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awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 In the beginning, he knew my plans.. My story

In the beginning, he knew my plans before time began. So as the universe lay dark without a glimmer of light. He thought to make me, what an undescribable thought to know I was made with an intricate plan. He wove and molded me within my mother’s womb. I was perfectly and wonderfully made by the hands of the all mighty God. It would seem right that one might fear and marvel at our maker that I was made by. I was born with the seed of death. Long before I was formed, God made a man and a woman who were perfect without blame, they were to live with God walk and talk with him. To imagine such a thing is far beyond my comprehension. That one might walk with God. Yet God wanted those he made, to worship and enjoy him forever he didn’t make robots. But those with mindful hearts to follow him. So he tested them and placed a tree of good and evil, telling Adam and Eve do not eat from it or you will die. He placed this to see if they would obey. They had the finest choices of food. Yet they chose to eat from it, believing the lies of the enemy who had persuaded them Satan said” did God say you really would die? The woman took it and saw it to be good so she gave some to her husband, later God called out for them and they hid, and they covered their nakedness, God said why are you covered? God knew their actions, yet they blamed each other. So the end of the perfect relationships with God was severed by their own sin. So as I was born I possessed this seed, without knowledge, of the wrath of God . If I did not seek after God to restore the broken relationship with him, I was doomed for eternity in hell. My life was on a path separate from my true Father. All Gods children are separated from their heavenly father and some are entangled, but God seeks his lost children and calls them home. Restoration was made by the blood of Christ.God took the broken relationship and restored it through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Everyone has fallen short of the glory of God and has sinned or broken his holy law. God in his holiness cannot live with sin and so God demands a righteousness to get into heaven. Thru the death of Christ our sins are paid for.



My parents were always fighting and yelling at each other. My heart ached, how could they be in so much agony? Why would she leave? I remembered, the many times before when I had seen my mother running from the church, as though they had hurt her. She had rushed off in the trees to cry away her sadness, and frustration. Then shortly after, she would see her father yelling out for her mother. I was far too young to understand how the church swayed my mother and father, to believe twisted and manmade lies, for their own gain. They were too blinded to see the destruction it was causing in their marriage. Now in hope to restore the damage, they packed their bags and moved far away. But unresolved, bitterness, anger, unforgivness, ate away at the core of their hearts, leaving many wounds, that were torn open. Without proper care, infections began making the whole family deathly sick. So in their story they held to bitter pain, never dealing with the problems. My mother was done, we packed our bags and moved to Flagstaff,
Rage filled me at the thought of leaving.

.





