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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : I'm begging you for your prayers.

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Joined: 2008/1/11
Posts: 375
Minnesota, USA

 I'm begging you for your prayers.

I'm asking anyone who is willing to lift me before the Lord in prayer.

I've had a very emotional time of it these last two weeks. (I've written a bit about it in the Welcome Forum, if you care to read it. If not, it isn't necessary because this its about God, not me.)

I feel as though I've gone through two years in the last two weeks. The highs of experiencing His joy and the lows of mourning and repentance until I thought I'd be crushed into dust. And now, with more sincerity than I've ever spoken with before, I must share what I've learned.

I am undeserving of even thinking about God. My sins are such a stench before my own nostrils that I want to vomit. How much more so to a holy God? I deserve hell and would have no leg to stand on if He were to sentence me there for eternity.

But, I know He loves me. I haven't been able to grasp the reality of it yet. I can't fathom the possibility because it's too wonderful to hope for. Hell could have been rightfully been created solely for me but He chose to redeem me for Himself. Do you [i]really[/i] understand that? What could possibly contain enough love to do that except for the Father Himself?

I'm humbled but I am incapable of walking in humility. I'm repentant but all I know how to do is sin. I want for nothing more than to be transformed into His image daily -- but I'm full of pride, incapable of pure motives. I have knowledge but I'm puffed-up. My heart is deceitfully wicked... [i]BUT GOD...[/i]

My brain isn't capable of processing this! I'm overwhelmed and my breath falls short! Who is this God that can love like this?!

Even my own opinions sicken me. They mean nothing and I spout them like wisdom. It's foolishness!

Please pray that God would have His way with me. The world would say I'm insane because I want His rebuke, correction, and to be purified by Him. But, I can't help it! What else can I do? Jesus [i]died[/i] for me! I have no other road to follow!

I know God's way is to crush and destroy and turn me inside out until all that's unholy and not of Him is purged. And I know it won't be anywhere near the neighborhood of easy, but I must go through it because I must be made more like Jesus! What else is there? I'm willing but I'm too weak and afraid to ask Him myself! I'm scared.

I'm at the end of myself. I have no more strength; no wisdom. And no hope without Him. All the hope and strength I have is in Him and I can only trust in His storehouse of provisions for me and for anyone who will give Him their very lives. I fear Him and I will obey Him, but it will have to be in His strength and come from absolute faith because I have no other way.

I'm begging people to pray for me. I've never been more serious in my life.


 2008/1/22 20:35Profile

Joined: 2007/9/13
Posts: 1752

 Re: I'm begging you for your prayers.

May His will be done in your life brother. This is my prayer.


 2008/1/22 20:44Profile


Brother, may I share with you something that Watchman Nee taught.

Get some of the "I"s out.

"it is no longer I that live, but Christ".

There was also a great tract for Christians by that title. I'll try to find it.

The only thing I've seen that I've felt apprehensive about for Your own sake, was the amount of "I"s in some of your posts.

Swallow many I's for a while and see ONLY HIM and you will have what is needed to be "others minded" as He was. Our "I"s need to decrease so that He can increase.

Besides Nee, Chip Brogden is good to read, either from his text messages here at SI or at .

Good dying to self stuff.

Nee said something to the effect that -- over-introspection will blind you to self after a while and stunt growth and our hearts are not pure enough to explore themselves.

Commit the "doing" to Him and know that we are transformed by Him by just "hungering and thirsting after righteousness - then we Shall be filled" and we are cleansed "by the washing of the Word."

Just bite your tongue and clip the "I" thoughts and look to The Author and Finisher of our faith.

Hope this is taken in the spirit it was writen in.

All of our hearts are the same. We all need to decrease so He can increase or "die to self", for a lack of a better phrase.

LORD Bless.

2Ti 1:12 ..... for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep [i]that which I have committed unto Him[/i] against that day.

Pray one for another.

1Th 5:23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
[i]1Th 5:24 Faithful is He that calleth you, Who also will do it.[/i]
1Th 5:25 Brethren, pray for us.


 2008/1/22 21:02

Joined: 2004/4/5
Posts: 952

 Re: I'm begging you for your prayers.

God knows your heart, and you know He loves you.
There is a Song, "Give up, and let Jesus take over,
and He'll make a way for you.
God Bless you, and hold you close to Him.

