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butterflies
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Joined: 2004/8/17
Posts: 20


 Intro to Butterflies.

Hello everyone,

My name is Jennifer and I'm 30 years old and live in Kentucky. I've been in the dark for the last 30 years of my life even though I was saved when I was 19 years old. I was way to self reliant and self-directed to truly see the light of Jesus Christ that was ever before me, even when I couldn't see it. The Lord began to reveal a purpose in me when I was 27 years old. I'll never forget the date, it was November 24, 2002, the very date that my grandfather died so many years earlier. God revealed to me that I was using food as an idol which made me a glutton. It was so hard to face that fact, I thought I was the perfect Christian, as long as I read my Bible and knew that Jesus Christ died for me I was going to heaven. God knocked me down off the pedastal that I placed "self" on and placed Himself there. He told me, "Jennifer, you are an idolator and glutton. You have turned your back on me countless times and never heeded my voice. Turn away from your idols and back to me, or I will destroy you in my own time and my own way."

I have a history of turning my back on the Lord where I needed Him most. Whenever someone said an unkind word I ran to food. Whenever a situation came up that I couldn't handle I ran to food. When I was in high school and the kids were unmerciful to me I chose food. I kept choosing food over the comfort of the Lord. God would show me subtley that He wanted to be my comforter. At age 15, a friend of mine transferred to another high school. I wanted so badly to transfer there to be with him, turned out when I got there I knew it wasn't the place for me. I recount several tears in bed offered up to God, I begged Him to let me go back to the old school. The next day, by a miracle my aunt called and said she worked by the school and if I ever needed to get there she would take and bring me home. My mother agreed and enrolled me again. God showed me that I was beloved of Him, but yet other times after that I still chose food over Him. My uncle got sick, had a heart problem. I turned to God in intercession for my uncle. God healed Him and he lived! Yet, the other times I needed the Lord I ran to food. You would think at this point God wanting to use me for something better would have hit me? I would have seen His power and miracles? I was so foolish, I had a veil over my head, eyes, and heart.

As I got older my foolishness grew. When I was 26 years old, in 1998, a company came into town that offered customer service for computer companies. I prayed hard for at least three months, begging God to let me have a job with them. When the company came into town, surely enough I was given an interview and took a computer test. In the end, they didn't choose me for a job with them. I got enraged at God and actually found myself hating Him. I allowed that anger to be repressed for two weeks while I indulged myself in the arts of wicca and learned all I could about their practices. The moment I began to consider becoming a solitary witch practitioner the Lord slapped me hard in the face and heart, one of their rituals included placing the cross of Jesus in a cup and well, let's just say for the sake of sensitive hearts that it wasn't pleasant the things they did to that cross of Jesus hanging there suffering for us all. I felt the fear of God come upon me, the fear of judgement. I knew that I had turned my back deliberately on Him. I wanted to jump under a rock and stay there and just die in my terrible sins I had committed against the Lord. God rich in his mercies had a dear friend, Diane, who was online and called me. We prayed over the phone and I was released from the bondage of the occult. I was so scared, I can't believe I was so deceived. God filled me with His love and the gift of repentance and restoration came from heaven, I'll never forget the moment I surrendered to God!

What makes this so terrible is I still had areas of my life I hadn't surrendered. I kept running to food when I was mentally drained, emotionally exhausted, and indifferent. I totally hated who I was. I made my weight my identity. I hated everything about myself, even hated looking in the mirror. God had mercy upon my wretchedness as He does us all and lead me down a road of three years of recovery from overeating. I was around 296 and getting bigger by the months. God lead me to victory when I finally learned that I had to surrender my desires and hunger over to Him. He taught me to eat His table instead of the world's table. He taught me to find satisfaction in Him and not in the world! He gave me victory over myself! I have went from 296 to 169 and I am praising Him each day. I am no longer a slave to food, but to Him. I am currently working with women who are fighting gluttony as I was and the Lord has blessed me in more ways than I can ever imagine. Again, I am brought to my knees by this with humility. I am His servant now. I work for Him, not for me. What a beautiful thing the Lord has done in my life.

