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wind_blows Member
Joined: 2009/1/4 Posts: 353
| I have a friend who is in big time trouble | | Hi
I have a friend who is in big trouble. His name is Sean and we have been friends for the last year and a half. He is a christian and like a brother to me. Last Friday he said he needed to talk to me that it was really important. I was in a hurry because Jase was coming in so he said he would email me. I got his email Saturday morning and he is really upset. Apparently he has been dating a girl from his church and there is no easy way to say it, she is pregnant. I was so shocked when he told me. I never thought he would get messed up with that kind of thing, he always seem so on fire for the Lord. He said she is two months along and very frightened. He did bring up abortion(she is considering) but from what he said he does not want her to have one. His girlfriend is only nineteen and just finished high school last year(Sean is twenty two) so she is terrified of what her parents are going to do and how she will handle this? He asked me what I thought he should do? He asked if he should marry her? I don't know what to tell him to do. I know he can not let her get an abortion. I know he has to be a man and take responsibility. I know he has to repent to the Lord. He needs to apologies to her and her parents for allowing this to happen. But should he marry this girl. He did say he is in love with her(not sure how she feels)
Both of these two claim to be Christians and yet this happens, do you think my friend is deceiving himself?
in Him ellie |
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2010/3/31 15:36 | Profile |
| Re: I have a friend who is in big time trouble | | HI Ellie,
I think people do make mistakes in life and this sin is clearly a result of bad decisions. Does it mean he or she is not a Christian? No. But it does warrant a serious look at their lives and perhaps their salvation. I think the most worrying aspect for me would be the fact that she is considering an abortion.
Repentence? Definately, looking at one's spiritual condition? Without question. They may not be saved at all, but that is not a foregone conclusion. As for marriage, I do not think that they should get married based solely on the fact that she is pregnant. They may be unequally yoked, so determining their spiritual status, meaning, determinig whether they are really saved or not would still remain the most important question.........Frank |
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2010/3/31 16:05 | |
sojourner7 Member
Joined: 2007/6/27 Posts: 1573 Omaha, NE
| Re: I have a friend who is in big time trouble | | When you know what is right and needs to be done; failing to do it is sin. Tell him what you know. It is his responsibility to face her parents and offer marriage!! Decisions should be made in light of what's best for the unborn child !! _________________ Martin G. Smith
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2010/3/31 16:28 | Profile |
ginnyrose Member
Joined: 2004/7/7 Posts: 7534 Mississippi
| Re: I have a friend who is in big time trouble | | Ellie,
Sean is in big time trouble - glad he knows it.
Abortion should never, ever be considered an option. Abortion will intensify the regrets Sean will live with if the girl decides to do so. And legally he can't do a thing to stop it if the girl decides to go ahead with it.
May I suggest that a baby is the wrong reason to get married. The couple is starting off on the wrong foot. If a couple marries under these circumstances it will undermine the probability of them ever having a stable marriage and will likely end up in the divorce courts. It is rare that it does not happen this way.
I would strongly urge the girl to adopt the baby out because a baby deserves to be in a two parent home. I suggest she go to Bethany Christian Services for counseling. They are very helpful.
And you better tell Sean in no uncertain terms he better get his mind, spirit, soul cleaned up by the Blood of Jesus and keep his hands off of women!
Blessings, ginnyrose
_________________ Sandra Miller
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2010/3/31 17:12 | Profile |
Heydave Member
Joined: 2008/4/12 Posts: 1306 Hampshire, UK
| Re: | | Although I don't like to jump in a give advise on these types of situations about people I don't know, I find it shocking that it has been said he should not marry the girl.
Who's selfish life are considering here? The boy who now has a child on the way or the girl who's future is now forever changed? Surely it should be the baby and the girl that he should lay his life down for!
As for being unequally yoked, it's a bit late for that! He is already yoked and will always have that tie with both the baby and the girl.
I agree with the previous poster who said:
When you know what is right and needs to be done; failing to do it is sin. Tell him what you know. It is his responsibility to face her parents and offer marriage!! Decisions should be made in light of what's best for the unborn child !!
So I say he should do the decent thing and marry the girl and allow God turn turn this around for them. _________________ Dave
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2010/3/31 17:56 | Profile |
wind_blows Member
Joined: 2009/1/4 Posts: 353
| Re: | | Hi
I went and had tea with my friend and I took Sara fiance(Brad) with me because I did not think that I(a female) should be talking to Sean about all this with out my husband there. It just did not feel right. Anyway Sean is really upset, he was not defensive at all when Brad talked to him. He admitted that he was in sin and that it was his fault for allowing things to get carried away. I asked about his girlfriend, her name is Lori. He said that they had not been dating for a long time only about 6 months but that his feelings for her were very intense from the beginning. Lori did tell Sean that she loved him. He said that they had talked a little about marriage but not in a serious way. Sean does not want her to have an abortion, he asked if I would speak with her(I am going to meet her this evening) Sean said that her dad is really strict and that is why she is so afraid and thinking of getting an abortion. Lori told him her dad will never for give her for this. I think that Sean really wants to marry her and I do think he is broken over this sin, but I am not sure about Lori?? At this point I left Brad to share with Sean, I thought that best. Even though I know Sean and love him like a brother I think it best for him to talk to another guy about some of the struggles he was dealing with that got him to where he is now.
