I have read the entire thread, and your RE: anonymity. I do think your candor is refreshing, and I appreciate your transparency; I think that this is vastly important for the church to address. I quote the Lord Jesus Himself in Matthew 24:
"Therefore when you see the ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION which was spoken of through Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place let the reader understand,
16. then those who are in Judea must flee to the mountains.
17. "Whoever is on the housetop must not go down to get the things out that are in his house.
18. "Whoever is in the field must not turn back to get his cloak.
19. "But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!
Granted, this is addressed to Judea.
"But pray that your flight will not be in the winter, or on a Sabbath.
21. "For then there will be a great tribulation, such as has not occurred since the beginning of the world until now, nor ever will.
22. "Unless those days had been cut short, no life would have been saved; but for the sake of the elect those days will be cut short.
"SUCH AS NOT OCCURED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE WORLD, UNTIL NOW!"...even to the extent that no life would be saved, unless those days would be "cut short."
and..."Woe unto those who are pregnant,and to those nursing babies "IN THOSE DAYS!"
It is good that you are considering marriage under these solemn warnings by our Lord. I believe, as many , that we are indeed entering into the final days, and the Great Tribulation soon. We ought to consider the consequences of bringing children into this world.
Yet, I think that there is another side, on a personal level that needs to be addressed. When you marry, the bible says that your body is not your own;...1 Corinthians 7-
3. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
First, "Birth Control", via "the Pill", is a very modern invention, which probably , aside from it's moral implications, has many negative side affects. Breast Cancer and ovarian cancer are epidemic in our population, along with much menstrual irregularities. Is this what you want for your wife?
Paul stated that his desire was that the younger widows was; 1 TIM 5: 14:
"Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.
Women have a Godly nature to bear children, and is a dominant part of their femininity. Young girls at 2 and 3 years old play house, and hold their dollies as mommy does her children. Paul, as the apostle ; messenger of the Lord, said his desire is that they, the widows, would "BEAR CHILDREN".
You seem to believe that you can go into marriage with everything tightly bound within your fist, and release it as you see fit. Love does not work that way, and for sure, either does a marriage. You may choose whether or not to be married, for sure, but to choose whether or not you have children is something that ought to be left in God's hands, in my opinion. Children are a great blessing, and the Lord's desire still is, "Be fruitful, and Multiply!"
[ Some say the ONLY commandment in the Earth that was obeyed with a whole heart...]
The Bible also says NOT to "Defraud one another", pointing directly toward this situation. Would your wife to be, actually be in agreement with such a life?...[ It's another thing altogether if one were barren. ]
I submit these things for your consideration. Marriage is a good life, yes, but it is a good tool for death unto yourself, too. You are constantly being confronted with love, which is always sacrificial somewhere down the line. We must lay our lives down, to learn how to love, and it doesn't always go our way, no matter how noble our intentions may be.