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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Confessions Of A Hypocrite

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murdog
Member



Joined: 2006/2/4
Posts: 352
Fort Frances, Ontario

 Confessions Of A Hypocrite

Members,

I wish this article was about someone else but unfortunately it is about me.

I have played around with Christianity for long enough. I have come to the cross, walked around the cross, but now I am deciding to get on the cross.

I have grown weary of living as an enemy of the cross. It is because of me that the name of God is blasphemed all day long. I can't even talk to my wife about holiness because she knows I am duplicitous. I destroy my credibility at work with my words and actions. I have to wear cosmetics to Church, I have become an actor in a play. But now I know how the play ends, I always have known somewhere deep inside. I just always thought I would repent tomorrow.

I went to my church on friday night for the prayer meeting. Before it started, I sat down and told the pastor and a couple of the regular members that I was living a double life. That I was holding on to sin and not submitting to God. They were shocked, and then they said "Well there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus". I said that is the problem I have never been in Christ, I have never allowed the sanctification process to get past a certain point.

Don't get me wrong, I don't sell drugs anymore, I don't hit people with bats anymore, I don't threaten to kill police officers anymore. I am not a new creation, I am just a slightly more refined version of the old creation.

On sunday morning at church, I started weeping before the service started and it felt so good to know that God has not handed me over to a hardened heart. I cried out for discipline from Him. Those he loves, he disciplines. On the other hand those of us that love Him, obey Him.

I have been a great hearer of the word, I have been a great reciter of the word. Now it is time to become a doer of the word.

"For what is the hope of the hypocrite, though he hath gained, when God taketh away his soul?" Job 26:8

Murray


_________________
Murray Beninger

 2007/2/13 11:55Profile









 Re: Confessions Of A Hypocrite

Dear Brother. The angels are rejoicing, and so is the Lord!

Luke 15: 3 So he told them this parable: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost.’ 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the high and lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite. 16 For I will not contend for ever, nor will I always be angry; for from me proceeds the spirit, and I have made the breath of life. 17 Because of the iniquity of his covetousness I was angry, I smote him, I hid my face and was angry; but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart. 18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and requite him with comfort, creating for his mourners the fruit of the lips. 19 Peace, peace, to the far and to the near, says the Lord; and I will heal him.
The Revised Standard Version.

Isaiah 66:2 ...this is the man to whom I will look, he that is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,
and saves the crushed in spirit.


Psalm 51:17 The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
(The Revised Standard Version)

Enough said?


Jeannette

 2007/2/13 12:21









 Re: Confessions Of A Hypocrite

Praise God, Murray!! My prayers are with you. I think if we all do some serious self-examining we will find that none of us are where we should be. You've encouraged me by your testimony, and have also inspired me to take some time alone with the Lord and seek His face concerning my own life, and where I am with Him. I know for me... I hardly ever measure up.

Keep on keepin' on, my brother!

Krispy

 2007/2/13 12:24









 Re: Confessions Of A Hypocrite

You are not the only one who's been in repentance and confession mode recently :-( See the thread "A broken heart" in the Miracles that follow the plow section. The more we go on with the Lord the more He searches our heart.

God bless you and give you His grace, and awareness of forgiveness.

Jeannette

 2007/2/13 12:29
Yeshuasboy
Member



Joined: 2006/6/10
Posts: 668
Northern Rockies, BC, Canada

 Re: Confessions Of A Hypocrite

Sounds like God is blessing you brother... and I'm so glad He is :-)
The Lord Christ Jesus bless you and your household,
richie
PS. May God's promise in 1Jn 1:7,9 be fulfilled in your life as you put your faith in the Loving Heavenly Father and His Spiritual best for you.


_________________
Richie

 2007/2/14 5:35Profile
Yeshuasboy
Member



Joined: 2006/6/10
Posts: 668
Northern Rockies, BC, Canada

 Re:

Quote:

I think if we all do some serious self-examining we will find that none of us are where we should be. You've encouraged me by your testimony, and have also inspired me to take some time alone with the Lord and seek His face concerning my own life, and where I am with Him. I know for me... I hardly ever measure up.



Looks like somebody already cut my grass :-P Amen to this. Got to go eat some humble pie now...
Lord help me before it's too late,
richie


_________________
Richie

 2007/2/14 5:42Profile
roadsign
Member



Joined: 2005/5/2
Posts: 3776


 Re: Praise God!!!