The years passed from eight to twelve and by now. My mother had got remarried and had two more children. Shortly after my mother’s remarriage my father became very bitter and turned from God, and substituted him for beer. My mother also spent some time holding on to the past memories of what had happened, and had hardened heart. She searched for a new church but none could offer hope to her despair. By the time I was fifteen my mother struggled with her health, which left her in and out of hospital for two long years. My mother tired many time to take her life. There one time I tired to stop her, the cops were called on us. I always feared that there would be one night she wouldn't come home from work. After many test the started helping her. Me and mother were always yeling at each other. At seventeen I had an opportunity to move with a friend in Flagstaff. I was still continuing my education when I found myself going to another friend’s house. It was my junior year and I had met this guy. He seemed be a nice guy and I began to go out with him. We were often at parties drinking and socializing. He asked me the junior prom I was so excited what girl won’t be. The prom was what I had expected it to be. But it was short, we had only stayed for an hour. There was a after prom parties to be at. We ended up at a hotel party. Where I drank so much that I blacked out leaving me vulnerable. Some things happened that night I would never erase from my mind, as is branded in my memory. I had felt so ashamed that I had let myself get into that situation. After my experience I was so ashamed, and never said anything to anyone. I had felt that it was my fault so I continued in the relationship. It wasn’t until I thought that I was pregnant and that he told me to get an abortion when it all came crashing down on me. The relationship was over and it had turned out that I wasn’t pregnant after all. This seemed to be the beginning of my snowball slowly adding one trial after another. Shortly after, my stepbrother was in a serious car accident which left him paralyzed. This left me questioning the very essence of God, how could he let this happen. The next three months I cried myself to sleep. What was life worth living for? I cried out "if you are real God, can there be a love that is real and dosn't stop? I questioned what would happen if I died. I decided to move in with my brother and help him out. He had a roommate who was a Christian and on a beautiful summer evening and he offered me to go play frisbee. I gladly accepted and found this rewarding . He poured out kindness that I was not accustom to. He invited me to church on Sunday evening to the college group. My experience in the past instantly made me put up a red flag, the God I had known was a mean vicious God. I had been to church and it was always negative. I was very fearful feeling condemned, but that day that was different. The praise and worship seemed to resinate in my heart. The words that I was hearing were in fact true, God was real, Jesus was real it all started to make perfect sense.
My ears were opened, I could hear. My eyes were open to see the cross. At that very moment I was empowered by the Holy Spirit.God placed on my heart that my life was now his. Changes were on my horizon my sins had been washed away and behold a new creation stood in this church. I began hugging everyone being filled with excitement and zeal. He put it on my heart I was to RUN for Him. He told me that He was the love that I was looking for. This was start of my love story of me and my king. It was my hearts cry that I would love more everyday. That day I felt it with great extreme. From that very moment he put in my heart the commitment to know him better. Better than I knew myself for the worldly desires had only left me with heart ache. My hunger for truth grew and grew I often found myself lost in scripture. My passion and fire to seek him was overwhelming. So after me getting saved God brought me through my stepbrother dying, my father also dying and reconciling the relationship that had been devastated in the past before he left. There has been a sweeter gift getting to Know my earthy father before he died. I didn't want to forgive my father I didn't like him, He left me. But God called to love Him. Three long years I was by my father side. Each year we got closer and closer. It was two weeks before he died that we had a weekend to ourselves that we just loved each other. God can taken what was broken and bring healing. Also with my own personal trials, a diagnosis of type one diabetes
and chronic fatigue. I have been sick for 3 years. I still struggle today with my health.
I know it has been a bitter sweet gift from God, I have grown and become closer to my God through it. I wasn't allowed to be a Missionay due to my health.This was my life passion, to be over sea. Sometimes we have to let our dreams die, and He give us new ones. He has broken me down and remolded me with a heart that leaps for the salvation of America. My heart now weeps for America. Before my good friend went to China, I told her I would pray for her, and try to get others to pray to. It was hardest ministry I had ever done. I have wept when I was the only one at the prayer meeting. I would of gave up, but God said no keep going. This gave me a deep passion for pray. It has been a constant growth process with growing pains and many benefits, passion for prayer, there is no boasting in my accomplishments he deserves all the glory. If it wasn’t for his intervention I would still be on the path of destruction, he called me and I answered ,I will forever glorify his name.
I love how each of our story are differnt what a good God we live for. I know God has much more for me to learn. I cry out here I am send me, use me, I am yours.
In His love
charlene












_________________
charlene

 2007/4/20 1:37Profile
UniqueWebRev
Member



Joined: 2007/2/9
Posts: 640
Southern California

 Re: In the beginning, he knew my plans.. My story

Quote:

awakenwithin wrote:
In the beginning, he knew my plans before time began... Sometimes we have to let our dreams die, and He give us new ones. He has broken me down and remolded me with a heart that leaps for the salvation of America... This gave me a deep passion for prayer. It has been a constant growth process with growing pains and many benefits, passion for prayer...I will forever glorify his name. I love how each of our stories are differnt what a good God we live for. I know God has much more for me to learn. I cry out here I am send me, use me, I am yours.

In His love

Charlene




Oh, my sister, my sister!

The tears burn when I think of your pain, then spring up again that so much has been changed in you by our loving Lord.

I too know the shame, the pain, the loss, the heartbreak. I know the anger and the questions.

I know the losses and the gains, and in the end, like you, I would not give up what I have now for all the world.

My body is marred as yours is. My life is lost, and then found, even as you have experienced.

Yet in the pain and the silence we find God. In the bitter trials we have the sweetness of relief, of our Knight in Shining Armor come to rescue us from what we have experienced.

He is with us, so we stay on, hoping to help others find their way to Him.

He is in our hearts and mind and soul in a way that no one but another Christian who has come to the end of him or her self can know.

