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Discussion Forum : Scriptures and Doctrine : Can God reveal to you your future spouse?

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Lavishes
Member



Joined: 2007/10/5
Posts: 14
Australia

 Can God reveal to you your future spouse?

If no
then you choose who you want apart from God's input, evidently within the boundaries set by Scripture. Yet does that mean God is not concerned for details?

If yes
then what do you do if the person revealed to you personally by God in His grace and sovereignty is either straying or has strayed? Do you love them unconditionally and accept them as they are, do you leave them alone, what do you do? And to add to the complication, you too have strayed due to this relationship.

I'd like mature counsel preferable backed up with Scripture

Thank you in advance


_________________
D. C.

 2008/8/12 8:49Profile









 Re: Can God reveal to you your future spouse?

Of course He [i]can[/i]... He can do anything. I think He does if we're in tune with Him and walking with Him daily. If a man and a woman begin a relationship, and that relationship serves to bring them closer to God, then it is a godly relationship. After much prayer and fasting and seeking Him, I believe He will give them a peace about marriage if that's His will for them.

This is where courtship is very important. Western ideals about dating... where you try on relationships like you would a pair of shoes is seriously flawed. Courtship is where a man and a woman enter into a friendship/relationship acknowledging that the goal is marriage, should that be God's will.

Since I wasnt saved before I got married, I dont have the courtship thing figured out in my head yet. But my beautiful wife and I have 2 boys that are old enough to have noticed the opposite sex... and we are learning about courtship before they are old enough to enter into such a thing. (Our other two boys are still young enough to play in the mud and fall in love with frogs and lizards)

As to your question about straying... are you referring to straying from God, or from the other person?

If you mean straying from the other person, then perhaps God hasnt revealed to you what you think He has. Perhaps your hormones are doing the revealing.

If you're married to this person you have NO choice but to love them unconditionally. Just look at the prophet Hosea. God commanded Hosea to marry a harlot, and she strayed several times. Each time Hosea received her back. This was God's way of demonstrating for Israel His own love for them.

If you're not married to the person, and they are straying from God... love them unconditionally and try to reach them. If they continue to stray then my advice is to let them go for your own spiritual safety lest you be dragged along with them. Your first allegiance is to Christ.

Krispy

 2008/8/12 9:18
sojourner7
Member



Joined: 2007/6/27
Posts: 1573
Omaha, NE

 Re: Can God reveal to you your future spouse?

Of course, it is wise to seek God's counsel
about decisions as important as who we are
to marry. This person must first be devoted
and committed to walking with the Lord or
the marriage will not last!!


_________________
Martin G. Smith

 2008/8/12 10:18Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 926
Arkansas

 Re: Can God reveal to you your future spouse?

God commands us to act wisely and make godly decisions. We should not expect extra-Biblical revelation for a spouse. God is concerned with the details, that is why He gave you a Scripture to be your meticulous guide. Pray for wisdom and discernment as you search the Scriptures in the matter. As Paul wrote to Timothy, the Scriptures are so that the godly man can be thoroughly equipped! They are sufficient for every situation.

If you meet someone who meets the Scriptural guidelines or is striving to be better conformed to those guidelines for a godly spouse, and you like them, then take counsel with family and church elders, and if others also agree with your decision, go for it.


_________________
Taylor Otwell

 2008/8/12 11:00Profile









 Re:

Quote:
...go for it.



Be fruitful and multiply! Amen! Marriage can be as wonderful as you want to make it. If your spouse becomes a miserable person over time it's generally because you made them that way.

Krispy

 2008/8/12 11:13
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 6626
Mississippi

 Re:

Quote:
If your spouse becomes a miserable person over time it's generally because you made them that way.



Or, because of hidden sin that has never been dealt with by confession/restitution/forgiveness. Unless sin is dealt with it will go underground and resurface much later as another [apparent] unrelated sin and make everyone around him/her miserable because he/she is in denial. This is why you must know all the flaws of your potential spouse and what they have been involved in. And note the attitude of this person: this is very revealing. Is it one of sorrow, regret, repentance for sin[s] committed or is there a defensiveness? If it is a defensiveness, you run in the opposite direction because this smells like trouble - worse then a kettle of fish that has sat in the sun a couple days!

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2008/8/12 15:02Profile









 Re:

Thats certainly true... but if you're walking and living out your faith, then especially for men it's true that we wield great influence over our spouses. If we love them as Christ loved the church, and we cherish them and build them up... then they can be (and usually are) wonderful wives and mothers and daughters of the King. If we're the spiritual leader, and we are pastoring our own families as we should be, then generally speaking our wives will follow.

If we treat our spouses like dirt... ignore them... expect them to wait on us... then the result will be unpleasant.

Krispy

 2008/8/12 15:16









 Re:

"..Refuse not to marry, when God offers you a fair opportunity; but be sure you marry in the Lord; and one of a good disposition, that he may not grieve you, but give you a comfortable livelihood in the world..."

~Christopher Love
(To his wife before he was martyred)

I just posted this on my xanga.

 2008/8/12 16:10









 Re:

Quote:

Rivqah wrote:
"..Refuse not to marry, when God offers you a fair opportunity; but be sure you marry in the Lord; and one of a good disposition, that he may not grieve you, but give you a comfortable livelihood in the world..."

~Christopher Love
(To his wife before he was martyred)

I just posted this on my xanga.



To add to that here is a good definition of that word "disposition":

disposition: the predominant or prevailing tendency of one's spirits; natural mental and emotional outlook or mood...

 2008/8/12 16:24
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 6626
Mississippi

 Re:

Quote:
then they can be (and usually are) wonderful wives and mothers and daughters of the King.



The word "usually' should be noted. A person living in denial spells trouble. This person can be ever so religious and so pious and fool most people....so how do you discern whether this person is genuine? Pray diligently to help you to know and listen to your doubts. If there are any run in the opposite direction and/or do more investigating.

Remember a person does not have to be married in order to serve the LORD. It is far better to wish you were married then to wish you weren't.

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2008/8/12 18:26Profile





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