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Joined: 2006/1/31
Posts: 4991

 Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

i have a question...ive seartch the word but im still not sure... im married.
i have a wonderful wife. but i already have lot of children.
but is it wrong to have sex whit birthcontroll??
i mean its not wrong to make love to your wife... but im so confused...becuse if we take away the children part isent it just lust then? i dont have just sex whit my wife flesh and lust. i do love her and so and love being close to her but is it ok?? in gods eyes??

my pastor says it is...and then some other people say no no no becuse then its is of the flesh... its your lust and so on...and some people told me they dont know...
ive got other questions awnserd here so i think u can help me here to

much grateful

gods peace to you


 2006/5/25 12:55Profile

Joined: 2003/7/31
Posts: 2735
Phoenix, Arizona USA

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

We have a member here on SI who runs a web site that has a whole bunch of articles on birth control, you might find them helpful.

[url=]Life and Liberty Ministries - Birth Control[/url]

In Christ,


Ron Halverson

 2006/5/25 13:28Profile

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

Lust is the desire for something you're not supposed to have. You're supposed to have your wife, therefore it isnt lust to want to have sex with her. Thats part of your confusion.

Birth control is ok so long as it isnt a pill that causes abortion... which many (if not all) birth control pills do. I see nothing wrong with condoms. There is nothing wrong with a guy getting fixed. I did.

Make love to your wife 30 times a day if you want to... God has sanctioned it and called it HOLY, and to call it sin is to blaspheme God.

Scripture commands husband and wife to have sex OFTEN, and to only refrain from it for a season of prayer and fasting (and it's not necessary in those cases either) and then to come together again SOON so that you are not tempted to sin with you mind or body with someone else.

People who think marital sex is sin have some deep rooted hang ups, and certainly dont know the Bible. I wouldnt listen to anything they have to say on that matter, or any other Biblical matter.


 2006/5/25 13:34

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

philologos said

it is never wrong to be in bed with your spouse

The discussion which this was taken from, is not about birth control. (It was about this 'God-given instinct' within marriage.)

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

I know this doesn't answer your question about birth control, but it might make you feel comfortable about one aspect of your question.

 2006/5/25 15:41

Joined: 2005/7/17
Posts: 1791

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

[b]Psalm 127:4-5[/b] [color=990000]The sons a man has when he is young are like arrows in a soldier's hand.
[b]:5[/b] Happy is the man who has many such arrows. He will never be defeated when he meets his enemies in the place of judgment.[/color]

If you believe that children are blessings from God and HE will provide the means to support the amount HE gives you, you will trust GOD's providence to give or not to give children with out your intervention.

My wife & I has beem merried for about 7 years and still no children, people have said we should look into firtility matters. I tell them that God has shut my wifes womb even though we have been praying and will continue to pray for children.
God will give us children in his own time.

The convers is that He will keep giving you children untill HE sees fit.

 2006/5/25 18:32Profile


You can have pleasure with your wife without having more children and without using birth control and condoms.

Your wife knows her own body, and she knows when she is fertile. But there are days when she is not, and those are the days that you should plan your enjoyment with one another.

I am not going to get into the ends and outs with this, you need to find these things out for yourselves, as each woman is different.

Search it out.


 2006/5/25 19:49

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7464

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?


This is my testimony for whatever it is worth.

I was pregnant with our fifth child and in my spirit I felt this was enough children for my husband and I. We loved all of our children - some were planned and the rest were surprises and I just about forgot which is which. :-D

As I was mulling this issue, one Sunday in church the pastor read a verse which gave me the answer to my question and it is found in Genesis 3: 16. The context is where God was pronouncing curses on the serpent, Adam and Eve for sinning. To Eve he said: "...I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception: ..." I have read this many times before but now I saw that the female's body was now going to be capable of conceiving more often. This was a part of the curse of sin God placed on Eve and by extension on all of us females.

If this is a curse, then it would follow we may do some things to counteract this curse? but it must be done without sinning. For example, killing a child by abortion would be reprehensible, or sinful, but what about using some barrier methods, or resorting to a surgical procedure like a tubal ligation? In our case we took the surgical route. However, it seems to me this is an issue you will need to discuss with your wife and that together you will agree on whether any contraceptives should be used. Some also use natural family planning which seems to work well. Do a search on the web using these terms and it will bring up a lot of sites for you.

There is one word of caution about the surgical route: you should realize that reversing it may not be possible. Above all, make it a matter of prayer before submitting to it.

An argument one hears against any family planning is that in the OT men had large families without considering how many women it took to have that many! In my search Hannah had the largest family and that was 7 children. Something to think about, IMHO.


