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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : need prayers i am getting under attack again

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 Re:

Actually i have the watchman nee book at home, i am very familiar with the war of the flesh and spirit as it talks about in romans chapter 7. I have come to the point i think where i realize their is nothing good in me, i can do nothing righteous, i can't even believe the truth, it has t be all of grace, as the psalms says, only power belongeth unto God, he gives everything for us to be sustained. You know it would be easier for me to focus on that if i was being tormented by attacks from the enemy constantly, it is just really hard, all day being attacked.

 2012/2/24 1:54









 Re:

I just sent an email to someone about everything that is basically going on, i tried to go into better detail in this letter to not leave out anything. I still didn't write everything, but this might help people understand a little better. I am not the best at writing, so this might sound repetitive or not put together good, but anyways here it is.

Hey Mark thanks again. The last few days have been really bad. If i could explain what is going on, maybe you could pin point something because very much being overwhelmed by this. I was extremely under attack by evil spirits yesterday that for some reason are trying to paralize my body and hurt me and tormenting me in my thoughts. This has been going on i guess for some time now but has been extremely bad the last 10 months. But, over the past 2 years the specific one that is tormenting me the most right now in my thought life began to happen. All i know is that i began to struggle with a spirit of almost laughter or something over the misfortune of others. If i was around others and i heard about someones death or something bad happened to someone their was something whether within me or outside of me that almost would laugh about was going on, or something. Apart of me would feel terrible and feels terrible about what is happening, but then apart of me is wondering why i am feeling that way or why their is a spirit of laughter or whatever it is. Then in april of 2011 this year i actually preached on good friday at my church and my struggle with this problem grew worse even when we watched a video of the passion of christ with music in the background, and i was having the same thing happen watching Christ dying. But, anyways i couldn't pray for people or even want anyone to tell me bad news because this would happen constantly. Then in april i hurt my back really bad and was out of work for 5 weeks, 3 weeks into this i had got so bad i could barely move my body and my back had got really bad, i had went to the hospital 3 times and they found nothing wrong. Then it kept getting really bad, to the point i wasn't sure if i was ever going to get better. Then one afternoon i cried out to God all night, an ha people praying for me a lot. I woke up and my wife wanted me to eat subway she had bought and i said i didnt want any and i was very fearful. She then tried to encourage me to have faith in God. Then we prayed and i asked the Lord to take this burden off of me. At the time i had very bad swelling in my upper neck and back area. I got up after praying with her an i began to feel as if the problem completely was gone. And it was, the swelling was gone, that week i was cutting the grass and doing many things again. The Lord healed me, but then the spirit of laughter came back towards peoples misfortunes. My mom had a problem with her hands and my sister had a problem with her knee and the spirit would try to get me laugh about it and it tormented me. I then would feel guilty about it and go through the continual process of confessing and repenting of the evil thoughts. Then i also started getting attacked in my neck area and the Lord revealed to me i had been under demonic attack. I began to resist the enemy for the next couple of weeks with a lot success, but then i went back to work at the assisted living place i was working at the time and where i was leading bible studies. The first day back i started being overcome by the evil spirits in my back area again, but i stayed their for 5 months fighting until i was overcome by them and i quit. I would struggle during the 5 months with that spirit of laughter towards the elderly and their health problems and would get evil thoughts to come int my head towards them. I kept on hearing a spirit that would constantly tell me i was going to go paralized all the time, i could do nothing to stop it. The spirits also would attack and tell me i was going to be punished if did basically anything wrong like struggling with lust or the evil thoughts. It basically got to the point that the spirits started convincing me if i went to work i would be punished or if i worked with a girl i would be punished. I would be in constant torment. So i quit my job thinking that was the answer or that place was the problem but i found out it wasnt. Things only got worse. I was constantly getting harassed by this spirit of fear and worry over my health problems, could not get it off my mind no matter how much i prayed, read scriptures, or sought the Lord. Somedays i cried out all day to no avail and even today i still do. Then it has been almost 5 months since i quit and i have been tormented by spirit still, they attack my body and my health and my thoughts, when i tried resisting them, they come back at me a lot harder and overcome me. The only time i seem to gain any ground has been the last 2 months when i have fasted or tried giving the burden to the Lord. But i have lost almost 40 pounds because i have fasted in the summer to. I can't fast forever. But anyways when the spirit of laughter comes up towards peoples misfortunes i become so frustrated and upset and feel so guilty i began to believe i deserve to be punished or deserve the same thing i am thinking like that about. I go through this stage of confessing renouncing and repenting constantly, but then as i do, then i get another evil thought, it just wont leave, and i have sought the Lord so much for this. This past week it only has got worse, their a spirit that amost manipulating my feelings and thoughts and trying to get me to think evil about others and like a cursing spirit towards others. To want bad to happen to them, i absolutely cant get any control over it. Again when i do this then they attack my body. It just won't leave and i have gone through what could this be, what door i have i opened. I remember as a child i struggled with evil thoughts and a temptation to hurt my dogs and a temptation would come to kill them with an ask, but i loved my dogs and wouldn't want that ever., so i resisted it but things like that would happen. Also driving in the car with my sister and this overwhelming temptation to take the steering wheel my sister was controlling and taking it off the road, but i never did it, because i didnt want to.Also when i first began to read the scripture i remember as i would re Christ's name or God's i would have this hatred over reading their name and i was like where is this coming from, why am i angry, i shook it off and it left. So my point is i dont know if those situations can bring some light into maybe why this might be a problem. I don't know what door was opened, i have confessed every known sin and renounced them and have repented of them. But where is this cursing spirit coming from and why is their a spirit of laughter within me, and why are these demonic attacks so bad? Most of the demonic activity started when i began to live in an apartment with my wife before we were married, but their were signs of it before that when i began to live in sexual sin with her, i had huge problems with jealousy and their was always something spiritually that i foolishly didn't understand at the time. I became what i thought was a born again christian in october of 2003, being led by Christ. But i had a lack of knowledge and i hung out with unbelievers and did not know the scriptures that much at the time, though i was hearing the Holy Spirit and being convicted very my sins.But i lived in rebellion with my wife for 3 and a half years in sin without being married and she was unsaved. I really was walking in darkness in that time, i wanted to repent, but i always gave into the flesh. I got married trying to make things right, but it has only been years of torment and pain. In five years of being married i have had only maybe a little over a year without severe demonic attacks on my back, mind, etc. During that time i lead two bible studies and was going to school, but sadly i was struggling inwardly with a harened heart, not hearing the voice of God, became very critical, judgmental, hateful, unforgiving, selfish, i became exactly what romans 1 and galatians lists of the sins of the flesh. This has brought confusion of my salvation and assurance. I have been crying out to God for so long now and i really haven't told you all the demonic attacks. I use to have spirits attac my memory, my eyes, spirits trying to convince i was not human. I tried to take vitamins during this to see if they would help, but they haven't. I know its demonic, but Mark i have no idea what to do. I have talked to everyone, but really nothing has helped much. I use to play around with angel tarot cards, went to a psychic, use to ask my friend about the future about my life a little, also i tried casting out spirits out of people at my caregiving job who had dementia which might not have been a smart thing and their is probably more but i have confessed all i know and really it hasn't done much.