How strange, to walk in pain and exhaustion, and delight in the tradeoffs we have gained.

Silence to pray for others. Time to talk to Jesus, and think of the days to come when we will be with Him.

Struggle, pain, and continual exhaustion of the body, and being misunderstood, of who we are and what we are doing, yet knowing that we have found the true way, and would only wish that others would find it too.

And so it is that we find ourselves, wrapped in His arms, He in us, and we in Him, so intermingled at times that the blessing is a pain and an agony.

And still, to want more, to be done with this world, and be with Him, and forever do His will in perfection, for we will be like Him.

Yet, we stay, knowing that He would have it so, that yet one more seed would be sown, and another watered. That our prayers would cause the Holy Spirit to reach out to a stranger, and call them in, to join us in the struggle to survive the pain, for Christ's gain, for His love, and our peace.

Oh, for the time when there will be nothing missing, nothing broken. When joy will fill us each moment, knowing we are with Him, and can see and touch and talk with Him, and He with us.

It is soon, praise be to God! And yet, I understand the Father's reluctance to send Jesus to us, for just one more soul, just one, just one....

The light dawns on the horizon. I know He is coming. And in His service, I can take joy in the wait, the struggle, the pain, for it might be that I or you might touch that last soul before He gathers us in.

Oh, how we are blessed, and that it will never end, only change from pain to sweetness, from sorrow to joy, from loss to gain, for ever, for eternity, in Him.

Oh, we are blessed!

In Him, and with you.

Forrest


_________________
Forrest Anderson

 2007/4/20 9:25Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7472
Mississippi

 Re:

Charlene and Forest,

I read your testimonies with interest. I stand in awe what God has done in your lives, redeeming some torn, scarred souls unto Himself. Now, have ya'll considered how your experience might be used to help others who are either caught in the same trap as you have been or those who are considering it? Let me explain.

Of the past twenty years, I have spent 15 years doing volunteer work at a Crises Pregnancy Center. There you hear stories of all kinds of wickedness, it is so bad nothing shocks me much anymore...fortunately, I can still get upset when I hear bad stories, especialy when they involve so-called Christians - then my patience/tolorance is sorely tested. Now, have you considered doing ministry to young girls, teaching them the value of maintaining moral purity? and the reasons behind it: Biblical, moral and emotional.

I took calls from young girls who were considering having sex: they called with the excuse of wanting us to give them the pill! (We never dispense any kinds of contraceptives). Then I would latch onto them and discuss with them the principles of moral purity. I have no idea whether my counsel was ever followed but I tried to teach them....Perhaps this is something you could do?

Let me share this with you: the moral behaviours are getting much worse - I could tell the difference from the time I started in 1987 to 2005. Earlier girls got involved in fornication because of giving in to passion. By 2005 I was seeing pregnant singles who were hooking up with males they did not even like! And they were not prostitutes, either! Of, course, they then wanted to abort, adding insult to injury.

The situation is really bad morally and like you said, the girls get hurt....so why are we surprised at the divorce rate when the girls have marred themselves so badly?

If the LORD would lead you so, I am certain there would be a few girls that are wishing to hear something other then what popular culture is promoting. Pray about it and see what the LORD would have you do.

One more word. In Alabama some ladies were going into the public schools to teach an abstenience program. To do this required a support group of prayer warriors praying while they were there because the battle was that intense.

Thanks for sharing,

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2007/4/20 23:57Profile
UniqueWebRev
Member



Joined: 2007/2/9
Posts: 640
Southern California

 Re: Sharing the pain

Quote:

ginnyrose wrote:
Charlene and Forest,

I read your testimonies with interest. I stand in awe what God has done in your lives, redeeming some torn, scarred souls unto Himself. Now, have ya'll considered how your experience might be used to help others who are either caught in the same trap as you have been or those who are considering it? Let me explain.

