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ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7471
Mississippi

 The Case for Early Marriage

The other day in "Christianity Today's" newsletter this long article, "The Case for Early Marriage" appeared. I would encourage all to read it. It can be found here: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/august/16.22.html

The writer makes the case that while churches promote chastity, they also discourage marriage until a later age, not until one is financially more stable, more mature, etc. But he is suggesting that by doing so, subjects young people to greater temptations because of the strong urge to mate at such a youthful age.

Many years ago this same magazine printed a similar article but that time the issue was "why do the young today mature at a younger age?" It was noted that girls begin menarche at a much younger age then their grandmothers did thus making them deal with the urge to mate at a younger age. Why is this happening? When this is the case the temptation to remain pure becomes much more difficult. Couple this with the trend to marry at an older age and you have a volatile situation. And they suggested [then] that culture has imposed a serious moral dilemma upon its youth.

I read this article and was deeply impressed and got me to think seriously....so the next time the ladies at our church got together, I asked the older mothers at what age menarche appeared for them? The responses were astonishing, no, it confirmed the article! They said 17, another said 15 and this was considered young back then. (Most of these sisters were born in the early 1900s, before 1910.) Then soon after menarche set in, they married. Now these females were capable of reproducing and they could find the outlet to mate in marriage. This was the culture and it worked.

The question is asked, "why do girls mature earlier today then in ages past?" The older article suggested the exposure to artificial light will hasten maturation, giving the examle of horsemen who will expose their animals to longer periods of light to hasten their maturation. When this idea was run by some local farmers they concurred.

While moderns wrestle with moral purity, especially the very young, is it because of our materialistic lifestyle that we have imposed upon the young such a grave moral dilemma, fighting against nature and then forbidding them marry until they are older?

The argument of waiting until finances are in order points to a radical shift in modern culture how males were trained to provide for themselves as well. It used to start when they were very young. Dad would give his sons some pigs, calves, fowl to raise and perhaps a few acres of land in which to produce a crop and then the proceeds were sold - at a young age. By the time a fellow reached 20 he had a fair amount of money to begin housekeeping, although many young couples back then moved in with mom and dad until a house could be readied for their habitation.

Today I see little girls maturing and I grieve. Interestingly, other older mothers notice this as well and are alarmed...

I shared this with the idea to stimulate your minds and perhaps discussion....

Blessings,
ginnyrose




_________________
Sandra Miller

 2009/8/10 9:37Profile
PaulWest
Member



Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re: The Case for Early Marriage

This is the best book I've found on the subject Ginnyrose has brought up. It is balanced and brimming with wisdom. I recommend everyone who is considering marriage - or who already is married - to give it a read. There's a chapter written by Zac Poonen's wife Annie especially for young women.

[img]http://www.cfcindia.com/web/books/zac/pictures/slm.jpg[/img]

[url=http://www.cfcindia.com/web/books/zac/sex_love_and_marriage.html]The book[/url]


_________________
Paul Frederick West

 2009/8/10 9:50Profile









 Re:

I think there is much wisdom in what Ginny wrote. The church has followed the culture in many areas, including this... and what do we have to show for it? Not much.

Krispy

 2009/8/11 15:49









 Re:

My wife and I are both 19 and we've been married for almost 1 1/2 years now. Definetely think that young people should more often be marrying than waiting until their older.

 2009/8/11 19:32
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7471
Mississippi

 Re:

Quote by paulmcg:
"My wife and I are both 19 and we've been married for almost 1 1/2 years now. Definitely think that young people should more often be marrying than waiting until their older."

The advantage of marrying young is that young folks are not as set in their ways as older adults which will make the blending of these personalities easier UNLESS both act like spoiled brats who whine and nag to get their own way. But then older adults do the same.

The disadvantage of marrying younger is that the surrounding culture does not support it. If a couple does marry young and all of their friends are still footloose partying they could feel like they are being deprived unnecessarily. They will not have any mutual friends for mutual fun and support. This is where popular culture is. And at the same time their friends are living like husband and wife without benefit of clergy which is damming to their souls.

Yes, marrying younger would require some major shift in thinking about marriage. It would also require the parents of the couple to become actively involved in seeing this marriage succeed, something I would guess most couples would not appreciate.

Yet, modern life has seriously damaged the human body, subjecting it to temptations the mind is not mature enough to handle...and what can the modern parent do to counteract this? Hard question, IMHO...

For once I am glad I am as old as I am...makes my growing aches seem so trivial in comparison. On the other hand Scripture also informs us that where sin abounds, grace did much more, so the situation is not hopeless.

Blessings,
ginnyrose




_________________
Sandra Miller

 2009/8/11 21:32Profile
PreachParsly
Member



Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164
Arkansas

 Re:

Thanks for the link. I enjoyed reading it. He brought up a few things that I haven't heard before.


