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repentcanada
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Joined: 2005/5/9
Posts: 659


 Is Remarriage Adulterous?

Awhile back I read something a homsexual wrote to a Christian. He said how is it that the Church condemns homosexuality but it condones re-marriage for those who are divorced?

This got me thinking and I read the Scriptures where Christ addresses remarriage:

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:32)

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10:11,12)

(As well: Matthew 19:9, Luke 16:18)



The point that the homosexual posed was this: why is it that Christians think they can be forgiven even if they are living in adultery due to remarriage, yet the homosexual is damned due to his sin? Of course, one is not bound to a husband or wife after they have deceased (1 Corinthians 7:9).

I was reading some of the doctrines from William Seymour posted here on SI and was surprised to read his stance that those who have remarried were to get out of that adulterous relationship and be either be single or be reconciled to their first husband or wife.

My question to all is why is the Church acceptant of re-marriage and the "adultery" one commits due to it? Why do ministers continually marry people over and over again when it is so contrary to the Word of God?

Thanks & God bless

 2006/8/7 22:48Profile
PaulWest
Member



Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re: Adultery vs. Homosexuality

Hi brother Ricky,

I don't know about other organizations, but my fellowship will not issue credentials to a man or woman who has gone through a divorce, unless it occured before their conversion and/or unfaithfulness was the cause. And as a minister, I absolutely WILL NOT marry a couple if they don't fall under one of these two categories - Christian or non. (I've probably just made a few enemies on SI for saying this!)

Brother Paul


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Paul Frederick West

 2006/8/7 23:04Profile
repentcanada
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Joined: 2005/5/9
Posts: 659


 Re:

As well, I have heard that the grounds for divorce ("fornication") spoken of by Jesus was during the Jewish betrothal (engagement) period only and NOT meant for immorailty after one was married - has anyone else studied on this topic?

 2006/8/7 23:10Profile
PaulWest
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Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re:

Quote:
As well, I have heard that the grounds for divorce ("fornication") spoken of by Jesus was during the Jewish betrothal (engagement) period only and NOT meant for immorailty after one was married



I don't understand this, Ricky. (I'm not implying that you believe this, dear brother, don't worry! I'm instead trying to figure out how someone could arrive at this strange interpretation!)

When did Jesus specify only during the bethrothal period? Is it because he mentions first fornication and THEN adultery? Does this imply that as long as both husband and wife remained chaste until marriage, any infidelity that occurs AFTER the wedding doesn't count, and is no grounds for divorce? That's absurd, legalistic and completely unfair. It's also very cruel. Now, the woman could cheat on her husband ad infinitum and he could never divorce her according to God's law. If the betrothal period was the proving ground for faithfulness, in ancient cultures like that (and in some middle-eastern places still today), you wouldn't have to worry about a divorce; if the "token of virginity" was not discovered on the wedding night, the husband and elders could simply destroy the woman.

Check this out. The passage seems to be implying that if a woman commits fornication before the wedding, the man can put her away. But if he does put her away, he causes her to commit adultery. How can this be if she's never been married to begin with? Now she's a fornicator AND an adulteress? J.B. Phillips says "...whoever divorces his wife except on the ground of unfaithfulness is MAKING her an adulteress." Verse 32 further says that if she marries again, the man that marries her also commits adultery. I suppose the only recourse in a situation like this is would be to go ahead and marry the woman, so to prevent her from becoming an adulteress? But wouldn't the original husband then be guilty of adultery as well, as another man had already had her?

Brother, I don't know if during the betrothal period in first century Jewish culture, the boy and girl were considered "husband" and "wife". I guess it's worth looking into! I think we're complicating this unecessarily. Go by your gut reaction. A HUSBAND can put his WIFE away if she cheats, and vice-versa. Otherwise, especially in today's promiscuious culture, 95% of ALL marriages (including Christians) can lawfully get divorced at anytime, as most have already fornicated before they met each other.

God bless!

