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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Child Custody

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123
Member



Joined: 2008/12/28
Posts: 11


 Child Custody

I am currently in a sitiation where I have a 3 month old daughter who lives with her mother who is a non believer. She is difficult to deal with and making it hard for me to develope a healthy relationship with my daughter. I was backslidden at the time my daughter was concieved and have since turned back to the Lord.
My question is what do you all think of going to court to ensure that I am allowed a signifigant amount of unhindered time with my daughter? Or just try to work things out with this girl, which hasn't been going very well so far. I believe my child deserves to know and have a good relationship with her Father.

Any thoughts??
:-?

 2009/1/21 21:45Profile
HeartSong
Member



Joined: 2006/9/13
Posts: 3142


 Re: Child Custody

Hello 123,

Your only hope is in the Lord. The only true power that you are going to have in this situation is through prayer. The Lord has shown me that when I take things into my own hands, or turn to man for answers - ultimately I fail, or there is a huge cost associated with a small gain. Conversely, when I turn to Him the roadblock is removed and great blessings come forth.

I will be praying for you and your family.

 2009/1/21 21:53Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7421
Mississippi

 Re: Child Custody

What is the marriage status of you and this woman? Might make a difference in the advice one would give - was/is either one of you married to anyone at any point in time?

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2009/1/21 23:31Profile
123
Member



Joined: 2008/12/28
Posts: 11


 Re:

no neither of us have been married.

 2009/1/22 0:21Profile
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3385
East TN (for now)

 Re: Child Custody

Quote:
123 wrote:
I am currently in a sitiation where I have a 3 month old daughter who lives with her mother who is a non believer. She is difficult to deal with and making it hard for me to develope a healthy relationship with my daughter. I was backslidden at the time my daughter was concieved and have since turned back to the Lord.

My question is what do you all think of going to court to ensure that I am allowed a signifigant amount of unhindered time with my daughter? Or just try to work things out with this girl, which hasn't been going very well so far. I believe my child deserves to know and have a good relationship with her Father.

Any thoughts??


123,

As christians, we are allowed to do all we know within the laws of our land.

If you do not have a parenting agreement, you are within your legal rights to file one and seek AS MUCH TIME with your daughter you can get. (If you cannot afford an attorney, your state or county may have parenting agreements online but with a child involved, I urge you to seek counsel.)

You can seek joint custody in this parenting agreement or every other weekend with one or two days during the week of the previous week.

In my state, when a person files a parenting agreement, the responder has 30 days to object and if not, your agreement stands.

Whatever you do, pray and have faith with [b]no malice[/b] toward your ex-girlfriend. She may think this is about her but it is about a little soul who deserves to know her daddy on a regular basis.

God bless,


_________________
Lisa

 2009/1/22 5:34Profile









 Re:

I agree with Lysa... as long as you keep your own motives in check, you are free to pursue whatever legal rights afforded you by the laws of the land. Paul had no trouble appealing to the authorities on the basis of his citizenship of the Roman Empire... and in each case God saw fit to honor this.

Scripture forbids one Christian from taking another Christian to court. This is not what you are doing. Those who would tell you not to pursue your legal rights because of this part of scripture are comparing apples to oranges, and do not understand what Paul was saying.

Can we assume that you have sought the Lord and been restored into a right relationship with Him? If so... Praise the Lord!

Krispy

 2009/1/22 8:03
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7421
Mississippi

 Re:

So neither one of you is or was married...

Now if you want to pursue a relationship with your daughter, you might begin by offering support to the mother for the child's ongoing expense. This is the moral and legal obligation of the biological father. If you render financial support, I think by law she is responsible to allow you visitation rights to see the child. But aggravate her only one time and it will be back to square one.

BTW, is she a minor and you an adult? If so, you could spend time in the pen for rape, even if it was consensual.

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2009/1/22 9:08Profile
123
Member



Joined: 2008/12/28
Posts: 11


 Re:

we were both consenting adults, i think that last question was a little out of place ginnyrose.

I have sought the Lord and wept and prayed to him daily in brokeness for about 9 months now. I was hoping God might change the situation and work things out with the mother of my Child. I was willing to marry her if that was the right thing to do. Over this last 9 months I have gone out of my way to give her over and above what I was legally abliged to do. She was not even willing to talk to me yet I still was there for her financially and trying to develope at least a friendship. She would just take whatever I gave, come to me when she needed something and use me. I am starting to think it is wrong to support this kind of behavior. She has assumed complete control of my daughters life and treats me like an intruder when i go to visit.
If I allow her I believe this behavior would continue forever.

Anyways thanks for the advice guys, I really appreciate it. I am still hesitant about court but am starting to feel like it may be the way to go if she is unwilling toi work with me.

Blessings

 2009/1/22 10:05Profile









 Re:

I do agree with Ginny in regards of offering help to the mother. You are responsible for that child even if she wont allow you to see her. In God's eyes, if not in the eyes of the law. If she sees that you are willing to step up to the plate then she will be more willing to allow you access without having to go thru the court system.

If she refuses your help, send her money anonymously. (unless you find out she's using the money for a drug habit or something like that. You dont want to enable a person.)

Krispy

 2009/1/22 10:43
fuehrerbe21
Member



Joined: 2008/10/21
Posts: 151
Wisconsin

 Re:

I think it is right that you tried to work out your relationship with the mother. I would say you should continue to pray for her and for your relationship with her. I would say the best thing for all of you is to try to work out your relationship. It will be the best for all of you in the long run.

Until then, I would continue to seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit. You are the Father, which means you should fight to make sure your daughter is protected and taken care of. This also means that she needs to have an example of what a man of God is. She is young now, but she will see the way you talk about and to her mother. Your child will see the way you live your life.

As to going to court, we are under the delegated authority of the United States government. I would say you are permitted to act within the parameters set forth in the law.

A test I personally use regarding anything questionable is that if I am so uncertain, it may be best to stay away from it.


_________________
Ben Fuehrer

 2009/1/22 13:24Profile





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