Hi.. Yes, I lost faith in Jesus and came back. I never doubted that God created all things, but I really struggled with the idea that Jesus was the only begotten son of God, sent to Earth to redeem us by paying with his blood, for our sins.I professed to be Christian, but didn't really believe in Jesus. Eventually, I came to believe as many do, that Jesus was just a new face on an old pagan god.
But, in tears one night, I prayed to God to help me find the truth.. no matter what it was, I just wanted to know what was truth. I started learning about pagan gods, only to see that all I had been hearing about the similairities were really just a bunch of hooey, I searched to see if there was credible evidence that Jesus really existed, I examined my own nature, questioning whether or not I could see any way that men (the apostles) would have insisted, even at the cost of their own lives, that Jesus had in fact shown himself to them AFTER being dead and buried, and the idea that they would die for a lie was just unfounded, in my opinion.
I started to learn what does the nature of sin really mean, what does love really mean, what does free will really mean.. What is God's nature, and does the idea of a savior even make any sense..
Well, it all started to come together, and one night I went to sleep and had a dream.. lasted only a matter of seconds.. in the dream, a limousine pulled up next to me, the door opened, in the back seat of a car was this woman who had such a look of joy on her face, she was dressed in white, a wedding gown, holding a bouquet.. she reached out her hand to me and pulled me into the back of the car with her, saying, let's go to the wedding. ... well, it's the only time I ever had a dream that I felt was a message from God, and I believed it was telling me that I was on the right path to finding the truth..
Since then, I have a much different view of Jesus, of the Bible, of love, of sin, of freedom from guilt, etc. It's not an easy path, but I think that God will help you find the truth, even if it takes a little while for you to find it.
|