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Discussion Forum : General Topics : what about driving in a car with a guy?

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Here4Him
Member



Joined: 2006/9/23
Posts: 212
England

 Re:

I said:

Quote:
Why would you want to do such a think KingJimmy? are you mad?



King Jimmy said:

Quote:
Who said I wanted to do such a thing? My fiance and I have had a very overwhelming schedule of late, and have had little chance to really have time alone and talk and just enjoy each other's company. I was thinking of taking her to the coast to spend a day out there, but decided not to do such once I realized just how long the trip was, and such would have required an overnight stay somewhere. So, I decided it was not such a great idea.



My friend im sorry if i was a little harsh, i was just suprised as to why you were trying to justify it by scripture with that example (which as Krispy pointed out Joseph and Mary took that trip when they were married). I think i reacted the way i did brother because i know how careful i need to be in this area, so please understand.

We all should be careful in this area and seek to protect ourselves. But am i saying for example it would be wrong for you to go for a day trip to the beach or a picnic with your fiance? I'm not sure i am saying that. I guess you have to decide that between you and the Lord-it's your relationship with Him that counts after all. But do be careful brother, dont think it impossible that you could fall in this area. The devil would be only too delighted to see you fall with your fiance before you are married. He wants to destroy you, he walks around this earth seeking to devour. Lets just be very watchful, and very sensible, ok? I am sure you already are, i hope so.


_________________
George Platt

 2007/5/2 17:32Profile
ccchhhrrriiisss
Member



Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4489


 Re:

Hi Here4Him...

Quote:
I guess you have to decide that between you and the Lord-it's your relationship with Him that counts after all.

Exactly. I make no apology for taking my then-fiance on a two hour trip to her parents. It is a good thing for a believer to express their concern, but not to express their own opinion as if it is the only one that counts. The important thing is to refrain from "jumping to conclusions" or "expecting the worst" from any believer who does such.
Quote:
But do be careful brother, dont think it impossible that you could fall in this area. The devil would be only too delighted to see you fall with your fiance before you are married. He wants to destroy you, he walks around this earth seeking to devour. Lets just be very watchful, and very sensible, ok? I am sure you already are, i hope so.

Good advice! I don't see how a driving trip can easily can turn into such blatant and sexual evil, but I suppose that it could happen. One should be careful and prayful: Not only is there a possible opportunity for evil, but worldy-minded individuals are prone to believe the worst.

:-(


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Christopher

 2007/5/2 20:01Profile
KingJimmy
Member



Joined: 2003/5/8
Posts: 4419
Charlotte, NC

 Re:

Quote:

Which trips? When they traveled to Bethlehem they were husband and wife.



Now, now, let's not have sloppy Scripture reading :-) After your post, I considered that perhaps I had mis-spoken in regard to these things. However, if you look at Luke 2 closely, you will see Joseph and Mary were not yet married in any of their trips.

In Luke 2:5, when Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem, we read they were still just engaged. And after the birth of Christ, they went to Jerusalem 8 days later to present Christ at the temple. Still, they would have been unmarried. In fact, they would have been merely just engaged until they could consummate the marriage, so, factor in another couple weeks so that Mary could recover. For Matthew makes it clear that Joseph kept her a virgin until after the birth of Christ (Matt 1:25).

Now, I know "engagement" in Jewish culture is more significant than it is in ours. So much so that Joseph had considered giving Mary a writ of divorce when he discovered she was with child. However, they were not still considered fully married.


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Jimmy H

 2007/5/2 22:41Profile
babyVivian
Member



Joined: 2007/3/21
Posts: 3
Southern California, LA ,OC,SD

 Re: what about driving in a car with a guy?

I am a female engineer, I have situations where I am the only woman in department of 40 engineers, and I am been an instructor training oftenly an whole entire male class.

It is up to an individual take the effort to protect your name and also others.
I ve been told that Billy Graham would not even share an elevator with another woman within.

To whom much is given, much is required.

There is an situation where I and a male engineer were assigned to fulfil a job, 4 hours drive.

I would not do car pool trying to save gas, I drove up on my own and stay in a different hotel then the other male coworker, I only see him in the clients' office for work.

Sometimes, even there might be nothing indecent happened but people would spread rumours out of a suspicious situaton. then if my coworker was married, then he also was marked.

When I am an instructor, I would have to coach sometimes one on one to a male engineer, I am always aware am I completely alone with one man in the classroom, otherwise I would have to change to a more public venue. Even with more then one person in the room, I always keep the door open to keep things proper. I dont have lunch with only one male student, I always have lunch w a group of them, if not I would have lunch on my own.

Don't comprimise situation even if it cost more money or you might feel lonely, jesus is on the trip, if I am travelling alone, it is great time to spend with God, listening to sermons etc..