As for marriage Brad did suggest that since that seems to be on Sean heart to marry Lori that they not rush into anything, that they come together and meet with some of the older brothers and sisters at his church for some counseling before making any mistakes. He did tell Sean no matter what even if Lori chooses not to marry him, and she does have the baby he has to commit to being there for that child.
I understand why some say they should get married but having almost had my own marriage end in a divorce I think that they need to pray about this.
Anyhow thanks guys for the help
in Him Ellie |
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2010/3/31 18:45 | Profile |
ginnyrose Member
Joined: 2004/7/7 Posts: 7534 Mississippi
| Re: | | Quote:
"I find it shocking that it has been said he should not marry the girl."
The reason for this counsel is because most people who start out their marriage like this end up in divorce. And that is sin. Marriage is for life, like it or not.
I think the counsel Brad and Ellie are giving is right on. And Biblical.
ginnyrose _________________ Sandra Miller
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2010/3/31 19:29 | Profile |
wind_blows Member
Joined: 2009/1/4 Posts: 353
| Re: | | Hi I did get to meet with Lori and she is really upset. I think she is dealing with a lot of guilt and disapointment in herself. I do believe she loves the Lord and Sean but she is confused. We talked and although the thought of abortion came up after listening to her(Not sure Sean was listening) I do not think she would kill this baby. She is afraid of her parents disapproval. She is worried they will throw her out of the house. I assuried her Sean loves her and he would never let that happen, but even more so the Lord loves her and He would never abandon her. I do think she does want to marry Sean but wants to make sure it not just because of the baby. Sara has a friend who works with young women to help them either keep their babies or help them through the adoption process. We spoke with her and she is a strong Christian she is going with Lori and Sean to talk with her parents later today. Lori seemed to feel more at ease knowing she has real support around her. Brad said that both Lori and Sean have agreed to meet with some of the elders from Sara church also.
I know they started things out wrong and outside of Gods will but I do belive they have made the right choices and still have hope of being a strong family in the Lord. I really think having the body of Christ come together for this couple to help them has made such a difference. They both have strong support around them to help them walk in what the Lord has for them.
In Him |
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2010/4/1 8:59 | Profile |
| Re: | | "I know they started things out wrong and outside of Gods will but I do belive they have made the right choices and still have hope of being a strong family in the Lord. I really think having the body of Christ come together for this couple to help them has made such a difference. They both have strong support around them to help them walk in what the Lord has for them."
Amen Ellie. Let us all pray for this young couple. When I was 16 I got a girl pregnant. I was not a Christian although my mother was a born-again Christian. We were married just a few weeks after our 17th birthdays (she was six weeks older than me) Stephen was born premature, he weighed two pounds and lived for a day and a half. To say that our marriage was tough would be a serious understatement. Yet, I met Jesus when I was 26. He saved our marriage. My wife and I have now been married for 28 years. There is nothing too dificult for Jesus. What is impossible in the world is so possible in Him. When you love Him and serve Him "all things are possible." My testimony is on my website, address below.
I know some may have been surprised by my earlier advice on this young couple as far as marriage is concerned. I truly believe that two wrongs do not make a right, and that to marry someone because they are pregnant may only be adding a second sin to the process. Yet if both these young people are genuinly saved, then their marriage, although it will be difficult, to say the least, will work. It will work because "we can do all things through Him."
Oh my Father in Heaven, today I pray for these young people. May you go before them as they go to their parents. May they find love and support. May critical spirits be blunted by love and may you grant these young people and the baby a future that will honor you as they move forward in repentence and humilty. Oh Lord, you make beauty from the ashes of life. I can testify to that and I do this day. What was viewed as certain destruction, you took pleasure in restoring. Thank you Jesus, today, for not abandoning me and continuing to pursue me despite the fact that I had let you down so badly, where justice was expected, and desired, I found mercy in your loving arms! In the precious name of Jesus I pray today. .........Frank
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2010/4/1 10:07 | |
MaryJane Member
Joined: 2006/7/31 Posts: 3057
| Re: | | Greetings Frank
My testimony is somewhat similar to yours except that I was the one pregnant:) You are right in saying that they have a ruff road ahead of them, but I think that with the love of other believers and Jesus on their side they will be fine. Stories like this make me smile because it just shows what the Lord can do in a life. The world tells us that there is no hope and yet through Jesus we see and know there is always a way, there is always an answer:)
Thank you for sharing Frank God Bless mj |
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2010/4/1 16:13 | Profile |