 2008/1/22 22:02Profile

Joined: 2007/4/25
Posts: 1529
Scotland, UK



You got some good advicd there from HE_Reigns.

Understand this you will never be good enough.

You will never never never never never be good enough. You must stop trying to do it yourself.

To me you seem to be very religious. Religion gives you rules it gives you law. Guess what you can't keep the law.

You where saying on another post about not watching TV and recommending that others do it and then I come on here and see this.

My heart know crys Father as I know God the Father, to get to the Father you have to come through Jesus.

In John 14:6, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father except through me".

I know the Father loves me and I love him I have a peace inside. I am not happy with who I am there are areas in my life that are not perfect.

The first time I heard God speak to me it was through a preacher.

This is what was said 'for even some of you have felt that this weekend boy I have to get my life straight I have to get myself straightened out get my life together well that is my Spirit says God.

Guess what I was thinking that weekend these very words. On the Satarday night I said to myself I am going to church. I did not know if it would be open but off I went it was open I went in and I heard God speak to me.

What you need to develop is a relationship with God. Get before God in prayer tell him how you feel. How long have you known God, do you know God? He longs to know you he longs to spend time with you.

One more thought there is no microwave for Christians you have to get in the oven and get roasted the good old fashioned way.

Please don't do this I am trying to paint a picture. See yourself wraped in tin foil placed in a tray reach out to close the oven door as the door is about to shut. Tell the Holy Spirit to turn it up as high as he wants and that you'll stay in for as long as he wants.

Let the Holy Spirit Roast you brother but remember there will always be a peace.
If you are truly submitted to God's will there will always be a peace. So there is another key get to where the peace is.

We are not good enough but because of Jesus we are good enough. His blood made us good enough. Holiness is not about living a certain way that would be Holiness by works. God makes you Holy then you live a life for him.

All you have to do is ask.

Colin Murray

 2008/1/22 22:12Profile


Murr, I love this -

[b]See yourself wraped in tin foil placed in a tray reach out to close the oven door as the door is about to shut. Tell the Holy Spirit to turn it up as high as he wants and that you'll stay in for as long as he wants.

Let the Holy Spirit Roast you brother but remember there will always be a peace.
If you are truly submitted to God's will there will always be a peace. So there is another key get to where the peace is. [/b]


Rom 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.

Heb 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

I found those two things I tried to quote above. Not I but Christ.

 2008/1/22 22:31

Joined: 2007/11/6
Posts: 191



Let the Holy Spirit Roast you brother but remember there will always be a peace.
If you are truly submitted to God's will there will always be a peace. So there is another key get to where the peace is.

So true and some times it takes more time.
And some times God is seems silent through out of it; but He is always there watching over you and making sure at the end will be perfect, a sweet smelling aroma for Him that may be pleasing for Him who is the creator of all.
Rest in Him and under His wings you will find peace.

edited typing error


 2008/1/22 22:33Profile

Joined: 2006/8/1
Posts: 370
West Monroe, LA


Take a deep breath, set a steady pace, and drink long at the fountain of God’s grace on your face before Him, because there are a few miles left to run. I agree wholeheartedly with Murray and Annie. You can overload trying to stuff it all in at once. Better to eat one good meal and chew it thoroughly and digest it, meditate upon it until it becomes a part of you than to nibble off of every plate until you cannot remember what the first one tasted like. And what you learn on your face before God with nothing but His Word before you will be yours and yours alone.

These two verses came to mind in reading many of your posts.

Luke 8:15 (NASB) 15“But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.

Hebrews 12:1 - 2 (NKJV) 1Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I will be praying for you this very night.


Clint Thornton

 2008/1/22 22:50Profile

Joined: 2006/9/13
Posts: 3156

 Re: I'm begging you for your prayers.

"And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of." Genesis 28:15

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I will hold you in my prayers.

 2008/1/23 1:18Profile

Joined: 2004/3/14
Posts: 56

 Re: I'm begging you for your prayers.

Brother, I can relate to what you are going through. I am going through the same things you are going through. The desires of my flesh so dominates myself that I feel incapable to even repent properly. All I can say is "Lord, help me."

I will keep you in prayer.

May our Lord bless you.


 2008/1/23 6:41Profile

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