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"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

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 Re:

[img]http://66.139.79.202/sermonindex.net/images/forum/comic0001.gif[/img]

I really like this one. :-D


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SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2003/9/1 14:33Profile
jeremyhulsey
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Joined: 2003/4/18
Posts: 777


 Re: Theology Gone Crazy

By Randall F. West
Issue #188, July/August 2003

Trini-tini-tarianism – Belief in a miniscule but three-personed God.

Exebegesis – Textual interpretation that results in scaring the pants
off you.

Septuasquint – Vision deficit resulting from intense study of small-
print version of the Septuagint.

Septuagimp – Manuscript of O.T. in very lame Greek.

Codex Sinusitis – Historically important New Testament manuscript
that makes you sneeze.

Hypocrypha – extra-canonical documents that pretend to be part of the
apocrypha but aren't.

Apocalips – The intensely pursed expression of readers of Left Behind
books.

Tell-e-all-ogy – The theological justification for sleazy
unauthorized biographies.

Penetetouche´ – A crushing rejoinder to arguments that Moses did not
write the Penteteuch.

More-pheology Theology – The study of the slippery changes of the
prosperity doctrine.

Trylemma – The crisis of conscience experienced by agnostics who try
to respond to C.S. Lewis' "Lord, liar or lunatic" argument.

Eh-scatology – Ho-hum exposition of the end times.

Christodgily – Dry, academic discussion of the various manifestations
of Christ.

Form Criticism – What liberal theologians engage in when they go on
Spring Break.

Intarnation – Ontological epithet often inserted into the
sentence "What…are you doing?"

Propitchiation – A testimony of faith given by professional baseball
players.

Par-wooz-sia – State of mental fuzziness induced by overlong fasting
while reading the book of Revelation.

Par-ooz-sia – A divine appearance bringing about the end of the world
in a slow, icky way.

Par-oops-sia – Heresy propounded by some writers who forgot where to
look for the book of the Revelation.

KerygMama – A dynamic woman preacher (see also: Franklin, Aretha).

Kantikle of Kanticles – Seldom-sung love song based on Immanuel
Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.

Synaptic Gospels – Fast paced cyber-version of the Gospels edited by Keanu Reeves and the cast of The Matrix. Features amazing special
effects, including the Apostle Paul evangelizing faster than humanly
possible.

Dyslexic Gospels – Version that only makes sense read backwards.

Pteredactor – A theological dinosaur known for biting large holes in
the text.


Taken from "thedoormagazine.com"

In Christ,
Jeremy Hulsey


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Jeremy Hulsey

 2003/9/17 15:43Profile
philologos
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Joined: 2003/7/18
Posts: 6566
Reading, UK

 Re:Python Blasphemy

Discipleonthemove.
Can you watch the scene of the crucifixion where the Eternal Son of God became poor for us in His separation from God and listen to Brian singing 'always look on the bright side of life' and still ask this question?

Did you know that it was financed by George Harrison? A member of a famous group who once infamously boasted that they were more popular than Jesus.


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Ron Bailey

 2003/9/17 17:01Profile
crsschk
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Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re: On the Lighter Side

One day down in Jackson, Alabama, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner, Bubba, tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black Lab just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to
country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running....

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks Bubba what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"



"He's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff"


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Mike Balog

 2003/11/24 23:26Profile
Chosen7Stone
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Joined: 2003/7/21
Posts: 268
FL, USA

 Re:

[img]http://www.sermonindex.net/GraveCam.gif[/img]


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Mary M.

 2003/11/25 0:00Profile
crsschk
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re:

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.


A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from men of God, a rival florist across town declared the competition unfair and asked the good fathers to close down. They refused. He begged them to close. They ignored him. In an act of desperation the rival florist hired Hugh
MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He ate very little which made him frail. And, his diet was odd which caused him to suffer from bad breath. In sum, the combination made him a "super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."


And just in time for Christmas...

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse because chessnuts boasting in an open foyer was prohibited.


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Mike Balog

 2003/12/3 21:57Profile
philologos
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Joined: 2003/7/18
Posts: 6566
Reading, UK

 Re:

Now I thought the English were supposed to be the world's worst punners.

Here is a variant on the supercalifragilistic theme from the world of soccer:

In February 2000 part-timers Inverness Caledonian Thistle dumped Celtic (pronounced Seltic) out of the Scottish Cup with a thumping 3-1 victory. One the the UK's famous tabloid newspaper sub-editors came up with the headline...

Super Cale go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious


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Ron Bailey

 2003/12/4 4:32Profile
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"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

Online!
 Re:

[img]http://www.sermonindex.net/images/comic003.gif[/img]


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SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2003/12/4 19:31Profile
philologos
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Joined: 2003/7/18
Posts: 6566
Reading, UK

 Re: Old dogs and new tricks

The dog came into the room doing a tap-dance. He paused, sang a few songs and then did some political impersonations.
"Your dog is amazing" said a watcher "he ought to be in films"
"You talk to him" said the owner, "he wants to be dentist"

BTW crsschk, is there a deep significance in your choice of Calvin's nemesis for your avatar?


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Ron Bailey

 2003/12/8 10:37Profile
crsschk
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Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re:

(Copied from the "Ooops"...post)


Funny you should ask, had this stored away in my files. For those not familiar this would be in regards to the greatest cartoon strip ever produced, Calvin and Hobbes. No longer in print.

I had intended to post this mainly because of the popularity of the Hobbes avatar, some interesting tidbits from it's creator, Bill Watterson:

[u]Calvin[/u]

- Calvin is named for a sixteenth-century theologian who believed in predestination. Most people assume that Calvin is based on a son of mine, or based on detailed memories of my own childhood. In fact, I don't have children, and I was a fairly quiet, obedient kid--almost Calvin's opposite. One of the reasons that Calvin's character is fun to write is that I often don't agree with him.

[u]Hobbes[/u]

- Named after a seventeenth-century philosopher with a dim view of human nature, Hobbes has the patient dignity and common sense of most animals I've met. Hobbes was very much inspired by one of our cats, a gray tabby named Sprite. Sprite not only provided the long body and facial characteristics for Hobbes, she also was the model for his personality. She was good-natured, intelligent, friendly, and enthusiastic in a sneaking-up-and-pouncing sort of way. Sprite suggested the idea of Hobbes greeting Calvin at the door in midair at high velocity.

[u]Miss Wormwood[/u]

- As a few readers guessed, Miss Wormwood is named after the apprentice devil in C. S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters. I have a lot of sympathy for Miss Wormwood. We see hints that she's waiting to retire, that she smokes too much, and that she takes a lot of medication. I think she seriously believes in the value of education, so needless to say, she's an unhappy person.

More @
http://www.reemst.com/calvin_and_hobbes/?page=cast

To answer your original question;

Quote:
is there a deep significance in your choice of Calvin's nemesis for your avatar?


Well, Hobbes would do [i]anything[/i] for a tummy rub.....

[u]Quotes[/u]

Calvin - Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

----------------

Calvin - It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

----------------

Calvin - What's it like to fall in love?

Hobbes - Well... Say the object of your affection walks by...

Calvin - Yeah?

Hobbes - First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you
babble like a cretin until she leaves.

Calvin - That's love?!?

Hobbes - Medically speaking.

Calvin - Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!

-----------------

Hobbes - Do you think there's a God?

Calvin - Well somebody's out to get me!

-----------------

http://www.reemst.com/calvin_and_hobbes/?page=quotes


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Mike Balog

 2003/12/8 10:47Profile





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