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 To Marry Or Not To Marry?

In the Old Testament, everything seems to be glorious!

"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him." "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth."

In the New Testament, everything seems to be horribly gloomy and depressing.

"For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven." "And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come." "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife."

In the New Testament, did Jesus still believe that "It is not good that the man should be alone"? This is really bothering me. I cannot seem to see in the New Testament, the same that I see in the Old Testament.
I'm wondering because I desire to marry this girl and she desires to marry me. I'm only 17 and she's only 17. We realize how short our lives are; how at any moment we could be snatched into eternity.

Any thoughts?

 2007/6/8 3:07
enid
Member



Joined: 2006/5/22
Posts: 2664
Nottingham, England

 Re: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

Here are a few thoughts on the subject.

Gen 1v28, 'Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it...

When did that change?

You have already mentioned Gen 2v18, it's not good for man to be alone.

God hasn't changed that, as far as I know.

Matt 8v14, 'Now when Jesus had come into Peter's house, He saw his wife's mother lying sick with a fever'.

Peter was married, and remained so.

1 Cor 9v5, 'Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brother of the Lord, and Cephas?

Cephas, Peter, was obviously still married.

The brothers of the Lord, James and Jude, were married. Possibly his two other brothers, Simon and Judas were married, Matt 13v55, but they have never been mentioned among the apostles or believers.

And the apostle Paul asks in 1 Cor 9v5-6 if he and Barnabas have no right to take a believing wife.

Also, Matt 19v1-12 is a good explanation of marriage. It is Jesus speaking concerning marriage and divorce.

Marriage is from God, no one else. It was His idea in the first place.

Hence, what God has joined together, let no man seperate, Matt19v6.

It is a deep matter to consider, and not to be taken lightly.

Others will give their perspective on the matter.

But ultimately, God has the final say.

Seek God for guidance and direction.

God bless.

 2007/6/8 4:30Profile









 Re:

I agree with Enid... and I would add that at 17 y'all should not be in a hurry. A lot of changes are fixing to happen in your lives between now and 21.

When I was 17 I thought I knew what I wanted out of life too... I didnt know nuthin'.

Krispy

 2007/6/8 8:21
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7472
Mississippi

 Re:

Krispy wrote:

Quote:
When I was 17 I thought I knew what I wanted out of life too... I didnt know nuthin'.



This happens to all who have the fortune to grow to maturity. Even my 25 YO daughter said that...not much difference between 17 and 25 is there?

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2007/6/8 9:07Profile
crsschk
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

Think you are making a wrong dichotomy here brother. Read the areas and issues of marriage in their context. The verses you took as excerpts have much more to say, if you wanted to summarize those you have taken out I would add;

1Co 7:17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

As it sits squarely in the middle of much of this matter and;

Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

Mat 19:11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

Mat 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Again as part of the greater context.

But I would have you very sober and serious over this tremendous matter and if you have been tracking with much of the discussion in recent days there has been quite the focus on marriage, re-marriage, divorce ...

What you have to be prepared for is a life of sacrifice that transcends your present emotions and feelings. Would to God that I could better express the finality of it all, that is the mindset you must have going in, going on and ultimately [i]till death do us part[/i]. Study the vows that were created by someone who understood the honorable demands that are inherent in the institution created by God Himself. It is for life my brother and you both must be rightly related to the Lord first and foremost, see that the same commitment to Him is in no ways different than the one to each other. There can be no selfishness and all the exceptional clauses and side issues being discussed here, these aberrations as if they are non-existent.

It can be a wonderful, God glorifying life even in the most adverse circumstances, [i]in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer[/i] if the Lord indeed makes you one flesh which is precisely what you will become by giving yourselves to each other in His providence. The Lord joins you together and that is emphatically why the great note of [i]let no man separate[/i].

Study this out patiently and prayerfully, there are some wonderful messages here on the Holy Institution. Scroll through the ones from [url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=144&min=60&orderby=titleA&show=20]Keith Daniel[/url] for starters.

Do heed the admonishen to take your time, but ultimately it is only that which you can determine by much prayer and understanding of the Lord's will. Be [i]convinced[/i] of it brother and do not move until you have been. Count the cost, have faith in God.


_________________
Mike Balog

 2007/6/8 9:42Profile









 Re:

Some lovely comments here, Mike. The reminder "till death us do part" struck me afresh.

I have worked with devoted couples, of whom one has dementia. The well husband or wife suffers greatly, from the terrible stress, both physical and emotional, of looking after a loved one who is often nothing like the person they married.

