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Discussion Forum : General Topics : parenting

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MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 parenting

Has there ever been a time when you can look into your child's life now that they are older and see clearly how your own sinful behavior and attitudes with them are now playing out in their life?

How do you share with them when you know the only reason that they struggle in this sin is because of your own sinful choices that you made while raising them?

God bless
mj

 2010/2/19 1:04Profile
KathleenP
Member



Joined: 2008/4/3
Posts: 228
Maine

 Re: parenting

Blessings MaryJane,

I was backslidden for 15 years and cannot begin to expound on what I exposed my sons to during this period of time.

I came back to the Lord in 2001 fully with great need of deliverence from alcohol, smoking, and a myriad of other sins that took over from my error. I feared the worst with my sons having lived with a great sinner.

The Bible promises that He will restore ALL the years that the cankerworm, the palmerworm, and the locust have eaten. I never would have believed, but it is true.

My oldest son was converted after seeing the great change in me as the Lord purged my life. He said that reguardless of the things he saw me do, he knew he was accountable for his own sins. This is the key. He knew he was without excuse.

Although my youngest has not fully bowed his knee, (He's so close) I know that God is faithful and that we must simply keep our eyes on Him. All I could do was repent of my compromise and sin. I knew I couldn't change the damage, but ask that He would continue to correct my wrong ways. Through prayer, your children will follow suit dear sister.

I so hope this is of encouragement MaryJane. May you find consolation that He is a merciful God and will hold you and your family up.

Your sister in Christ, Kathleen


_________________
Kathleen

 2010/2/19 5:19Profile
Ceri
Member



Joined: 2008/10/17
Posts: 113
Notts. England.

 Re: parenting

Kathleen - what a wonderful reply.

That is the key, along with prayer - the life you live now, letting the difference in you and the love of God shine out.
Let your life preach without words!

God calls the individual regardless of upbringing and circumstances - 'he knows those who are is'.

My husband was brought up by a bitter anti-God mother and a womanising jailbird dad - he never had any Christian influence at all - yet he walked into a Church on his own!
Looking back over his life he can now see where the hand of God was always there on his life.

Read also 1 Corinthians 7v14 'for the Christian wife (of the unbeliever) brings holiness to her marriage...otherwise your children would not be holy, but now they are holy'

Paul is saying that the wife who stays commited to a marriage with an unbelieving husband brings holiness to the husband, and such holiness extends also to the children who benefit from the holiness of a Christan parent.

At the end of the day, there is no reason or excuse for your children, they've seen you then - and they see you now - but their responsibility is to their personal response to the call of God on their lives.

I have the same battle with my sister and her children, somedays I cannot find the words to pray, and thinking of the lives that my nephews and niece are living now, is just too painful for me to even pray about on times, and all I can muster in my prayers is 'Lord just honour and answer all the prayers and tears of my mam, I cannot carry this burden'

Yet thanks to God - there is a redeemer!
when Job was at his lowest ebb he exclaimed "I know that my redeemer liveth!"
When Naomi had lost everything and returned to Bethlehem with Ruth - There was the Redeemer!
God is in the business of Restoration! He will be reaching out to your children regardless of the life you have lived in the past. Keep persevering in prayer no matter how rough it gets - if they appear to get worse as you pray, that is a good sign because it shows they are fighting the conviction from God - so don't give up!


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Ceri Elaine

 2010/2/19 7:30Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

Thank you both Kathleen and Ceri

My son is overweight and it is my fault.When he was little I over indulged him with food. When he was fussy I gave him treats to behave, when he was sad I bought ice cream to cheer him up, when he was bored we would bake cookies. I made food the answer to everything for him and now he struggles with his weight. I know how hard it is for him because for a long time I used food as a way to cope with life's struggles and hurts. I have had sin issues with bulimia and body image struggles for a long time. Before I was saved I always turned to food and sadly I passed that sinful attitude on to my son. After I got saved I repented and I shared with him how sorry I was for always giving into his desire for food instead of being a good mom and holding fast. I know he is an adult and he has to make his own choices now but it does not lessen the sadness I feel when I watch him struggle with his weight and I know it is because of my own past sin that he is in the place he is in. My son has a huge heart, he has told me so many times that he knows this is his own fault because he is the one responsible for the choices he makes today. Recently he has begun to have some health issue with his gall bladder due to his weight so it just brings it all home for me again.

If you feel led please pray for my son to die to his love of food and to really see how vitally important it is for him to turn to Jesus in this once and for all. I know all to well that he will never be able to over come this sin until he fully surrenders to Jesus with it all. I think it really is one of the most difficult addictive sinful behaviors to overcome because unlike drugs or alcohol you can not stop eating completely.

God Bless
mj






 2010/2/19 12:50Profile
KathleenP
Member



Joined: 2008/4/3
Posts: 228
Maine

 Re:

Ceri and MaryJane,

Ceri, what a wonderful testimony! I could sit and listen to people's meeting up with God stories all the time. How much more encouraging than doctrinal arguments.:)

MaryJane, I have struggled ALL my life with food. I still have great struggles with it although I am normal in size. I have an extremely physical job which helps keep it in control and the Lord knows how often I've prayed concerning this.

I do know one thing dear sister, He still loves me despite this and so He loves you and your son as well. I have a blessed Christian brother who is still overweight but I honestly don't notice it because he is so pure of heart. I do believe that what comes out of our mouths is worse than what goes in. When I am around a self righteous soul that has never struggled with bulimia etc, they are more offensive to me than a humble servant who is filled with love.

MaryJane, I so pray that you will lay this burden down sister. If you were blind, would your son's problem be such an issue? Please don't fret about this or be too hard on yourself. We can't correct others and I think your son has even tried to assure you that it isn't your fault. I will pray that you will have peace concerning this and relax a little and know that the Lord knows the whole situation and simply wants you to trust Him. I have come to that place myself because I really do like to eat, and I have prayed about this same thing so many times. I envy folks that can "take it or leave it" when it comes to eating, but who knows what they struggle with and seek mercy about. Amen?

God bless you ladies. I am on facebook if you'd like to fellowship. I know how some feel about it, but I use it as an avenue to share Jesus, just like everything else in my life.

In Christ Jesus (P.S. you can find me under Kathleen Panno there)


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Kathleen

 2010/2/19 17:08Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

Thank you Kathleen for your kind and thoughtful response. I know that the Lord has forgiven me. Its just difficult to see the consequences of my sinful choices and how they have effected my son. His health being affected is hard. We had a really good discussion and I think he is really ready to lay this down at the cross and to walk in obedience to the Lord.

Seeing my son struggle really brings home that much more to me that my sin, my choices don't just effect me, they effect those around me, the ones I love. I am so thankful that the Lord has given me the strength to see things in light of His will and that He sustains me through out the day to walk it out.

Thank you again
God Bless
maryjane

 2010/2/20 1:03Profile





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