| excited and fearful all at once|
So this weekend is my sis in law wedding and I am looking forward to going, but there is also a part of me that is really apprehensive. The wedding will be held at my husbands family ranch and i have not been back there since I left over a year ago. I will be seeing people like his parents, other sisters and brothers that i have not seen since then and I am just really beginning to have all these mixed up emotions about it. A part of me is kind of nervous about old memories and the fact that I know some of these people may not have a real great opinion of me. I know Jase and I are working things out but I know that his older brother still has some issue with me because he considered me a spoiled brat for the way I acted before. In his eyes Jase was a perfect husband and I was the one who was difficult.
Have you ever really looked forward to something but at the same time dreaded it?? That is where I am at...
| 2010/4/20 20:36||Profile|
| Re: excited and fearful all at once|
because he considered me a spoiled brat for the way I acted before. In his eyes Jase was a perfect husband and I was the one who was difficult.
Well....reckon you'll just have to prove him wrong!
Scared and excited all at the same time? I don't remember but it doesn't matter. You will live through it...Just let the love of Jesus shine through you and do not worry about anything.
The wedding sounds wonderful. Wishing you all God's richest Blessings!
| 2010/4/20 21:51||Profile|
| Re: |
thanks for the response. I talked with Jase on the phone this evening and I guess you could say we ended up having our first argument. I asked him if he thought his brother would give me any grief and he said no that he knows that it was his decision to give me another "chance." I took offense at that...I told him it almost sounded as if he maybe agreed just a little bit with his brothers opinion of me? I told him we both had sinned and that I really hope we don't let others cause us to start focusing on the blame game now...anyway I really don't think he should have said he was giving me another "chance" something about that really bothered me. I thought we were getting another chance from God to make this marriage work...
Perhaps this is just the enemy using another tactic to attack my marriage. I don't want to be overly sensitive either
| 2010/4/21 0:03||Profile|
| Re: |
Taking the offense is exactly what Satan likes us to do, I probably would have become defensive about this as well. My wife and I get into little arguments sometimes and I find that generally they can be avoided if one or both of us decides to not take the offense of any statements we make. Do they hurt? Yes, but I look at Jesus as the ultimate example of not taking the offense, people spit on him, beat him, called him every kind of name, mocked him yet in all of this He still went to the Cross to die for those very people not only that but He showed no anger or rebuttable towards these peoples actions. Quite an example.
I am not a marriage counselor at least not yet but it appears as if You are giving Jase another chance as well. The decision to work on your marriage is a Double-edged Sword. It's very possible people from Jase's family will try and bring up the past or even make you made intentionally because of all that happened, but remember the example Jesus so beautifully gave! Also we are told not to Worry about tomorrow for it will worry about itself, give this day to God and it will be a blessing to you and Jase.
| 2010/4/21 2:54||Profile|
| Re: |
May God give you a blessed time and may this be a time of reconciliation both with Jase and with his family. Speaking as a man we say insesitive things that come over the wrong way all the time, try not to read to much into it.
| 2010/4/21 3:52||Profile|
This world is not my home anymore.
| Re: excited and fearful all at once|
I wanted to send this to you, maybe you can listen to it before this weekend.
[b]Spirit-Filled Family[/b] by Zac Poonen
The enemy is definitely trying to throw a wrench into this marriage and shut it down. It won't go anywhere if you're going to take time to get bent out of shape about who takes what percentage in the blame game (no matter who takes 20% of the blame or 80% of the blame), the devil only wins that argument (really, when are we satisfied that they've accepted "enough?" Flesh never is satisfied.).
I like what ginnyrose wrote: "You'll live through it." (huge grin) And you will. This is where you start if you want your marriage to work, right where you are.
And so what if you get looks from Jase's brother, he is protecting his brother, a natural sibling instinct - you're not trying to work out marrying him anyway!! Keep your eyes on Jesus and Jase. Don't look at the waves like Peter did, you know that the God of heaven and earth wants your marriage to work, don't you? Are you going to look to Him or to the people?
Stand tall, breathe deep and living holy to the best of your ability and move forward with Jase!! We are praying for you!
| 2010/4/21 6:37||Profile|
| Re: |
hey good morning everyone
I spent last night praying about things including my own attitude and I come to realize that it does not matter what Jase said or even what his brother thinks...all that matters is I know in my heart who I am now in Christ Jesus. Yeah at one time I was probably a spoiled brat, I was even a control freak but that is not who I am now. If Jase has not seen that yet well I just pray one day he will. It's all good:) This morning I sent Jase a text message and told him I will be out on Thursday to help with any preparation that might still need to be put in place. He called me back, he was surprised to hear from me so soon. He thought for sure we were having our first huge fight and that maybe I had decided not to come. I told him that I did not agree with the things he said but that would never cause me to disappoint Sara or to get so angry that I would not be willing to talk to him. I told him that I just have a different view of things, I don't look at our getting back together as either one of us giving the other a second chance, I told him I see it as God softening both our hearts, working in our lives and Him "giving" us a second chance to save our marriage...all praise and glory go to Him alone! Jase did not say anything after that. He was quiet for a few minutes then I told him I love him and had to go.(I was at work and my break ended) This is how I really feel about this and I am not fearful or worried to go anymore. I am not that same person I use to be and I am not going to let anyone's opinion or the enemy persuade me that I am still that old man...it is no longer I that live but Jesus who lives in me!
Anyhow thanks to everyone for your great responses. I do agree that both men and woman can at times say things with out thinking and I see no profit for myself or my marriage in getting caught up in who is more to blame. I think my initial reaction was because I was hoping Jase would defend me...silly I know but I was hoping he would want to protect and defend me against any verbal attacks. This morning I realize that maybe it was more my "girly heart" then anything else that was wounded and I have repented of that. I know that I don't need anyone to defend me...Jesus has brought me through so much and He will never fail me! I can always depend on HIM:)
| 2010/4/21 12:30||Profile|
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Just wanted to say thank to everyone. I am leaving
in the morning and won't be around to post
for awhile. My husbands place has really limited
| 2010/4/22 1:44||Profile|