Of the past twenty years, I have spent 15 years doing volunteer work at a Crises Pregnancy Center... There you hear stories of all kinds of wickedness, it is so bad nothing shocks me much anymore...fortunately, I can still get upset when I hear bad stories, especialy when they involve so-called Christians - then my patience/tolorance is sorely tested. Now, have you considered doing ministry to young girls, teaching them the value of maintaining moral purity? and the reasons behind it: Biblical, moral and emotional...If the LORD would lead you so, I am certain there would be a few girls that are wishing to hear something other then what popular culture is promoting. Pray about it and see what the LORD would have you do.Thanks for sharing,

ginnyrose




Ah, sweet GinnyRose!

If only I could, but I rarely can leave the house to get to the doctors appointment. If only there was a way to get a phone line hooked into my home so I could help. I have the time, and I love to work with those in pain (Lay Counselor for 20+ years before accident) to those in pain, but I have not yet managed to find a way to do so.

God has made me an evangelist instead. I meet a lot of people in doctor's waiting rooms, and in the aisles of grocery stores, where I use those wonderful carts.

But with my walker in plain sight at all times, people are open, and God gives me so many Christian's to talk to, even on the phone!

For it seems that God took a look at my disabilities, and my abilities, added the Holy Spirit, and told me to "WRITE", as He told me on July 6, 2006. (Choices article, www.TilKingdom.Com)

Hence my website, that is targeted, by God, to those who have left the church, or have family in it, and need to find the Church! Then hopefully, they will find a living church, or at the least, the Living Church.

But since I have unlimited long distance time on my phone, except to JoyinJesus in Australia (crying, weeping, yelling about the phone rates)I would love to counsel those who are walking the road I have already walked, from sexual abuse at 7, through all the acting out that causes so much pain, and finally, into Jesus' arms.

Would your homebase have me?

Blessings,

Forrest


_________________
Forrest Anderson

 2007/4/22 3:59Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

"I read your testimonies with interest. I stand in awe what God has done in your lives, redeeming some torn, scarred souls unto Himself. Now, have ya'll considered how your experience might be used to help others who are either caught in the same trap as you have been or those who are considering it? "
God is a Good God. What a redeeming work he does in us. I have considered many times, but the timeing was always worng.

" Now, have you considered doing ministry to young girls, teaching them the value of maintaining moral purity? and the reasons behind it: Biblical, moral and emotional. "

I love teaching, it a great passion to meet one on one with girls. I have met with girls here and there.


"If the LORD would lead you so, I am certain there would be a few girls that are wishing to hear something other then what popular culture is promoting. Pray about it and see what the LORD would have you do."


I will pray as the Lord leads. Who knows what God might have me do..

To do this required a support group of prayer warriors praying while they were there because the battle was that intense.

This is my heart to support in prayer. I would love to be a prayer warrior for these girls and the workers. Perhaps I could pray for you, and the work you do.

Thank you for your kind words, I will pray.
In his love
charlene


_________________
charlene

 2007/4/23 0:16Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

Yet in the pain and the silence we find God. In the bitter trials we have the sweetness of relief, of our Knight in Shining Armor come to rescue us from what we have experienced


It is so ture, God use our pain to bring a greater joy in knowing our God. What a wonderful picture of my God, who comes after me like a " knight in shining aromor", rescue us

Thanks be to God who knows our trails,
Thanks be to God who use them for Good
Thanks be to God who is real and is alway with us
Thanks be to God who is my God
Thanks be to God who knows my pain, my needs
Thanks be to God who hears my crys

what a Mighy God we have

"How strange, to walk in pain and exhaustion, and delight in the tradeoffs we have gained. "

This is so so so ture!! God stops me so I will sit and pray for hours. This is my pray turn my pain into sweetness

in his love
charlene


_________________
charlene

 2007/4/23 0:23Profile
UniqueWebRev
Member



Joined: 2007/2/9
Posts: 640
Southern California

 Re: Our King

Quote:

UniqueWebRev wrote:
Yet in the pain and the silence we find God. In the bitter trials we have the sweetness of relief, of our Knight in Shining Armor come to rescue us from what we have experienced


AwakenWithin wrote:
It is so true, God uses our pain to bring a greater joy in knowing our God. What a wonderful picture of my God, who comes after me like a " Knight in Shining Armor", to rescue us

Thanks be to God who knows our trials,
Thanks be to God who uses them for Good
Thanks be to God who is real and is always with us
Thanks be to God who is my God
Thanks be to God who knows my pain, my needs
Thanks be to God who hears my cries

What a Mighy God we have!