Sandra Miller

 2006/5/25 20:11Profile


Logic, I can certainly understand where you're coming from. Let me say this without offending: someone in your situation has a different perspective than someone in my situation. My wife is VERY fertile. We have four boys, 3 planned, 1 surprise. But had we not availed ourselves of some sort of birth control she would have had a baby every 10 or 11 months for the past 17 years. Sorry... thats too many for us. We have friends who have many children. One family is Catholic and believe as you do, and she has had 6 kids, is pregnant for number 7, and has had 5 miscrriages. God bless 'em! But they struggle greatly financially. Another family we know has 12 kids, and the father just died recently at the age of 45 and so here is a single mom with 12 kids.

In ancient times the economy was mainly agricultural. Even up until the 20th century this was true. It's a lot easier to have that many kids AND support them when you are a farmer. This is not to say that God cant provide for a large family if you're not a farmer, but simply put... the world has changed. Every family I know that has many children struggle financially, and most come in under the poverty level. Money isnt everything, but when a family has to depend on the government to provide the basic necessities, well... God hasnt called us to THAT either.

We have four boys, and I believe my quiver is full. I had the "snip-snip" done last July. We prayed about it, and decided that this was God's leading FOR US. May not be God's leading for everyone. God may lead some people to have 12 or 15 kids. Thats not for me to judge.

The biggest thing about this issue is that we not judge one another about it. I know you're not judging anyone here, I'm cool with that. But I've seen it in some believers. Fact is, scripture is not entirely clear about this. So following NT presidence, we need to seek God in all grey areas, and be fully convinced in our hearts about the things we believe God is telling us that we should do. And not worry about what others are doing in these matters.

In the Bible it was a shame for a woman not to be able to bear children. In that culture people honestly believed that a woman was curse by God if she could not conceive. We certainly dont believe that now, do we? No.

And we're kidding ourselves if we really think that people in Biblical times just let it all hang out and just had no control over when they conceived. They knew about cycles and all that. The Mosaic Law even addresses the issue of a woman's period in many places. So I have to believe that they exercised some restraint when it came to pregnancy... and not ONE time in the Bible is anyone ever under the judgement of God for doing so. Not once.

Someone is bound to bring up Onan... but Onan's sin was NOT stopping a pregnancy from occurring, it was the sins of disobedience of the Law and deception. If we're going to tell people they shouldnt use some restraint in child bearing, then we must also say that when my brother dies I need to marry his wife and have children with her. Sorry... I love my sisters-in-law... but I aint marrying any of them! LOL


 2006/5/26 6:41

Joined: 2006/1/31
Posts: 4991

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

I thank you all for your awnsers and views on this matter. I have six kids and i dont have a job.
I do trust god in providing for me and my family often we have no other choise, many times we have no money no food but GOD always taken care of us one way or the other. I have so many times been on my knees whit my kids in desperation of what we shall eat tomorrow... but both me and them has seen how god awnsers every time. GLORY to him
thank you lord...

Its just that i feel like if i get more children whitch i feel they are a gift from god and they so blessed my life.
but i dont want to be careless and get more kids then i can take care of...

but i wont make a hasty decision. i will pray about it and i belive god will show me the way... but i agree on that maybe there is more then one way that is right on this matter

gods peace to you all


 2006/5/26 7:39Profile

 Re: Condoms...Birthcontroll...sin or not?

Your wife knows her own body, and she knows when she is fertile. [b]But there are days when she is not[/b], and those are the days that you should plan your enjoyment with one another.

This is true.

It is also true that women have fallen pregnant on every single day of their menstrual cycle.

I suspect that the risk of this is enhanced by abstinence, as there are always several eggs at different stages of readiness.

Un-identical twins can be conceived when two, rather than one egg, is released in the same month - and not necessarily on the same day.

I think it's important to be able to receive any more children, as from the Lord. You don't know what lies ahead, but you can trust His care.

I know some people (preacher and family) who have been 'living by faith' for over 40 years. They have had times when there was no food for them and their three boys (now all adult, of course), but never for longer than 3 days.

Also, if they are given gifts of the same thing, by different people (say, at Christmas), they keep them (all), believing them to be from the Lord, and they don't pass them on unless they believe the Lord wants them to.

I'm not suggesting you try to live by faith for your material provisions, unless the Lord [i]calls[/i] you to it, but I believe if you continue to look to Him in all things, prayerfully, and with Bible study, you cannot BUT grow, and you will find Him faithful, as you are.

 2006/5/26 8:12

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