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Joined: 2004/3/24
Posts: 1374

 An Open Letter of Apology and of Asking Your Forgiveness ...

This is an open letter of apology and the asking of your forgiveness to all you SI Forum members who know why i've posted this ...

Well here it is 2008 and the spiritual status at my church is still quo (no prophesied REVIVAL), as is the status of the US economy still "business as usual" ... It's taken quite some time for me to finally be brought to the realization that some knew earlier in my walk, and as many of you here on SI knew at this later date - that i'm no prophet ... i thank God that He's finally brought home to me that clarity, and am equally thankful to Him that in bro Ironman's case it took nowhere near as long ... i started out this New Year by promptly going thru my library and tossing everything on the subject that had to do with my own particular, now most thankfully past, delusion of NT prophet ...

i have caused unnecessary grief with what is surely now proven to be my nonsense here on the SI Forum and can only pray God that whatever glory He can recieve from my error be gleaned, and that Rom. 8:28 be worked out by Him to the benefit of you who've had to endure, as well as for bro Ironman, and for myself ... If there is one immediate benefit i can share it's that i now feel so much lighter in spirit, like when i used to walk two miles with 10 lb. ankle weights on each leg and then take them off ... Perhaps it's taken me 20+ years to finally become free of this now obviously self imposed burden to finally become able to understand that His yoke is light ... It's like recieving a third wind, which at 57 is a good wind to gain ... i kinda feel like Scrooge after he was finally made to realize the real meaning of Christmas ... i really did feel like i'd been on a hook for some 20+ years in all this, and now i've been re-leased ... It's like my slate has been totally erased clean of all my agendas and there's nothing left on it ...

Anyhow i don't think there's to much reason for me to rehash and drag this out any further in the intricates as they're already posted in other threads that you know about ... After this post my posting on SI will cease not in any attempts to make some kind of last grand exit, but because i really have nothing else to say - especially after making such proclamations in His name that weren't from Him ... Of course i've confessed this as sin, asked His forgiveness, and am content in 1 John 1:9, but it still doesn't stop the fact that apparently i don't rightly know the true voice of God in my own life so to me it's best to keep my mouth shut ... In fact as i stated before i hope bro Greg will find and strike ALL my threads, unless they might otherwise be of a better use as perhaps a road map of warning to others of how it can happen to a saint to get way past God to the point of attributing "words" to Him that aren't His ...

i thank God for His mercy, for Si Forum, and for you all because Holy Spirit via each and every one of you has taught me something toward this deliverance ...

So with 5 grandsons, 2 son-in-laws, and two old friends i've really neglected for the past couple of years (much due to the blighting intensity of my over zealousness), God willing i think we'll go a fishin' - literally ...

May our Lord Jesus continue to bless you all, and may He bring SI to the fullness of His purpose ---

 2008/1/2 8:12Profile

 Re: An Open Letter of Apology and of Asking Your Forgiveness ...

God Bless You
Please remember:
Matt 23:12
12 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
(from New International Version)

Not one of us are without fault and sin. Thanks to Jesus we have overcome the world. We are not perfect but we serve one who is. Brother I feel you would be an asset on SI should God lead you to return with more posts. This post touched my heart.

 2008/1/2 8:31

 Re: An Open Letter of Apology and of Asking Your Forgiveness ...


This post touched my heart.

As did mine.

 2008/1/2 8:41

Joined: 2007/1/30
Posts: 1230

 Re: An Open Letter of Apology and of Asking Your Forgiveness ...

I can remember two men of God that fell so agegiously I'm sure the devil himself threw a party.
One of them actually killed and totured christians.
When God showed him his errors He took him aside and"retrained him" , seeing something in him akin to king david. Greatness!
After this horrific fall in front of ALL the church he was not allowed to even be around the saints.
But then Jesus came! and a way was made for him to have audience with the saints.
This great man of God that fell so mightily went on to write much of the new testiment.

I'm almosst glad Paul fell! Arent you?

Oh by the way the other great man of God that also wrote some of the NT. ....Well, when he felt like his "light" went out he said "i think I will go fishing."
He didnt fish for long!

Arent you glad the early church army did't shoot their wounded?


 2008/1/2 9:36Profile

Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37105
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11


i thank God for His mercy, for Si Forum, and for you all because Holy Spirit via each and every one of you has taught me something toward this deliverance ...

Thank you for your honesty dear brother, you are loved and in our prayers.

SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2008/1/2 9:39Profile

Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re: An Open Letter of Apology and of Asking Your Forgiveness ...

HASTE, n.[/b]

1. Celerity of motion; speed; swiftness; dispatch; expedition; applied only to voluntary beings, as men and other animals; never to other bodies. We never say, a ball flies with haste.

The king's business required haste. l Sam.21.

2. Sudden excitement of passion; quickness; precipitance; vehemence.

I said in my haste, all men are liars. Psa 116.

3. The state of being urged or pressed by business; as, I am in great haste.



HASTILY, adv.[/b] [See Hasty.] In haste; with speed or quickness; speedily; nimbly.

Half clothed, half naked, hastily retire.

1. Rashly; precipitately; without due reflection.

We hastily engaged in the war.