Murray, Words cannot describe how thrilled I am to read your testimony. It us much like mine – God bringing me out of an “outer cup salvation” into an authentic relationship with him.

I must admit that I have had a hard time explaining my testimony. People who have known me for years just can't see that I had any reason to doubt my salvation. I was such a good Christian, after all.

Testimonies like this seem to be few and far between – I guess that is because “it is not the healthy who need a doctor....”.

May God’s Spirit continue to speak to you of his goodness.

Diane


_________________
Diane

 2007/2/14 9:05Profile
murdog
Member



Joined: 2006/2/4
Posts: 352
Fort Frances, Ontario

 Re:

Members,

The Lord is granting me repentance as I am beginning to do what the word says. One thing that had really overtaken me was deception, God has shown me that I lie constantly.

"Wherefore put away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members of one another."

I also want to purify my mind and heart in regards to lustful thoughts.

"Let there be not even a hint of sexual immorality among you"

I was asked to speak at a men's breakfast coming up and I thought I can't speak to these people being a hypocrite. I was reminded of the quote by C.H. Spurgeon that say if a man's life is not right at home he should go twenty miles away to speak, stand up and say NOTHING.

That is when it dawned on me to go there and tell them the truth about my life, my hypocrisy and tell them what God wants me to do.

I had highlighted a verse in Psalm 66 that says "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have heard me." At first I liked the verse and then it become a curse to me. I realized God would not hear my prayer because he knew I cherished sin in my heart.

With that I was at a crossroads, continue pretending to be a Christian or actually start producing fruit in keeping with repentance.

Another quote by Spurgeon says "Is any sin so luscious, that it is worth burning in hell forever for?" Now of course we all say no, but there were sins that I was unwilling to part with.

I don't want to trample his blood under my feet anymore. Is this how I repay the one who died for me?

Let me at least do what Jesus came to do and that is to rescue me from my sins and to take me from darkness unto light.

Murray


_________________
Murray Beninger

 2007/2/14 12:08Profile
murdog
Member



Joined: 2006/2/4
Posts: 352
Fort Frances, Ontario

 Re:

Members,

Does anyone else here have a problem discerning their own motives? There is so much about myself that I don't trust.

I just wanted to let you know that I had a fall in an area which I am weak in yesterday, please pray for me.

There is alot going on right now in my life, my marriage is not doing well.

I don't want to give the impression that I am suddenly sin free because I started this post.

There is so much to overcome.

Murray


_________________
Murray Beninger

 2007/2/15 7:07Profile
hmmhmm
Member



Joined: 2006/1/31
Posts: 4991
Sweden

 Re:

brother, i can identify whit a lot of things, first from where you come from, also about the hypocrisy part, its my daily prayer that it should be a reality in my life what i speak unto others, Ive sometimes felt so utterly crushed whit guilt and shame on my knees Ive felt unworthy of even a creature as i to be breathing Gods holy air down into my "filthy" sinful body...and it seems to me just amazing the earth just don't open and swallow me down into the eternal depths of hell for all eternity,

it is a struggle every day, thoughts and emotions... sometimes i scream at my wife, at my kids, i so fail in all things, i can look back and see in areas i have been fully freed and are walking on great, but its the "smaller " areas... the "secret" sins... i need a great big cross driven into my sinful heart, i pray much about these things and i believe God for granting repentance and mercy, i have sometimes secret pride...secret pride... ohh that i would die completely to myself... but it feels like once I'm getting on that cross there is one arm wrestling to get free... swinging to grab a hold of the world and its lust and pride... I'm screaming to it DIE ! DIE ! DIE!

self is hard to kill, i thought I'm saved I'm home free its done finiched... in terms of saved i believe i am, i know i was born again of God everything became new, my life my everything...now i beginning to see that getting saved was only the first step into eternity.... now every day fighting, standing fast, always praying, carrying a cross, suffering,

but one word is stuck into my mind, no matter how hard it is or feels... where should we go? he has the word of eternal life... Ive prayed many times - God come back now or strike me dead! i cant take it any more,

but often we can take much more then we imagine...

just some thought from a brother in the struggle

Christian


_________________
CHRISTIAN

 2007/2/15 7:29Profile





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