Poster | Thread | bigdaveusa Member
Joined: 2003/6/13 Posts: 49
| Divorce and Re Marriage | | I have met a girl and we have become very close. She is 42 and never married and I am 39 and married briefly and then divorced when I was 19. I was not a christian at the time, or some would say that I was a carnal christian, however I am a christian now. The question that I am faced with is: Am I allowed to re marry? This woman wants badly to marry me, and everyone is telling me that it's fine , but I have heard other views on the subject, and I really don't have a peace about it. I am hoping that my brothers and sisters here at SI can help me find an answer to my dilemma. Thanks....
:-? _________________ Dave
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| 2004/5/3 13:36 | Profile | rocklife Member
Joined: 2004/4/1 Posts: 323 usa
| Re: Divorce and Re Marriage | | Look up New Testament about that, and go with your conscience. We are disciples of Jesus, look up what Jesus says about that in his own words, like Matt 5:32, 19:8, Mark 10:2, Luke 16:18. The rest of the bible has other notes about God's perspective on divorce and remarriage.
Please, pray about this and research it yourself from the bible and Jesus. People will tell you what you want to hear, but Jesus is your Lord.
New Testament suggests being single is easier than marriage also.
I have researched this myself as I struggle in the divorce, remarriage issue also. You're not alone. I am living with the consequences for my actions, and am obeying what Scripture says about it. God will change circumstances in His time, He always does. _________________ Jina
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| 2004/5/3 15:37 | Profile | KeithLaMothe Member
Joined: 2004/3/28 Posts: 354
| Re: Divorce and Re Marriage | | That's quite a dilemma, I'm sorry you're put in this situation by a pre-conversion decision.
I'll be blunt about my own position: If a man and a woman marry, then divorce, neither can lawfully (by God's law) marry another person so long as both remain alive.
The only reason I believe that is because I believe the Scriptures teach it. If I had a good Scriptural argument for anything less harsh I'd probably leap for it.
Matthew 5 32 But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
The clause "except for the cause of fornication" has been interpreted (reasonably) to mean that if either person commits adultery then divorce is lawful and presumably remarriage as well (of the non-adulterating person, at least). I've heard, however, that Jesus was referring to the Jewish custom where if the woman fornicated during the espousal period, the engagement could be called off lawfully; nothing to do with sexual misconduct after the marriage had taken place. I think there's support for that interpretation in that Matthew has a more Jewish audience than the other 3 Gospels (right?), and Jesus' other statements on the matter do not include this exception clause.
Mark 10 11 And He said unto them, "Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
Luke 16 18 "Whosoever putteth away his wife and marrieth another committeth adultery; and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
I'd put more time into investigating this, and I'll ask a friend of mine who has been researching it, but right now I have to finish up a term project. Will pm you if I have anything worthwhile.
Again, the Scriptural evidence is the only reason I hold this position, it's definately not my natural preference, but we must obey God.
I shall pray for you, at the least. |
| 2004/5/3 19:32 | Profile | HakkaMin Member
Joined: 2004/4/12 Posts: 60 Taiwan
| Re: Divorce and Re Marriage | | Hi Dave,
I so appreciate your openness and desire to follow Jesus in this tough area. You might want to check out some MP3 teachings by Steve Gregg at www.thenarrowpath.com (Go to the "Tape Download" page and look under his "Towards A Radically Christian Counterculture." Teachings # 14 and 15 concern this whole issue of divorce and remarriage.) I think you'll appreciate Steve's thoroghness and integrity in searching for truth in the Word of God.
Bless you! _________________ Gregg Dennington
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| 2004/5/3 21:18 | Profile | KeithLaMothe Member
Joined: 2004/3/28 Posts: 354
| Re: | | That appears to be an [b]excellent[/b] site, thank you for the link.
I didn't listen to the mp3, but I read the (long) "topical article" on "Divorce and Remarriage". I'm going to think about it and discuss it some people more mature in the faith than I, but the author makes a very good Biblical case for permissible divorce and remarriage in a limited set of cases.
Some of the more conservative churches might not be so understanding, which is regrettably a necessary consideration, but one cannot generally please everyone else. |
| 2004/5/3 23:57 | Profile | 5nva Member
Joined: 2003/8/15 Posts: 179
| Re: | | I just wanted to pose a question to perhaps make us consider things a bit more on the subject.
If two people are married and have not been "saved", "born again", get divorced and then one or both get "saved", has not Jesus forgiven them of the sin of divorce as well and forgotton about it? Have they not begun a new life in Christ Jesus, old things passed away and all things made new?
If the sin of divorce hangs over a persons head after they have been saved then why wouldn't other sins.
Mike _________________ Mike
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| 2004/5/4 8:45 | Profile | KeithLaMothe Member
Joined: 2004/3/28 Posts: 354
| Re: | | Quote:
Have they not begun a new life in Christ Jesus, old things passed away and all things made new?
If the sin of divorce hangs over a persons head after they have been saved then why wouldn't other sins.
That's something to clarify, yes, but the problem is elsewhere. If the first marriage was not actually (according to God's reckoning) dissolved, then marrying another person is adultery because it's being married to two people at once. The sin of divorce is forgiven (there's the matter of restitution, like when a thief gets saved and returns what he still has of the stolen goods, but I'll leave that alone for now), but entering into adultery is still a sin.
That article gives a pretty good Biblical case for a marriage in this situation being actually dissolved, though. |
| 2004/5/4 8:53 | Profile | moreofHim Member
Joined: 2003/10/15 Posts: 1632
| Re: divorce/remarriage | | Also, did you read his own testimony (narrowpath)? He has been married 3 times. At first glance this seems like a tragedy but after you read the testimony you see that not all circumstances are the same.
In Him, chanin _________________ Chanin
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| 2004/5/4 9:04 | Profile | earnestlycontend Member
Joined: 2003/11/23 Posts: 69 Flinstone, GA
| Re: | | Thanks for the link. I think he does a thorough, clear job in writing. _________________ Kendal Shipley
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| 2004/5/4 22:11 | Profile | rocklife Member
Joined: 2004/4/1 Posts: 323 usa
| Re: | | Adding another scripture I came across today, is 1 Cor 7:10, the whole chapter goes over marriage, divorce. etc. Reading it shows me God does not support remarriage very much, but I am a woman, so maybe that can be a loophole.
I haven't found new testament scripture that does support remarriage outside of death and adultery. I could be wrong, but I have researched this quite a bit, and haven't found it, because of Mark 10:11 Jesus says something very clear "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
Matt 19:9 Jesus says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
That is the only provision besides death that I have found for godly divorce. It doesn't even mention if remarriage after adultery is okay, I haven't found Scripture to elaborate on remarriage. But Mark says if you remarry, you're committing adultery, so that's what I think is right. There really isn't provision for remarriage, just divorce. And Rev 21:8 says adulterers are going in the lake of fire, so this isn't a light thing. Please pray and follow God's teachings about this, He has some hard things to say about it.
_________________ Jina
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| 2004/5/5 3:32 | Profile |
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