This is how i protect my profession and the name of my company, and also the name of my coworkers.

I think in church work the same things applies.

Vivian

:-D


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Vivian

 2007/5/3 5:43Profile









 Re:

Quote:
Now, I know "engagement" in Jewish culture is more significant than it is in ours. So much so that Joseph had considered giving Mary a writ of divorce when he discovered she was with child. However, they were not still considered fully married.



You're hanging on a technicality. Because they hadnt had sex yet you're saying they were not lawfully married... to which I have to concede. However as you noted, they were in a state of legal and cultural bounds in which they needed a divorce in order to be relieved from them.

They were not merely boy and girl on a trip... they were not even as an engaged couple in this society we live in, where all they have to do is say "the weddings off!" and they walk away.

They needed to divorce to end the relationship.

Again, KJ, I contend that it's apples to oranges.

Also, when they traveled to Bethlehem, and when they traveled to Jerusalem, they were far from being "alone". They would have been in a crowd of hundreds traveling there at the same time.

They did not travel alone, as people do today... secluded in a car, staying in a locked room at a hotel, etc etc.

And they were legally and religiously bound to one another. Scripture is not clear, but it is safe to assume that the reason they did not consumate the union was because she was carrying God inside her womb... and either it was commanded of Joseph, or he did it out of reverence.

In my way of thinking, this does not apply to what has been asked on this thread.

Krispy

 2007/5/3 7:43









 Re:

Vivian... what a great post! Welcome to the forum.

It is great to see such virtue. I hope everyone takes time to really read what you wrote.

Krispy

 2007/5/3 7:47
babyVivian
Member



Joined: 2007/3/21
Posts: 3
Southern California, LA ,OC,SD

 Re:

You are welcome, Krispy.
I really miss North Carolina, I used to work in IBM Raleigh research Triangle in NC, I can still close my eyes and remember how beautiful North Carolina was. :-D


_________________
Vivian

 2007/5/3 7:59Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

I think after reading all your post and praying I think it is best I am not alone with any boy in a car. YOu are right we have to do what it takes to be prue. To keep ourselves safe, and keep our heart guarded.


There wouldn't be a promble if Boy would act like men and leave? or Is the girl to say something?

Thanks
in his love
charlene


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charlene

 2007/5/5 18:19Profile
vico
Member



Joined: 2005/5/25
Posts: 258


 Re: what about driving in a car with a guy?

1Timothy 5:1-2 "Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;
The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity."

"...the younger as sisters, with all purity"

I realize that in the context Paul is addressing times of rebuke but i think that it would be safe to carry this over into the other areas of life as well.
As the body of Christ we aught to treat all older men even as we would our own fathers, the older women as mothers, with love and respect, and the younger women as sisters, with all purity.

Look at the two sides, a seeming paradox, or contradiction; First: To treat the younger women as sisters. Now that seems a little too close, don't you think? Most would view that as below the conservative standard. If you're not virtually shunning a girl, you're defrauding her, right? Paul says here that a young man is to treat the younger women as sisters, and this is true, and we should not treat them as anything less. To treat them as anything lower than a sister is below the standard of Christian living, below the standard of true Christian love. We must be sure that we don't throw this aspect of Christian guy/girl relationships out. Think about what that means, "as a sister" I'll leave that between you and God as to what that entails.

Secondly: "With all purity." Just like the first point, this one can be taken out of context and to an extreme. But Paul exhorts the young man Timothy to treat all younger women with ALL purity. To do otherwise would be to go beyond and defraud. In our relationships with the opposite sex, we need to make sure that we live above reproach, and to flee youthful lusts, that anyone speaking evil of us would be ashamed, knowing that we follow after righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Evil claims could never stand against one like that, because his light is shining forth out of a pure heart.

These two must be coupled together. If you are not treating younger women as sisters, you are not relating to them in the proper Christian way, and you are just as much in the wrong as the one who does not relate to them in purity. And, you must relate to them in a pure way, not giving any occasion to the flesh to stumble, and thereby blaspheme the name of God among the unbelievers.

So, in summery, as a young man I will treat every Christian woman as a sister, and nothing less than that. I will not set a standard as to what that means, God does not, so i will not either. And, I will treat them in every pure way, (Remember, as the brother said, 'to the pure, all things are pure' the pure will not allow for any impurity.)
to the honor and praise of God.

As we behold Christ, the Lamb of God, He will reveal His will and ways to us. So let us behold Him.

In Christ,
~vico

 2007/5/5 21:29Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

I think this is very true!
Brothers need treat young women as sisters, nothing less, or more

Vico thanks for what you wrote it was Good.
In his love
charlene


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charlene

 2007/5/6 23:15Profile





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