UniqueWebRev wrote:
"How strange, to walk in pain and exhaustion, and delight in the tradeoffs we have gained. "


AwakenWithin wrote:
This is so so so true!! God stops me so I will sit and pray for hours. This is my prayer: turn my pain into sweetness



And yet our brothers do not always know how to see Jesus in this way, to love in the way one loves a King, to Whom is owed fealty, to Whom is owed their lives, their property, even their honor, pledging all to His cause.

We, sisters in Christ, see Jesus so easily as our Beloved, because it is so natural to us, to give devotion to a man, that to give it to The Man is easy.

Ah, my brothers, do not hesitate to throw your hearts at His feet, even if you show it to no-one else. He is there, waiting, our King in Glory, for your fealty, love and worship.

Blessings,

Forrest


_________________
Forrest Anderson

 2007/4/24 4:54Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7472
Mississippi

 Re:

Forrest, you wrote:

Quote:
Would your homebase have me?



I profess ignorance here: exactly what do you mean? Are you asking whether the organization I worked for would allow you to work there? or any other organization? Presently, the only organization I work for is my dear husband in our business and I help out at our church in various capacities. I quit CPC a couple of years ago because the Holy Spirit told me my time was up there...so since I could do nothing constructive without his help I knew it would be useless to continue AND I wanted to be obedient as well.

I will check back here sooner for a reply to my question...

BTW: I am so gratified to hear how the LORD is using you. This brings me lots of joy in my spirit. God Bless you!

Blessings
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2007/4/24 9:04Profile
UniqueWebRev
Member



Joined: 2007/2/9
Posts: 640
Southern California

 Re: Ginnyrose's question

GinnyRose,

I think I meant would the group you once volunteered at work with someone so far away?

Excess phone calls could be forwarded, and so forth, and counseling, to me, is just part of what I have always done.

Certainly, there is nothing that could surprise me - I've been too close to Lucifer myself, and for many years and know the practical reasons that convince as well as the moral ones.

For some reason, the practical reasons need to be bolstered by the moral ones, or they just don't take.

But anyway, if the people at the center you once worked for wanted to, almost anything can be done by phone these days.

Nearby, in California, there is nothing like this that I've heard of, though I know they must exist. But California is so strange a place that one wonders how we Christians even survive here.

Talk about worldliness, and secular progressiveness! And no political support for what is right or good.

And yet, there are a lot of churches, but few that one wants to go to, at least nearby me.

Blessings,

Forrest


_________________
Forrest Anderson

 2007/4/24 9:23Profile
UniqueWebRev
Member



Joined: 2007/2/9
Posts: 640
Southern California

 Re: Back to the King

Quote:

UniqueWebRev wrote:
Yet in the pain and the silence we find God. In the bitter trials we have the sweetness of relief, of our Knight in Shining Armor come to rescue us from what we have experienced


AwakenWithin wrote:
It is so true, God uses our pain to bring a greater joy in knowing our God. What a wonderful picture of my God, who comes after me like a " Knight in Shining Armor", to rescue us

Thanks be to God who knows our trials,
Thanks be to God who uses them for Good
Thanks be to God who is real and is always with us
Thanks be to God who is my God
Thanks be to God who knows my pain, my needs
Thanks be to God who hears my cries

What a Mighy God we have!


UniqueWebRev wrote:
"How strange, to walk in pain and exhaustion, and delight in the tradeoffs we have gained. "


AwakenWithin wrote:
This is so so so true!! God stops me so I will sit and pray for hours. This is my prayer: turn my pain into sweetness



And yet our brothers do not always know how to see Jesus in this way, to love in the way one loves a King, to Whom is owed fealty, to Whom is owed their lives, their property, even their honor, pledging all to His cause.

We, sisters in Christ, see Jesus so easily as our Beloved, because it is so natural to us, to give devotion to a man, that to give it to The Man is easy.

Ah, my brothers, do not hesitate to throw your hearts at His feet, even if you show it to no-one else. He is there, waiting, our King in Glory, for your fealty, love and worship.

Blessings,

Forrest


_________________
Forrest Anderson

 2007/4/27 0:56Profile





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