 2012/2/24 19:24
pilgrim777
Member



Joined: 2011/9/30
Posts: 1211


 Re:

Here is a litte song, bible4life.

No music, not great poetry but great truths. There is a Bible reference near each statement. It tells you who you are in Christ. (I don't know who wrote it)


IF THE LORD SAYS I AM, YES, I AM

If the Lord says I’m a Christian, yes, I am, Acts 11:26

If the Lord says I’m made new, yes, I am, 2 Cor. 5:17

If the Lord says I’m one spirit with Himself, 1 Cor. 6:17

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.


If the Lord says I’m a son, yes, I am, 1 John 3:2

If the Lord says I’m an heir, yes, I am, Rom. 8:17

If the Lord says I’m a citizen of His kingdom

here and now, Eph. 2:19

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.


If the Lord says I’m a vessel, yes, I am, 2 Cor. 4:7

If the Lord says I’m a branch, yes, I am, John 15:5

If the Lord says I’m a temple of His

Holy Spirit in me, 1 Cor. 6:19

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.


If the Lord says I’m a saint, yes, I am, 1 Cor. 1:2

If the Lord says I’m elect, yes, I am,

If the Lord says I’m a partaker of His 2 Tim. 2:10

divine nature, 2 Pet. 1:4

If the Lord says I am yes, I am.



If the Lord says I’m a priest, yes, I am, Rev. 1:6

If the Lord says I’m a king, yes, I am, Rev. 1:6

If the Lord says I am seated in the heavenly

places in Christ, Eph. 2:6

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.



If the Lord says I am holy, yes, I am, Eph. 1:4

If the Lord says I am blameless, yes, I am, Eph. 1:4

If the Lord says I am unreprovable in His sight, Col 1:22

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.



