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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Did you choose your spouse or God?

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 Re:

Quote:
We are never called to try and search it out by prayer, regardless of what modern spirituality tries to tell you. That is never how prayer is presented in the Scripture. The revealed things are for us and for our children, the hidden things belong to God (Deut 29:29)



Heartsong is correct... this is flimsy theology, if it can even be called "theology".

Please expound upon this theory of yours using scripture.

Krispy

 2009/2/6 14:22
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

All of HeartSong's Scriptural examples have nothing to do with God speaking extra Biblical revelation into our minds, which is what she implied God would do if Santana asked him if he is supposed to marry this young lady. I see quickening the mind with wisdom; I see receiving the things we asked for - but I see the Lord giving you extra Biblical revelation.

1st Corinthians chapter 7 is my Scriptural proof. Paul says if you want to get married, get married (if it's a believer). Paul, inspired by God, gives you the freedom to choose a wife. Although the modern idea of decision making sounds spiritual, it simply is not found in the Bible. Nothing is said in 1st Cor. 7 about God telling you who to marry when you pray.

Another Scriptural example would be 1st Thessalonians 3:1 - "we thought it best". Not, "we had a feeling this was best"; not "I think the Lord may be telling me this is best". Simply, "we thought it best". They used sound decision making.

There is an objective standard for decision making - it's the Bible. I have brought this up numerous times, and not one person has brought up a verse that demonstrates clearly that God ever spoke or directed His people through thoughts or feelings implanted in their minds. It simply has no root in the Bible, and no root in historic Christianity.

For a detailed overview of this view of decision making, this is a helpful article: http://www.gfriesen.net/sections/willofgod_principles.php

With care in Christ,
Taylor


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/6 14:49Profile









 Re:

A wise person will pray about who they are to marry. There are certainly ways in which we can know... does the person help draw us closer to God... do other godly people approve of the relationship... etc etc.

But to suggest that we dont need to pray about the second most important thing you'll ever do in this lifetime is crazy.

Surely I'm misunderstanding you, right?

Quote:
...not one person has brought up a verse that demonstrates clearly that God ever spoke or directed His people through thoughts or feelings implanted in their minds. It simply has no root in the Bible, and no root in historic Christianity.



Maybe thats because no ever suggested that. You just thought they did. I'm certainly not suggesting that. I'm saying that there are real life practical ways in which God can make His will for your life very clear... usually thru counsel of scripture and other older godly people who have been walking the walk longer.

Krispy

 2009/2/6 15:03
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

Brother,

Yes, you are misunderstanding me. However, the fault is probably mine for not explaining clearly.

I believe that we should pray. But, I believe we should pray in a Biblical manner. Perhaps, "Lord, give me wisdom to discern if this would be a godly marriage partner".

The kind of praying I was trying to warn against was: "Lord, should I marry this person?". I don't believe the Lord or the Apostles ever showed us that we should pray like that.

I believe we pray for wisdom and discernment, then we make our decisions based on Scriptural principles, trusting that the Lord works all thigns for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

With care in Christ,
Taylor


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/6 15:07Profile









 Re:

Isnt that the same thing?

Krispy

 2009/2/6 15:08
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

Brother Krispy,

I don't think so. In the first prayer ("Lord, give me wisdom and discernment in this situation"), you are not asking the Lord to just tell you who to marry by some voice or feeling. You are simply asking the Lord to give you clear judgment. Then, you apply other ordained means: counselors, parents, Bible study, etc.

In the second prayer ("Lord, should I marry this person"), you are asking for a response: "yes" or "no" that is given to you directly from God, generally circumventing the appointed means of making decision making (see above). I don't believe the Bible presents prayer in this fashion, at least not in an inaudible response. If someone is claiming they heard God's voice audibly, that may have more Biblical ground, because at least that kind of speaking occurs in the Bible.

Does that make sense?

With care in Christ,
Taylor


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/6 15:13Profile









 Re:

I think we're in agreement, just saying it differently.

Krispy

 2009/2/6 15:15
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3392
East TN (for now)

 Re: Did you choose your spouse or God?

Quote:
Santana wrote:
I'm in a courtship with a Godly woman but all of a sudden I'm unsure. I definitely want to marry her but now I have unrest, uneasiness and a lack of peace.

Is it usually fear of commitment/marriage or is God telling me something? Not to sound like a third grader but we both love each other and we love the Lord even more...so what's the problem??

Has anybody ever experienced this?



Santana,

I've been reading through your responses and I feel someone must tell you... if you have any, and I mean any, reservations about marrying this girl. Do not do it!

Is she or her family pushing you two to get married? If they are, back off and let the seas calm.

This may not even be your story but I have known two guys, one in his 20's (son of a friend) and one in his 40's (another friend) and both girlfriends were pushing for marriage. Both guys said "No, not now. For sure later but definitely not now." Well, both girlfriends felt slighted and broke up with these guys instead of waiting and the sad thing is that they were married within the year to someone else.

I'm a female and I hate to be the one to this to you this but to me those two instances prove that some girls just want to be married and they really don't care to who. Now if you asked them if they cared to who, OF COURSE they would care but the proof is in the pudding....

**** I'm not saying your girlfriend is this way!!!****

I did though want to put this on the table before you "just in case," because you do seem a little hesitant.

I was hesitant and I should have followed my gut. There is a peace that comes with Christ!'

God bless,


_________________
Lisa

 2009/2/6 15:31Profile
Santana
Member



Joined: 2006/8/17
Posts: 286


 Re:

So the 'uneasiness in my stomach' and 'lack of peace' isn't necessarily from the Lord...It could be all in my head right? =)

When I first met her I prayed, "Is she the 'one' or not Lord." I felt through a sermon that he said no. But maybe this is what happens when you don't spend time to know him and his voice. assumptions.

...and Lysa. Were both just taking it slow and our parents are kind of against it because there not saved and from different cultures. (whole 'nother topic)


_________________
Leonardo Santana

 2009/2/6 15:31Profile
fuehrerbe21
Member



Joined: 2008/10/21
Posts: 151
Wisconsin

 Re:

Quote:
I'm almost even scared to pray about it for fear of saying break up.



I would say you need to be willing to give up this girl, especially if God wills it of you. I would say this is some indication that you are having a difficult time seperating God's will from your own.

A lot of good advice has been given, but definately do two things. 1.) pray - this is the most important thing you can do. 2.) counsel - get council from mature Christians who know both of you.

Marriage is definately not something that needs to be rushed into. My wife and I married when we were young (20 each) and have been married for over two years. We do have a child and another on the way! How did I know that I was to marry my wife? I prayed about it and sought council. No one I sought council from (including parents) had an issue with it after they prayed for us.

The reality is that the "loviedovieness" is going to wear off. That is when true love sets in. I would say that love is a verb. It is something we choose to do. So, if you do get married and realize you are not fond of this girl, I'd say, "tough". A covenant is different than a contract. Contracts can be changed or broken; covenants can not.

If you are not willing to wait, I would say you should not get married. It is better to wait and be sure than to rush into it and realize you made a mistake.


_________________
Ben Fuehrer

 2009/2/6 15:32Profile





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