Paul


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Paul Frederick West

 2006/8/7 23:25Profile
JoeA
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Joined: 2004/11/29
Posts: 364
Decatur, Illinois

 Re:

I was having this same conversation with my brother just yesterday. Neither of us could understand why divorce and remarriage are thought of so lightly. I read somewhere that the divorce rate for professing Christians is 4% higher than the rest of the nation. How sad! Especially when the Bible says that divorce is something the Lord hates. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

I would also like to add that my pastor refused to marry a couple not long ago because one of them had been divorced.


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Joe Auvil

 2006/8/8 0:19Profile
PaulWest
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Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re:

Quote:
I would also like to add that my pastor refused to marry a couple not long ago because one of them had been divorced.



Amen, brother.

As ministers of the gospel, we are held to a very high standard. If I went around marrying people just for the sake of them telling me "we're in love" and totally disregarded the fact that I'd be ushering both of them into an adulterous affair, I'd be liable for their sin on judgment day! My hands would be stained with their adultery. Plus my relationship with God would be jeopardized here on earth; I would no longer have clean hands and a pure heart, and my entire life would begin to fall apart.

This is why I utterly refuse to bow down to the whims of contemporary Christianity like brother Ricky was talking about, and just wink at divorcees getting unlawfully married within the church. I mean, even preachers are putting away their wives over financial strains or character incompatibilities or whatever. It's hardly ever due to immorality. They just say, "I'm unhappy in this marriage. It's not working out. God understands." It is so wrong. We must hate divorce like God hates it.

My mom and dad got divorced when I was six, and it really messed up my childhood. It was a VERY terrible time, with lawyers and court dates and holiday visitations and everything else. I wouldn't want any precious child to go through what my brother and I did. Man, I totally understand why our Father hates divorce. It destroys and breaks people down and scars them for life - especially the kids. And that the church of Jesus Christ is so nonchalant about it, just shows you how far we've drifted from God.



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Paul Frederick West

 2006/8/8 0:47Profile
JoeA
Member



Joined: 2004/11/29
Posts: 364
Decatur, Illinois

 Re:

Any Christian married couple considering divorce should ask themselves these questions:

Has God divorced me?
Would God ever leave me or forsake me?
Does God put up with all of my faults and retake me everytime i come running into His arms?

We've forgotten about God. I believe with my whole heart that the root cause of all sin and worldliness in the Church is due to the fact that we've forgotten God.

"Israel doth not know. My people doth not consider."


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Joe Auvil

 2006/8/8 0:55Profile









 Re: Is Remarriage Adulterous?

Hi Ricky, Paul and Joe,

Quote:
I was reading some of the doctrines from William Seymour posted here on SI and was surprised to read his stance that those who have remarried were to get out of that adulterous relationship and be either be single or be reconciled to their first husband or wife.

I believe this is close to John Piper's conclusions on this matter.

But I put it to you, what happened to forgiveness in this scenario - that of God being willing to forgive the fornicator, adulterer, homosexual (1 Cor 6:11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, [b]but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God[/b])? I'll leave you to look up verse 9.

Since I joined SI a year ago, there have been several threads, most of which have links back to even older threads. The current one, to which I'll be returning when I have more time online available to me, is 'Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage - towards a biblical perspective'. There you will find links to more than one site where there is useful 'perspective' both on scripture and the kind of things other Christians are saying about this matter.

I know this thread is very long, but, its recent activity began around page 3, and remains very much unfinished. Please bear in mind the effect the Council of Trent (I can't find the page in the thread, but, if you google it, the relevant session (24th, I think) is easy to find) had on the way marriages were conducted, and look carefully at the wording which condemns scripture, gospel and any other power opposing the Church of Rome.

While I understand why it would be much easier just to have a formula for dealing with potential remarriagers, which does not require either repentance on the part of the sinner, or discerment on the part of the minister, I don't believe that's what God calls us to rely on. In the Name of Christ, we are called upon not only to minister righteousness and in righteousness, but also mercy and faith. In so saying I am not disputing that divorce is unhealthy for children and heartbreaking for the divorcees, but, that's why Jesus needed to be THE Great Physician. He was shown to Israel as the fulfilment of Isaiah's prophecy, which you will note, even in Isaiah's own words, includes the healing of the broken-hearted.