"in sickness and in health", for life?

Taken rightly, marriage is a wonderful gift of God; but, being single (like me!) is also a gift. Even though [i][u]as a general rule[/u][/i], "it is not good for man to be alone"

But I don't understand why either state should be called "gloomy"

In the Old Testament, Jeremiah was told not to get married (Jer 16:2).

And some in the Babylonian captivity were probably indeed "made eunuchs by men" (it was a common practice in those days, much as men nowadays often do to prize racehorses, so they will be free of distractions). There is no record of Nehemiah, or Daniel and his friends ever being married, so it could be that this was their state. Also the Ethiopian in Acts 8; he was the Queen's "Chancellor of the Exchequor" - a really top job!

I think being single is great! But that's because it's God's choice for my life.

Don't be in such a hurry! Wait God's time, and make sure, from Him, that this girl really is His choice for you, and you for her.


Blessings


Jeannette

 2007/6/8 15:25
Isaiah64
Member



Joined: 2006/9/27
Posts: 85


 Re: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

Quote:
I'm wondering because I desire to marry this girl and she desires to marry me. I'm only 17 and she's only 17. We realize how short our lives are; how at any moment we could be snatched into eternity.



If you're considering marriage here is a list of sermons on the subject that I would highly recommend:

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=253&min=20&orderby=titleA&show=20]Denny Kenaston--Godly Courtship Series[/url]

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=13055&commentView=itemComments](Biblical Manhood) -evening banquet[/url] by Paul Washer

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=13054&commentView=itemComments](Biblical Manhood) -morning brunch[/url] by Paul Washer

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=13918&commentView=itemComments]Dating Sermon[/url] by Paul Washer

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=14246&commentView=itemComments](The Glory of God) In Marriage[/url] by Paul Washer

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=14408&commentView=itemComments]Destroying Pop-Christian Views of Marital Bliss - Part 1[/url] by Paul Washer

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=14409&commentView=itemComments]Destroying Pop-Christian Views of Marital Bliss - Part 2[/url] by Paul Washer

 2007/6/8 18:03Profile
theopenlife
Member



Joined: 2007/1/30
Posts: 926


 Marriage

Quote:
In the New Testament, everything seems to be horribly gloomy and depressing.



"For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven."

Gloomy? Depressing!? How about, total freedom to worship God without bodily hindrances and present desires? Marriage to Christ and complete fufillment!

"And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come." I must suppose he was a tragically faithless excuse-maker, because marriage certainly did not stop Peter or others of the apostles that Paul mentioned being married.

I'm excited to be married if it's God's will! Perhaps the Lord will yet cut the ropes of desire so that I may serve with more efficiency in roles that married men cannot.

Presently He is sustaining me in abstainence and allowing me to enjoy the possibility of marriage.

 2007/6/8 18:23Profile









 Re: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

paulmcg1 said

Quote:
In the New Testament, did Jesus still believe that "It is not good that the man should be alone"? This is really bothering me. I cannot seem to see in the New Testament, the same that I see in the Old Testament.
I'm wondering because I desire to marry this girl and she desires to marry me. I'm only 17 and she's only 17. We realize how short our lives are; how at any moment we could be snatched into eternity.



First, you need to listen to Paul Washer's advice on dating and marrying [url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=13918]Paul Washer on Dating[/url]

Second, Jesus had plenty of advice for folks that were thinking about being celibate or getting married in Matthew 19. Certain blessings come with marriage and certain blessings with remaining celibate. But we must count the costs associated with each.

As an example:

Celibacy pros - quiet; contemplative; less work needed to survive; more time for prayer, bible study, research, preaching; mobile (no family holding one down); less risk if missioning in dangerous locations (no family to miss you, or miss your income if you die for Jesus); love for God, strangers, and the poor is not compromised by love for family; relying entirely on God for true intimacy, love, and power;

Celibacy cons - no physical intimacy with a wife/husband; no loving man or woman to grow old with; miss out on all the strengths of the opposite sex; your genes die with you; no children to play with under the Christmas Tree; no family dinners, family reunions; risk being ostracized for being single;

The sermon I included here is really, really good. I wish I had heard it when I was your age.

 2007/6/8 18:32
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

First, you need to listen to Paul Washer's advice on dating and marrying Paul Washer on Dating


I also agree very good to listen to.

Family is important, have you talk with your father?

In his love
charlene


_________________
charlene

 2007/6/8 19:01Profile





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