My dear friend Chanin has been there to witness my spiritual awakening, she is a blessed one of God and a beautiful sisters in the Lord. I want to publicly thank God for all He's done in me and for me, and also Chanin for all her encouragement and care she's shown me. Silence is speaking louder than words ever can.


_________________
Jennifer

 2004/8/19 10:35Profile
sermonindex
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Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37181
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

Online!
 Re: Intro to Butterflies.

Quote:
My dear friend Chanin has been there to witness my spiritual awakening, she is a blessed one of God and a beautiful sisters in the Lord. I want to publicly thank God for all He's done in me and for me, and also Chanin for all her encouragement and care she's shown me. Silence is speaking louder than words ever can.


Sister Jennifer thank you so much for sharing what an encouragement! I pray that you are strengthened and blessed by the SermonIndex ministry, you are amongst friends.


_________________
SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2004/8/19 10:58Profile
moreofHim
Member



Joined: 2003/10/15
Posts: 1632


 Re: welcome

Hi Jennifer :-)

I first met Jennifer over a year ago through the internet. Since I have known her, she has lost 173 lbs! Praise God! I know this is not a weight loss forum, but this is a huge miracle in anyone's life. I am so encouraged by her growth and discipline in the Lord.

The Lord deserves all the glory for what has gone on her life! :-)

Looks like you are already familiar with John Piper's "Hungering for God". And "Setting Captives Free". Awsome!

Jennifer, I hope you are blessed by all that SI has to offer and if you haven't heard Ten Shekels and a Shirt yet...... :-)

In Him, Chanin


_________________
Chanin

 2004/8/19 11:14Profile
sermonindex
Moderator



Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37181
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

Online!
 Re:

Quote:
Jennifer, I hope you are blessed by all that SI has to offer and if you haven't heard Ten Shekels and a Shirt yet......


doh! yes how could I forget..

If you haven't I recommend you check out some of the featured sermon pieces on the front page of the site, namely one forsure which is the most downloaded file off this site:

[b]Ten Shekels and a Shirt[/b]
[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=282]Audio Version[/url]
"This sermon should be preached on a regular basis in every church in America!" This message was preached by Paris Reidhead and it was only preached once. What a message for the times in Christianity today.


_________________
SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2004/8/19 11:45Profile
moreofHim
Member



Joined: 2003/10/15
Posts: 1632


 Re: intro

Quote:
yes how could I forget..


I thought you might be getting alzheimers so i just decided I better remind you. :-)


_________________
Chanin

 2004/8/19 11:54Profile
Gideons
Member



Joined: 2003/9/16
Posts: 474
Virginia

 Re:

Welcome to SI. God is moving in your heart and among many here. May God continue that work in your heart.


_________________
Ed Pugh

 2004/8/19 12:35Profile
ravin
Member



Joined: 2004/5/6
Posts: 309
Washington st. u.S. A.

 Re: Intro to Butterflies.

Welcome aboard. you'll find many blessings and good people
Bro. Raven :-)

 2004/8/19 20:02Profile
disciplejosh
Member



Joined: 2003/6/13
Posts: 210
Southern California

 Re:

Jennifer,

Thanks for sharing/pouring out your heart and most importantly, what the Lord has done and is doing in and through you.

May He continue to draw you ever closer to Himself as you fall on your knees and grow there.


_________________
Josh

 2004/8/20 0:59Profile
revival9
Member



Joined: 2004/6/6
Posts: 140
Arizona, USA

 Re: Hi Jennifer!

Welcome to SI. What a beautiful testimony! May you 'feast' upon the good spiritual food offered here.

Mrs. Fred


_________________
Mrs. Fred

 2004/8/20 2:21Profile
butterflies
Member



Joined: 2004/8/17
Posts: 20


 Re: Spiritual Food

I get all the spiritual food possible from feasting at the Lord's Table instead of the world! I am so on fire now in the Lord. I have given myself to Him now and I am not afraid as I was and struggling between the flesh and the spirit seems to have dwindled except with my boyfriend. I praise Him so much. When you bow down at toilets to pray and show reverence to God, you have to be on fire.

Also this site has excellent offerings of articles and so forth. Great spiritual food you have here! So touching!


_________________
Jennifer

 2004/8/20 9:02Profile





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