certain ways produced a desire not to have to trust. As many on this site know, our modern ideas of trust are quite shallow and weak. But trusting from a biblical, living, God inspired perspective absolutely kills your flesh. I am tempted to say that it requires your whole being, but that is false. It requires a death; continual killing, dying, and turning away from your own desires. And frankly, it can be draining; Of course, God renews our faith and we look back and see that, amazingly, despite all our doubt and failure, we have actually grown a bit. Anyway, I was burned out and simply wanted a good job so that I could take care of my family and, to be honest, as I have just said in more words than i probably needed, I wanted to get away from the crucified life. I wanted to go my own way a bit. Basically I wanted to be a decent religious person, but the salvation of the lord requires flesh killing trust (faith). Well, the interesting thing is that the lord gave me the job I was seeking. I was comfortable. I was making decent money. I had plenty of time with the family. By this time, we had been out of school for about two years. About 8 months into this "job", that I thought I wanted, God began to stir us up. The conditions surrounding this time are relevant so I will discuss it briefly. About a year prior to getting the "job" I applied to several PhD programs in the US and the UK. Anyone who has ever done it knows it can be a long and some what draining process. Anyway, the one school I really wanted to get into was the University of St Andrews in Scotland. Well, I sent off everything and about a month later I hear from them saying that they did not receive all of the materials they needed to consider my application. Of course, St Andrews is an extremely popular school for theological studies so there was no way they would accept my application without all of the materials. I contact former professors about the letters of recommendation, but I hears nothing in return. I did not pursue it further, and I hears nothing further from St Andrews. Fast forward a year and half. I have now been in my "job" for about four months. Things are going fine, but I am empty. There is a low level discontentment. I believe this is from the Lord. How absolutely wonderful the Lord does not let us go, but keeps us hoping, trusting, and waiting. So, four months into the "job", I get an email from St Andrews University. They have recommended I be admitted into their PhD program at St Mary's College. Well, of course, I was amazed. I couldn't believe it. So I began to think about how to go. How to get to Scotland. At this point, the reality of the money came into focus. It was going to cost an enormous sum of money. We didn't have it. So I stopped thinking about going. Instead, I just sort of settled into my "job". Then a couple of months later God began to stir us up again. I don't know any other way to explain it than that. I felt stirred to believe God, not only that He could provide the money, but that He could enable me to actually complete the degree. More than that though, I knew the Lord was leading me, my wife and I, we were in total agreement, to trust him to fulfill that to which He was calling us. To put it bluntly, and I told my wife this one day after we had decided to wait on the Lord, God was calling me to trust him and deny myself so that He could use me as He desired to bless others. God wanted me to trust Him and live for other people. My wife and I knew the Lord was calling us to trust Him so we said OK. I resigned my position (which was not easy)and we began to wait on the Lord, to see what He would do. We were trusting God to provide an enormous amount of money to go to Scotland. We had no money coming in and no other job lined up. We had no back up plan. We waited, and waited, and waited. Well, the money hasn't come in...yet. And maybe it won't. The fascinating thing is that I don't even want to go to Scotland as much. I don't know that I really want a PhD. Here is what I really want to communicate in all of this; we were waiting and trusting God. We gave away our possessions. We had very clothes. We were literally sitting in a house everyday praying and waiting on the Lord to move. And do you know that the Lord did move, but, and here is the most important point in all of this, He moved us to the last place on earth I wanted to go;...My mother's house. I did not intend for that to be funny at all. We did not ask to go. She offered, and wanted to us to come and stay for a while. It was humiliating. It was the last thing I would have asked for. I was angry. I was confused. I felt abandoned. It has been over a year and a half now since we have been "stuck". We continue to wait on God, and I must also say, during this time of frustration and confusion and discouragement, I have learned more about the true gospel and the way of the cross than I ever did in all of my years in school. I have also learned that I don't like the cross too much. it is painful and difficult and in and of myself I will always run from it if I can, but praise the Lord God is saving me and through my circumstances I am becoming a partaker of His Holiness. Bottom line, if the Lord is leading you to trust Him and leave your job; go for it. Just remember George Meuller's point, that God gives faith for the very purpose of testing it. You will be tested and your family and others will likely disagree with you, if not outright mock you. One of the things that I think about a lot is how much we are prone to Idolatry. We do not really trust the Lord. We have too many ways out. Too many plan B's. Most professing believers, in this country anyway, can not comprehend trusting God in a truly biblical way.

 2010/4/27 23:51Profile









 Re: Trust, instability and faith.

"I have also learned that I don't like the cross too much. it is painful and difficult and in and of myself I will always run from it if I can, but praise the Lord God is saving me and through my circumstances I am becoming a partaker of His Holiness.

"Bottom line, if the Lord is leading you to trust Him and leave your job; go for it. Just remember George Meuller's point, that God gives faith for the very purpose of testing it."


You will be tested and your family and others will likely disagree with you, if not outright mock you. One of the things that I think about a lot is how much we are prone to Idolatry. We do not really trust the Lord. We have too many ways out. Too many plan B's. Most professing believers, in this country anyway, can not comprehend trusting God in a truly biblical way." waiting one.


"GOD GIVES FAITH FOR THE VERY PURPOSE OF TESTING IT."


WOW! Thank you for your most authentic testimony. It ministered to me more than you know. I think it is the instability of walking by faith that creates something in us that cements us into God. He fills in the gaps of our toddling with his strong arm to carry us...but can we believe?


When He reveals Himself as Savior and deliverer over and over, then we become more confident.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New American Standard Bible)

9. "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."



Psalm 9:10
"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."


Thank you. Tom

 2010/4/28 6:06
gmwrick
Member



Joined: 2009/1/25
Posts: 11


 Re:

I am so thankful for everyone's words of encouragement & scripture. I am obviously waiting on the Lord for direction. I know folks in the ministry living hand-to-mouth who get to see God's grace in their lives so often in huge ways. I am obviously going to stay in the word and prayer, waiting on God for his guidance. I believe the bar was higher in the New Testament church than it is today (in terms of committment), but that God is raising that bar, at least in my case, anyway. Believers in America don't usually have to sacrifice much to follow Jesus. I want to always be able to say yes, Lord- no matter what, with my whole heart.

 2010/4/28 18:27Profile





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