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Discussion Forum : General Topics : IS COURTSHIP JUST AS WORDLY

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Tears_of_joy
Member



Joined: 2003/10/30
Posts: 1554


 Re: IS COURTSHIP JUST AS WORDLY

I believe all who want to honor God's name in this very important subject, this testemony will be very helpful and encouraging for them - [url=http://www.gospeljohn.com/dating.htm]The Match Maker[/url]

This testemony is also in some way connected to mine testemony :-) in God's time I believe I will share it with all of you. :-)

I have just one counsel, that's the word 'waiting'.
Wait upon the Lord, He is faithful. Don't listen someone who is telling to you 'act also on your own, she/he will not come from the heaven'. That's a big lie for me. Thousands upon thousand mistakes and broken hearts has been made from this 'acting'. When you wait upon God , He will clearly show you when to act, just be close to Him, that is all you need.

The greatest encouragement and promise that I was holding firmly to was Proverbs 19:14:

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Just take that and keep it soundly. Don't loose it. God is faithful.

 2006/6/1 17:26Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re: IS COURTSHIP JUST AS WORDLY

Bro. Amos,

Perhaps a better question to ask, if you want to marry a Christian girl, is how can I win her? Others on this thread have suggested you wait on the LORD and let Him lead you to the right person. So far so good. But.

But if you would go up to a girl and tell her the LORD showed you that she is to marry you, it could be an insult to her...at least most females would think so. And then how will you respond? Godly females want to be pursued, they want to know whether your are trustworthy, pure in mind and lifestyle, godly. Would you be a good father to her children? a good provider? (One time when my sister was entertaining a marriage proposal and she did not know whether she loved him enough to marry him, I asked her how she felt about carrying his children? She found this idea repulsive; she did not marry him.)

In pursuing a woman, listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you about this person. If you get an uneasy sense about this whole relationship, back off. She is not for you! And be pure in your conduct when with her, keep you hands off of her lest you be tempted beyond what is seemly.

To determine whether dating or courtship is worldy or not seem to be begging the question. The Bible does not give us any directions on how one should go about to find a spouse, but it does give us plenty of counsel on moral purity and THAT is what you need to be more concerned about. I know many who dated and were virgins when they married so it is possible. But it must be done with pure hearts and minds. Otherwise you will foul up your body and soul.

Hope this helps.

ginnyrose

PS: BTW, I have been married to the same man since 1967! and we dated three years...he was a CO, working for Uncle Sam during two years of this time and were separated by 150 miles.




_________________
Sandra Miller

 2006/6/1 23:06Profile
ccchhhrrriiisss
Member



Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4779


 Re:

Hi ginnyrose...

Thank you for this wonderful advice. I read a book by Elizabeth Elliot that provided similar advice. I am not married (yet), but I have been committed to the same girlfriend for several years. The funny thing about this discussion is that we often use different words to describe the same thing. I often say that I am dating my girlfriend. However, our "dating" consists of what most people would really call "courting." I knew my girlfriend long before we began "dating." After a while, I developed feelings for her. After much prayer, I chose to pursue her. Ironically, she was praying about the same thing.

Thus, we chose to commit to a relationship. We did not (and do not) take this commitment lightly. I met her family and asked for her parents' permission. We do almost everything together. If I am not at work, school, prayer or Bible study, I am usually spending time with her. We do go places together (dinner, shopping, etc...) -- but I would hardly consider those things "dates."

I personally do not believe in getting married until I can provide a "place" for her (and of course, I do not simply mean a physical house). I want to physically take care of a wife and the children that the Lord will bless me with. I am currently finishing grad school, and I will be looking for employment soon (I work at the University -- but I wouldn't consider this job permanent).

I do consider such relationships to be extremely important. I don't want to "miss the Lord" on something so utterly important! It is my belief that marriage should only happen once. What tragedy when well-meaning believers make mistakes in the name of "God's will" (but in reality, was simply youthful desire). I have given my girlfriend and this relationship to the Lord. God has never audibly told me to marry her. But neither has God not told me to break off our relationship. However, I have -- and will continue -- to bring this relationship before the Lord through prayer and fasting.

I sometimes get a kick out of the masses of unmarried believers that try to sensationalize (at least spiritually) their desire for a particular "God-ordained" relationship. Sometimes, they feel that God will give them visions and dreams to confirm a match ("...made in Heaven?"). I have personally had four girls tell me explicitly that "God [u]told[/u] them" that they were going to marry me (sometimes, supposedly confirmed by "dreams" and "fleeces"). Yet many people forget that both Paul and Jesus said that it is better for a man [u][i]not[/i][/u] to marry. It was tragic to explain to these wonderful girls that God had not told me the same!

I appreciate these sort of discussions -- and the advice and counsel that they generate. Such instruction is often sadly lacking in most Churches.

:-)


_________________
Christopher

 2006/6/2 1:45Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

Chris,

I think your special friend would be the loser if she let you get away!!! :-)

Your testimony was so encouraging....keep it up and may God give you the desires of your heart.

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2006/6/2 19:42Profile





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