2. Passionately; under sudden excitement of passion.


[i] Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;[/i] 1Ti 5:1


Have had this line running around the melon for the better part of the last year, can't recall if it ever escaped these bounds but ...

"[i]Is your forgiveness 2000 years old?[/i]"

In other words, it is so far past tense that it is a given ...

You must know the reason for placing 1 Tim here. All that has been said I pray has this understanding beneath it. It is redundant but it is rare and I want to say never do I leave here without some trepidation over anything that I have left, it carries with me into the hours and days beyond, hoping, praying that I have not brought my own reproach, that I have not erred even if it is but opinion or observation. These are weighty matters quite often and there is such a long, long way to go. A disciple is a learner, that truth, put that way recently in my travels as I found it, is that of experience and what also drives me onward, always after at, it never disappoints and I must add, especially here. We are blessed to have such a dichotomy of both experience and heart, different perspectives from different cultures and upbringing, trust I am not about to fall into the error of what much of the emerging business is forwarding by stating that ... What I do mean is ...

[i]And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation;[/i] Rev 5:9

If I may say this with all due respect brother I feel you have an obligation to [i]not[/i] leave here, that seems the easy way out for one, but it also goes beyond that. This is an opportunity for all of us and for whoever might be peering into these things to show forth just who and what we are made up of.

The cliché' like attribute we have all heard is that the scriptures are full of all the bumps and bruises, the very failures of Moses and Noah, David and Peter ... Nothing is hidden or covered, "warts and all" as it goes. So it is here and I think it is one of the greatest things we have as our very witness! We are not playing around with this thing, we are sincere even when we are sincerely mistaken! We own up to it, we face it, we deal with it, we allow ourselves some "shame facedness", some embarrassment and like the scriptures themselves do not go back and put some polish on it all to make it a bit more appealing to the masses. Just as well, it did occur to me their repentance was ... yes as Ron put it, [i]more notorious than their sin[/i].

So to answer your question\suggestion. Nope. We will leave all this as it is, it's healthy and I believe will be productive in the days ahead. I can attest and own up to all the embarrassing moments, posts and comments that I keep tripping over as I often go searching for links or articles here for either my own or others benefit. Embarrassing things! Some that make me want to almost leave off here and just go away forever, never to return. Some are enough to make me physically ill. A recent example is in regards to "Am I a wretched man ... still" post that I myself started. I had to beg off of it and the reason was I began to realize I really didn't know what I was talking about. Besides, it was 'out of season' the Lord has other things in mind it seems... Not all that pleasant but I digress.

Before I forget, I did not do real service to what you mentioned about this "weird faith" business. Of all people I would consider myself far more strange than most, but, it is difficult to say that when we all are a [i]peculiar people[/i] to begin with. Realize that is stretching the meaning there a bit. I absolutely love paradox and that I keep finding more and more true as I go along on this pilgrimage. May Greg forgive me, but he put something to me the other day in regards to a certain situation that would seem to be quite contrary, a shooting of oneself in the foot and the essence of it was [i]"This is Gods way ... the world does not understand.[/i]"

Haste and hastily.

[i]Rashly; precipitately; without due reflection.[/i]

I fear this brother, don't be rash. Take some time. Find the right time, but go back and re-read over all these things, read the recent reply from Clint. Take this all in and let it ... stew for awhile? IRONMAN as well if you are peering in here. Brothers you are, prophets perhaps not ... not [i]that kind[/i] of prophet. To your relief and ours ... But who knows, maybe prophets yet, prophets that can help from what they have learned to better express the truths of scripture, the kind of prophets we so desperately need in this hour.

We are not about to let you off the hook that easy. Lastly, for all the niceties and heart felt, heart meant things stated ... There is something troubling that this all might be made too simple and too easily brushed aside. I cannot measure it nor do I wish to ... Just something in this ... hasty ... arrangement that seems very fast being only one day after the fact. Hope you get my meaning here.

Mike Balog

 2008/1/2 10:19Profile

Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas


*post deleted*

Irrelevant to thread. Author humbly apologizes.

Paul Frederick West

 2008/1/2 10:41Profile


Seems to be a reocurring theme among some of us here lately. I've been re-examing many things concerning my walk with the Lord. My lack of love when responding to some here... my "over-zealousness", if you want to call it that.

I know what Rahman is going thru because the Lord began to work on me in much the same manner before the Holidays were upon us.

I, too, have many things to apologize and beg forgiveness for as well. Dont wish to steal the spotlight in this thread... so suffice it to say that God is at work in many hearts here.


 2008/1/2 11:10

Joined: 2007/1/30
Posts: 1230


Paul west, I only said Paul was a man of God not born again.
He was a man of God {pharisee of Pharisees to the law blameless]
John the baptist was also a man of God but also was not born again.
Again,my motive is to offer encouragement to my bretheren,who ,right now, prob. feel like.........


 2008/1/2 11:12Profile

Joined: 2007/1/21
Posts: 797


Rahman and Krispy, you aren't alone, the Lord has been working on me in this way too.

Thank you brothers for confessing and sharing how the Lord is working in your lives.



 2008/1/2 11:24Profile

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