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BrokenOne
Member



Joined: 2007/6/7
Posts: 429
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

 A former believer's wedding

Several years ago I met a young woman at a ladies Bible study I was leading. She had recently accepted Christ. I invested a lot of time into teaching her the things of God and we became friends. She had a very rough past and a difficult family life and eventually she fell away from Christ and headlong back into the world. After a time, she got tired of the partying life and settled down a bit, but has not (yet) returned to Christ. Now she has decided to get married to the man she is living with. When she told me this I had a very in depth discussion with her about the commitment of marriage and what an important decision this was and that I thought she would do much better to find her way back to Christ first and then see what He would have her do. But her mind was made up and she got mad at me for not being happy for her, but I felt like I had to tell her the truth and I did.

A couple of weeks later she called and asked me to be her maid of honor. It is going to be a very small wedding and I will be the only one standing with her.

There are several other believers who developed a friendship with her through the Bible study, but as I have talked to them about the wedding, they are not going because they don’t approve of what she’s doing. As for me, I feel like she is making a mistake in her choice, but then again, what do I know??? This could be the very thing that brings her back to Christ. And I am standing in her wedding because I want her to know that I love her even when I don’t agree with her.

I guess I have been surprised by the response I’ve gotten from other believers and would like to hear if anyone else has faced a similar situation.


_________________
Danielle

 2007/6/16 13:44Profile
LoveHim
Member



Joined: 2007/6/14
Posts: 562
Indiana, US

 Re: A former believer's wedding

I CANNOT SAY THAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH THAT SITUATION, BUT I CAN SAY THAT I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO LOVE HER AND BE THERE FOR HER THROUGH THE TOUGH TIME SHE IS GOING THROUGH.. YOU WILL ALWAYS REMIND HER OF GOD'S UNFAILING LOVE FOR HER AS YOU HOLD TO YOUR CONVICTIONS, BUT STILL LOVE THROUGH THE TURNING BACK SHE HAS DONE..

HAS GOD NOT LOVED US THROUGH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT???

 2007/6/16 13:52Profile
strawrifle
Member



Joined: 2007/2/3
Posts: 139
uk

 Re: A former believer's wedding

You should go!! show her love and friendship..

If the marriage is a mistake, she's going to make it anyhow,what better that you her friend stood with her through thick and thin? you think Christ wont be there? i think He is!!

andy


_________________
andy

 2007/6/19 14:13Profile









 Re:

I would go to and be there for her... but you said:

Quote:
She had recently accepted Christ.



Although she may have "accepted Christ", it is doubtful that this women was ever born again...

In Christ - Jim

 2007/6/19 14:28
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7470
Mississippi

 Re: A former believer's wedding

BrokenOne,

Attending a wedding indicates you approve of the match. Since this is not the case, seems to me you would do well to not attend, much less be a bridesmaid. This is what you feel in your spirit you should do, is it not?

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2007/6/19 22:42Profile
crsschk
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 A wedding

Quote:
And I am standing in her wedding because I want her to know that I love her even when I don’t agree with her.



That she would still have you do this after all that you spoke to her ... Telling, I believe. Recently went through something a bit different yet similar, only this was for a funeral, in a Catholic church, for my mother.

Do as the Lord would lead, you are making the statement well here.


_________________
Mike Balog

 2007/6/19 23:00Profile
BrokenOne
Member



Joined: 2007/6/7
Posts: 429
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

 Re:

Quote:
This is what you feel in your spirit you should do, is it not?



Ginnyrose,

I read your reply last night but waited until this morning to respond. I didn’t want the purpose of my reply to be to justify my action. I felt it was necessary to let your question cause a searching of my heart rather than to immediately respond with the answer that first came to my heart. So after careful consideration, I can truthfully say that I have felt no reservation about participating in the wedding.

I believe very strongly in standing for Christ, in separation from the world unto Him, in striving for holiness in my life. But I don’t ever want to be so far removed from people that I am not able to demonstrate the love of Christ to them. And that is what I want to do for my friend.

I guess the reason this is such a big deal to me is because that’s how I got saved. Someone that I had treated very badly in the past, showed me undeserved kindness. When I asked why, he said, “Danielle, it’s the love of God”. For 3 days I wept over the love of God.

And I believe with all my heart that God is not finished with her yet and there remains a glorious work to be done in her. I want to be around to see it.

Blessings to you, Ginnyrose. Thank you for your post.

Thank you as well to everyone else who posted a response. I have so appreciated each one.

And crsschk…..I am sorry about your mother.

Danielle


_________________
Danielle

 2007/6/20 5:35Profile









 Re: love vs compromise?

Hi Danielle

From what I have read of your posts you are not presumptuous in calling yourself "Broken One".

It's always a difficult decision in these kinds of cases. I'm sure you have made the right one, with the Lord's direction.

After all, your friend knows where you stand morally and spiritually. And the fact that you are also standing by [i]her[/i] need not take away from your stand in the Lord.

At least she is getting married, rather than still "living together", as so many - even "decent" folks - do these days.

Ginnyrose, I also believe that you were right to warn - it is so easy to compromise. I hope Danielle's response reassures you. Maybe it was necessary to say what you said, to cause our sister to go back to Him for confirmation.

Not long ago I was in the position of compromising on Truth without realising it. I was looking after a Muslim gentleman, and they are such a lovely family - I learned something of their language and got to calling the old father (a wonderful old gent, though he has dementia) their word for "Daddy".

But I became too emotionally close to them, loved them too much in a human fashion, and unknowingly ceased to stand for Truth. They loved me too, and grew to look to me instead of to my Lord (as I realised eventually).

He showed me that I had in some sense "absorbed" spiritually something of the "atmosphere" of that Muslim home, instead of standing for the true God. So I had to leave.

Blessings

Jeannette

 2007/6/20 10:21
AWA40-2
Member



Joined: 2006/6/7
Posts: 24


 Re: A former believer's wedding

I think and believe You should Go.

1 John Chapter 3

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don't know God, so they don't understand that we are his children. Yes, dear friends, we are already God's children, and we can't even imagine what we will be like when Christ returns. But we do know that when he comes we will be like him as he really is. And all who believe this will keep themselves pure, just as Christ is pure.

I would walk in with my bible so that when i hug them i have the word of God in my hands, Ha someone once told me to do that :-P

 2007/6/20 10:50Profile
Koheleth
Member



Joined: 2005/11/10
Posts: 530
NC

 Re: A former believer's wedding

Quote:
Attending a wedding indicates you approve of the match.



I do not believe that is necessarily true. To begin, I have observed many people wrestle with questions about this very type of situation and come to different conclusions.

The "wrestling" is what everyone has to come through when convictions and people are part of a question. Will this compromise our witness for Christ? Will it damage the truth? Is it loving? Etc.

The answer for each situation will differ because God is working out his will and is using us to reach people, to be a part of their lives exclusively for Jesus! So, there is the vital need to be led by the Spirit, to be intimately wrapped up in God to get his answers for questions like these.

 2007/6/20 12:23Profile





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