THAT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!!! At first, your rebuking scathed me a little bit, and I didn't much like it, but I did as you commmanded and prayed really hard, I wept about what I didn't understand at first, and once I felt a sense of peace and an urging, I've returned to read your post a second time in prayer Brother Logic, and IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!!! This confusion and anxiety ARE NOT excuses for my backsliding, because they ARE tribulations which produce PATIENCE! In my tribulations, I have a choice, backslide, or pray! Do you realize what you just did?! Do you realize what you made me realize, what Jesus has made me realize through you!? That I haven't been choosing Him as much as I should've, which is choosing Him always?! I then take full responsibility, because I DIDN'T CHOOSE JESUS! I pray that He forgives me!
Part of my thought life was still spent in TV. I limited my TV watching since I started my Christian walk, but I didn't realize that it was still such a plague. I must abandon it!
Thank you so much also for explaining the "hate" comparison, that it's not "hate your parents", rather love Jesus more than your parents and family and everything else! It's not as easy as it sounds, but I love Him.
I love Jesus with all my heart, I care about being saved. I could've chose to not come here, to not be rebuked, but it's exactly what I wanted, what I needed. Like I said, at first I didn't like it, but the second time, in prayer, it's like a lightbulb went off in my head, showing me that yes, my backsliding was my fault! Is Jesus revealing to me the understanding about the truths that you had written to me above this second time around? It sure feels like it. Right now, it feels like I could care less about anything else in the world other than Jesus. I'm going to pray that I remain like how I feel right now, happy and content in Him.
May God bless you Brother Logic, and also to the rest of my Brothers and Sisters for their love and encouragement and support.