[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=1923&forum=36]https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=1923&forum=36[/url]


If you do read the whole thread (slowly), you will eventually hit another plea from the heart by a sister (amongst many) of whom I was one once, who didn't believe in divorce. I wasn't been beaten as some of them are, but my children were being sexually abused. As a survivor of sexual abuse myself, I am convinced that divorce is a far healthier solution for the children involved, than failing to protect them from a sexual abuser. I still have much to say in the above thread, to address this matter scripturally, and will I do, I'll try to repost the link in this thread too. (Or perhaps someone else could remember - Ricky, maybe?)

The short answer on sexual abuse, is that it is out of the same stable as fornication, (adultery) and homosexuality; in simple terms, this is idolatry - the one great worship system alternative to worshipping God. Unless we preach this simple truth as part of the gospel, we will continue to have the church bulging with so-called members who have no idea why they should give up fornication, homosexuality, physical violence within marriage, or child abuse.

God sees the heart. He knows who has done with such forms of worship in truth, is not deceived, and will mete out righteous judgment in the last day.

There is a great lack of real understanding of what a marriage is supposed to be - what constitutes 'marriage' and what does not. I now maintain that unless God makes two people one in reality, their participation in a marriage ceremony doesn't bind them to each other in the way He intends a man and a woman should be 'one'.

Also, take a look at Tyndale's use of the word 'wedlock' in the later pages of the above thread, which makes the traditional understanding of adultery (actually acted out), the delineator for the effective end of a 'marriage'. Formalising this state of affairs (forgive the pun) with a divorce, merely legalises the freedoms of both parties to remarry. What it doesn't do, is make their hearts right with God - but He is always open to hear from them, to forgive, to renew and to make them totally clean from ALL past sins.

I hope you brethren know this, otherwise there is little hope for any of us. Let's not make divorce the second unforgivable sin - and condemn ourselves in the process - as this is not a scriptural stance.

 2006/8/8 7:33
PaulWest
Member



Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re:

Whatever happened to "Art thou bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife" (I Cor. 7:27).

If someone's husband has become sexually abusive, I believe he needs to be handed over to the authorities. But, I would not advise her to remarry after this. I would instead counsel her with the better option of 1 Cor. 7:27, that she may avoid a fresh bondage to the things of the world and the caring of a new husband. Is not God sufficient to meet her and her children's needs? But for many, this is not enough - they want the physical intimacy as well. This is where the flesh comes into play, as Paul warned against the young widows becoming wanton. Mind you, my views on this are not because I cannot exercise forgiveness or understanding toward a divorcee; it is rather because the Bible counsels against remarriage for good reason. If someone wants to get remarried bad enough, they can always find a preacher who will do it for an honorarium. And this preacher will give an account at the judgment. I already have enough on my plate! Why go against Pauline wisdom, when my heart already agrees with 1 Corinthians 7:27?

I'm not saying I have all the perfect answers in scenarios like this, and I understand some cases are very different. This is why us preachers need to exercise such intimacy and communication with God so to hear the instruction of the Holy Spirit in all things. What I type here is only the present condition of my heart and where God has me right now at my level of maturity. I could change next year! The important thing is to always do what I know to be right, and let God judge and change my heart if I'm in error (which I very often am!)

God bless you all!

Brother Paul


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Paul Frederick West

 2006/8/8 8:26Profile
PreachParsly
Member



Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164
Arkansas

 Re:

To me, the large question is:

If a sinner gets married, divorces, remarries. 10 years down the road wants to get right with God, does he have to divorce the "remarriage" to repent from sin?

I know some believe this is true. For some reason it just doesn't set right with me...


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Josh Parsley

 2006/8/8 13:14Profile





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