_________________
Josh Parsley

 2009/8/11 21:32Profile









 Re:

To add to your discussion....

Al Mohler addressed this article on his radio program on August 3, http://www.albertmohler.com/radio_show.php?cdate=2009-08-03

Interesting topic...

Ginny, in your little community do you see any issues of delaying marriage amongst the conservative youth that you know?

 2009/8/11 23:35
rainydaygirl
Member



Joined: 2008/10/27
Posts: 742


 Re:

ginnyrose
If I am completely honest, I am not sure what I think about this article yet:-) I got married when I was very young and it has been very difficult at times for us both. There are occasions when I wish that both my husband and myself had more time to grow and mature in Christ before we entered into marriage. A lot can be said for having that time when it is just you and the Lord, before your attention is divided?(hope that makes some sense)

thanks for sharing
rdg

 2009/8/12 0:40Profile
anonymity
Member



Joined: 2009/1/16
Posts: 393


 Re:

This is an interesting topic.

I mean I think of cultures like even in Islamic Nation or maybe Catholic in which they have held to their older culture. In doing this in many ways they have preserved good. One example is that men will hold hands as friends and not be weary of any homosexual things.

However, it would seem that in the US we have had counter culture movements. It tells us in Scripture that things will get worse as the last days come upon us. I think that the state of the US in changing compared to the preserved cultures of other places are telling.

I often wonder if the big cities of the US and what not are not what God wants. In that he destroyed the tower of Babel and told men to disperse and multiply.

I wonder if Christians should be in cities, but I guess it is a calling. It is a hard topic for me this whole city thing in that cities often seem to bring help economically, yet at the same time you see what happens to the morality in the area.

One of the wildest things is how the US is supposed to be a Christian nation and yet it is the most immoral of all in many ways. For instance some countries will not allow immoral things on the internet ect. Sometimes these nations will not even believe in God at all nor have any fear of God, but just the law written in them. Of how much more then are we who have both the knowledge of God and the law written in us to be.

So, here is what I was thinking. Maybe people are to marry as soon as thing are able to function physically in that way (this is just a thought)?

I mean the culture just in so many ways seems ridiculous. It often thinks that youth are treated like children til they are 18. I mean should men and women not be treated like adults as soon as they are 14 or something. It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth.

I see this in the South American culture. Men are trained to be working from a young age.

One thought though is that we are not grown in our personalities and so therefore do not know what we want in life and so not in a partner. I would answer though. Well, if your a Christian and not so confused in the dark then you know what you want according to scripture.

We just in America have it so much better then many and so we are not pressed with many things. So therefore we act differently. We put up our noses at many things because we do not know the harshities of other places.

As for myself though as a single person who seeks to zealously serve God. It is really hard to find a woman that would meet your requirements. Also, as a man who was not raised Christian it took me years to have my mind renewed and so might have been better for me to hold off.

But yes, this article I would say is good. There are pros and cons to it and as with all things you can go to an extreme this way or that. He who is slow to anger is great in understanding.

I was also thinking about parents choosing your mate for you. Wondering if it were right or wrong. I know that there were many different things that went in to play in certain situations though. For instance to marry into a certain family was like moving up in a caste system or something in prestige so it was more of a business thing. Again the US would not often consider this as they do not always function in families and are not always apt to care about financial things as much as other things. Also, if you had good and godly parents you would trust them to bring you the right person for they were wise and mature and ect. The same thing happens often today where a parent will tell their child whether or not they like the person and the child will take it to heart. So, I'm not really sure what I think about this since there are so many things to consider and specifics in culture that I may be unaware of and so am patient to come to a conclusion.

 2009/8/12 1:46Profile









 Re: The Case for Early Marriage

"The question is asked, "why do girls mature earlier today then in ages past?" The older article suggested the exposure to artificial light will hasten maturation, giving the examle of horsemen who will expose their animals to longer periods of light to hasten their maturation. When this idea was run by some local farmers they concurred." ginnyrose

I read somewhere that the hormones that they now give cows, pigs, chickens, etc... to fatten them up have led to earlier maturity in kids. Since farms have become more industrialized and scientifically savvy, it's more economical to induce their products in a less 'organic' way. I'm no expert on any of this stuff but I came across it in an article and my wifes's sister-in-law is up on all that stuff. She has always fed her kids food without hormones and knows what things to buy etc... I will say from observation that her kids look much less physically mature than other kids their age. I have a nephew the same age as one of her boys (both 13) and the disparity in physical maturity is simply amazing. My sister doesn't go as far as my wife's in-law with the meats and her son looks more like he's 16 than 13. And my wife's nephew on the other side looks more like 11 than 13. Both sets of parents are similar in physical size so there's no natural disparity there. I know that naturally some kids mature faster but I've always wondered why my wife's nieces and nephews seem to be a little behind physically. My gut is that there is something to this.

This is all very interesting.

 2009/8/12 10:20





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