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Santana
Member



Joined: 2006/8/17
Posts: 286


 Did you choose your spouse or God?

I'm in a courtship with a Godly woman but all of a sudden I'm unsure. I definitely want to marry her but now I have unrest, uneasiness and a lack of peace.

Is it usually fear of commitment/marriage or is God telling me something? Not to sound like a third grader but we both love each other and we love the Lord even more...so what's the problem??

Has anybody ever exerienced this?


_________________
Leonardo Santana

 2009/2/5 13:15Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re: Did you choose your spouse or God?

God gives you the freedom to marry whom you choose given it is within his moral law. In other words, the person is a believer and is of the opposite sex.

After that, generally, you should listen to wise counselors that know your both, as well as your parents input.

The Bible never speaks of waiting for special revelation for whom to marry. In 1st Corinthians 7, Paul states that you have the freedom to get married to whom you chose, though only in the Lord (marrying a believer).

If you have some specific topic that you are uneasy about, then that's something you could address. However, if it's just some ambigious "uneasy" feeling, I would say it could be normal. Marriage is a big responsibility. But, the Lord gives grace to his people. Courting and marriage is too serious a subject to play by your feelings alone.

You said it yourself, you love her. And, you both love the Lord. You are free to do what you think is wise and honorable.

With care in Christ,
Taylor


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/5 13:51Profile









 Re:

I'm not a 5-point Calvinist... however, since God knew my children since the beginning of time I have to think that God chose my wife for me.

I dont know how theologically accurate that is... I'm kinda shooting in the dark on this.

Krispy

 2009/2/5 13:56
Santana
Member



Joined: 2006/8/17
Posts: 286


 Re:

Taylor, I think you just saved my marriage before the marriage, =) Not you, but the Word. I feel so relieved now man. I feel like if I marry the wrong girl, I might be outside of God's will or something.

Krispy, I think I know what your saying. God chose this girl for me right?

PS- I was really touched by your born-again again experience man. Seriously. Something clicked in me with that.


_________________
Leonardo Santana

 2009/2/5 14:00Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

To balance my post with Krispy's.

I agree with him.

I wasn't trying to say that God doesn't know who your wife will be. But, he doesn't choose to reveal that to us. Our Lord has a revealed will (the Bible) and a secret will (what he will do in time that is not made known to us now). The Lord never tells us to seek out his secret will (Deut 29:29). But, we are simply to walk in light of his revealed will, obeying the things he has taught us.

With care in Christ,
Taylor


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/5 14:00Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

Santana,

If I can be of more service to you, please let me know. I will even talk with you on the phone if you would like.

As long as you are keeping the Lord's commands regarding marriage (Purity, honoring all involved, marrying a believer) - you're free. It's not a freedom to sin, but a freedom to honor the Lord. You can choose whom to marry. If you want to marry this girl, and she loves the Lord, go for it! Marriages between believers honor the Lord.

If you can grasp this concept in your life, not just in this area, but in all areas, it will set you free from much guilt brother.

With care in Christ,
Taylor


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Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/5 14:02Profile
Santana
Member



Joined: 2006/8/17
Posts: 286


 Re:

"Just one word from heaven and you'll never be the same."


_________________
Leonardo Santana

 2009/2/5 14:03Profile









 Re:

Quote:
Krispy, I think I know what your saying. God chose this girl for me right?



Whoa, nelly! I dont know you or this girl, so I would never presume to give you that advice. All I'm saying is that in my case, as I read scripture and strive to understand it... I can look back and see how God has led my paths. Scripture tells us that God knew us before we were ever here... therefore He knew my kids, and without my wife and I they would not be here.

Now, as I said, I'm not a Calvinist. As Paul Washer puts it... I'm a 5-point "Spurgeonist". I'll never understand all this.

If this relationship brings both of you into a closer relationship with Him... if she encourages you to give yourself completely to God, and vice versa... then before you burn with lust, marry the girl.

But seek some counsel from mature Christians who know both of you and can be fair judges as to whether you both are mature enough to take this step.

Krispy

 2009/2/5 14:25
ccchhhrrriiisss
Member



Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4499


 Re:

Actually, it is better for a man to NOT marry!
How does that work into God's "will?"

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being married. He who has found a wife has found a GOOD thing...and will receive favor from the Lord. Remember, God created the first wife! He told man to be fruitful and multiply.

I will say this: Be very careful about entering into a marriage covenant. You are only supposed to do this once! I know people who were "sure" that their girlfriend was "chosen by God" only to figure out later that it just wasn't meant to be (either their girlfriend dumped them...or their wife left them...or they simply found that the woman wasn't the person that God might have wanted for them).

I would simply ask that you pray. It is possible that this uneasiness that you feel might very well be the prompting of the Lord! On the other hand, it might simply be a case of "cold feet." I will pray that you have an assurance from the Lord either way...but I would caution you not to act until you have that assurance.

I am praying for you, brother.


_________________
Christopher

 2009/2/5 15:09Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

Quote:
How does that work into God's "will?"



"Let the one who is [b]able[/b] to receive this receive it." - Matthew 19:12


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2009/2/5 18:51Profile





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