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Discussion Forum : General Topics : My daughter friend's dad is a muslim?

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brentw
Member



Joined: 2005/12/14
Posts: 440
Ohio

 My daughter friend's dad is a muslim?

I need your help on this...

My neighbor across the street is a muslim and his wife isnt. They have a daughter that plays with mine 8 yrs old. Would you allow your daughter to play at their home or spend the night??

I wrestle with this alot. The muslims daughter comes over and never says anything about her dad.

What is your thoughts on this??


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Brent

 2007/12/27 20:49Profile
Miccah
Member



Joined: 2007/9/13
Posts: 1752
Wisconsin

 Re: My daughter friend's dad is a muslim?

Hard call. You never want to turn down a chance to witness the Word to others, but is an 8 year old child a good witness, or will she get witnessed to (in that house)? I have no doubts about your faith and your ability to defend it if neccesary, but do you have doubts about your daughters? She is young and impressionable. Do you want the impressions that she recieves to be about God or something not of God?

Not being in your shoes...I would say no. Of course, consult the Lord first. Tough situation for sure. Invite the other girl over to stay. this way you are not being a meanie to your daughter, but you are protecting her from the attacks of the enemy. I forgot in scripture where it says to 'not let false doctrines into your home', but this may be one of those times.

Your child and her salvation comes before others. Your house needs to be in order, and this could help bring disorder.

Hopefully that was helpfull. After reading it some, it may not be.

:-)


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Christiaan

 2007/12/27 21:12Profile









 Re: My daughter friend's dad is a muslim?

Hi brentw,

Is the other mother a Christian? It is ok for a Muslim man to marry a woman who is Christian or Jewish - any monotheistic faith - but not an idolatrous faith such as Hinduism.


As far as your daughter going over there to play, I would keep it quite strictly time-limited to a certain number of hours, such as two-ish, and be very faithful to your daughter to go over and bring her back - even though she is old enough to make the return on her own. I don't think she is old enough to be discerning about matters of faith, but she will be soon.

Nine is a good age for a child to begin to demonstrate spiritual intelligence with a faith other than that of their own family. Teachers and neighbours might not appreciate it, but keep at the back of your mind all the time, that they (any other family - not just one Muslim family - will feel no obligation whatsoever to keep your child pure or to protect her from their belief system), and won't think it's important. You're primary responsibility is for your own child.

When my children were younger, I had a very strict rule for school, which was that they could hear about any other religion with the class, but under [u]no[/u] circumstances were they to take part in [i]acting out[/i] any part of a myth, [i]take part[/i] in a Divali procession (festival of light - I know, mean of me they might have thought - it's so nice to get to hold that flame!) or eat food which had come to school from a special feast of some other faith, or, been made at school as part of a religious ritual.

I was not a popular parent with the Head, as I also insisted my child did not learn reading from a story about witchcraft, and he didn't attend morning 'prayers' either, because the message was so garbled and indistinct (deliberately, by them, you understand). This school had African masks on the wall in one classroom - not just for the time of discussion their place in a religion local to a member of the class, but for the whole year the kids were using the room as their base :roll: . I'm digressing because I want you to get a broader perspective....

So, back to your daughter's friend. For yourself, show a lot of respect to her, so she can take a good report about you, home.

I would definitely not allow sleepovers unless during all the times you go to collect your daughter, you have reassured yourself that the home is a safe place, and have begun to develop a personal friendship with the other parents.

If your wife does this, then you should support her in it so you can get to meet the man (who may not be comfortable mixing with your wife, out of respect to you). If anything 'wrong' happened at a sleepover, it's the sort of situation which is irretrievable for every single person in all those relationships - and that is completely avoidable.

Instead, if you're willing, you and your wife can supervise late nights,'midnight' feasts and all kinds of girly treats without the sleepover element just yet. This has the advantage that all four of you parents can sleep properly every night, also.

I have Muslims in my family, and worked in various situations with them. They are just ordinary people for the most part - warm, funny, friendly, having set social rules which simply everyone in their culture follows for the sake of everybody else (but well thought out), hardworking ... and genuinely concerned about the salvation of their souls... therefore always willing to do good things for other people, in the hope of balancing tha scale against sin and judgement.

Regarding your daughter's friend's silence about her father, if he is saying prayers five times a day (minimum), how many other people do you know who do this, and how much of a lemon do you suppose your daughter's friend feels?

What would you like her to say?

What does your daughter say about you to them?

Just be normal... but not naive.

Sorry if my reply seems to take this all too seriously. I would give the same advice about any cross-cultural situaion until you know what they consider 'normal'. Always give your daughter permission to bale out and if there would be nobody at home when she needed to bale out, a back-up arrangement with another neighbour or relative who will drop everything if your daughter needs that level of support.

I don't say this because I think there might be a problem, but the amount of peace of mind that a 'plan B' can bring, is disproportionate by a long way, and may never need to be implemented.
Plan B could contain a codeword or password, so that even if a host family wanted to keep your daughter there, she would be in control, knowing that the adult who would come for her would [u]insist[/u] on taking her back with them.

The adults can sort things out afterwards if there is anything to discuss.

 2007/12/27 21:54
jimp
Member



Joined: 2005/6/18
Posts: 1481


 Re: My daughter friend's dad is a muslim?

hi, your demonstration of Jesus living inside you should be that which assures your daughters loyalty and be a great witness for the other child. it is up to the adults to show the children through their example. jimp

 2007/12/28 2:24Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

My children are all grown. However, when they were young they had a friend whose father was dysfunctional, meaning he also drank to excess. We allowed our boys to visit in that home, going home with them for the night. They lived in the country and had a lot of fun things to do. The mother is a Christian.

In hindsight this is what I would do differently: I would not allow my boys to go home with this child. It is there where one learned to love alcohol. But I think, have to think more about this, I would allow him to visit in our home (but how can I be sure there would be no alcohol in his bag?) and would take greater pains to make friends with him. The boy is part Choctaw and has their characteristic of being shy around whites....

This is your child and you are responcible for her. It would be better to error on the side of caution then to be too free with questionable associates. I would also suggest your wife make friends with the mother of this child so you will know what you are dealing with. Perhaps this should be the first step before any serious decisions are made?

Just something to think about...

Blessings to you in your parenting - tough job.

ginnyrose


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Sandra Miller

 2007/12/28 9:56Profile





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