If the Lord says I’m complete, yes, I am, Col. 2:10

If the Lord says I am perfect, yes, I am, Phil. 3:15

If the Lord says that I am as He is in this world, 1 Jn. 4:17

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.



If the Lord says I am filled, yes, I am, 1 Cor. 4:8

If the Lord says I am strong, yes, I am, 1 Jn. 2:14

If the Lord says I am more than conqueror

in this world, Rom. 8:37

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am



If the Lord says I’m not I but He in me, yes, I am, Gal.2:20

If the Lord says I’m the world’s light, yes, I am, Matt.5: 14

If the Lord says I’m a god to whom His word has come, John 10:34-35

If the Lord says I am, yes, I am.

 2012/2/24 21:44Profile
carters
Member



Joined: 2011/5/24
Posts: 138
Australia

 Re:

Bible4life

I pray this is encouraging:

Take the focus off yourself.

You may end up driving yourself crazy but trying to fix yourself and think about every little thing you need to confess. Stop worrying and stressing.

Do some practical "action" things. If you start thinking bad, evil thoughts - go and do something for the Lord - volunteer, serve in some way, knock on your neighbour's door and see if they need help with lawns etc.

Another practical thing to do when you start to get these thoughts is: write a list of all the things you are grateful about in your life, from the Lord.

Read a Christian book, something meaty, a biography.

Write alist of things you can do to bless someone.

I think as Christians we live in an era now where there is so much attention on ourselves - deliverance ministry is rampant with this. Perhaps if we take that attention off ourselves and act and be used as a servant and serve others for Christ, our problems and overpowering thoughts may not actually be there after a while and our "demons" may not actually be "demons" just an overactive focus on ourselves instead of Christ.

I pray this helps.
And get busy for the Lord!


_________________
Mrs Carter

 2012/2/25 2:12Profile
lindi1208
Member



Joined: 2011/3/8
Posts: 173


 Re:

Hi bible4life

Sometime last year I downloaded and listened to a sermon by David Wilkerson on strongholds. Unfortunately I don't know how to put the direct link on here. The sermon is titled Hatching Snakes eggs by David Wilkerson. Look it up and listen to it. I found here under sermons by speakers. It is a powerful message on the battlefield of the mind and how the enemy injects evil thoughts in our minds then condemns us after we think them. Be blessed

Lindi


_________________
Lindi

 2012/2/25 6:03Profile









 Re:

i just burned the copy and listening to it, it is very good, thank you.

 2012/2/25 18:29
lindi1208
Member



Joined: 2011/3/8
Posts: 173


 Re: need prayers

You are welcome brother :)

Lindi


_________________
Lindi

 2012/2/26 8:11Profile









 Re:

sure need some prayer requests for protection right now and whatever door has been opened that it would be closed, i just am so confused with this situation and i am being attacked in my body and thoughtlife continually. My faith is either being blinded by these demonic spirits or i am losing my faith. I am struggling to think the right way and to serve the Lord at all. Today was another struggle i had another incident where i actually felt something hit the back of my neck again, this has happened before. I try to resist the evil spirits and seem to get some progress and then they attack me very strongly. I know i have believed some lie from the enemy somewhere down the road and i still most likely am, i am having a hard tie getting out of this the enemy has a stronghold on me. What else can i do, i have begged everyone for prayer, tried going on limbs and not ask anyone for prayer requests and tried just trusting God and still things havent got better, i have fasted and have almost like 50 pounds, does God really want me to go through this. I mean get evil thoughts coming in and out of my head daily and then i get accused for the thoughts and then i start getting attacked in my body because of this and then i try to resist to no avail everytime, the enemy gets me some how or someway. Please pray for me still and stand with me in prayer, this is tormenting me, i can't seem to think the right way either.

 2012/3/2 1:33
onemite
Member



Joined: 2011/9/19
Posts: 168


 Re:

Bible4life, I have had similar experiences in my past.
The Lord has freed me from what bound me then. I do not know why some are harassed so blatantly while others seem to never be made aware of the spiritual war going on around them but the enemy isn't fair. He has not the mercy of God.
I do know that for myself, he had entered through my own weaknesses, although I also opened doors through blatant rebellion in my teen years. I had been yielding myself to feelings of anger, hatred and despair, yet in the Lords mercy, He allowed me eyes to see that my own behavior and thought life had given the devil a foothold and he was compounding my problem. I felt a pull to "go with the flow" when these feelings arose, and sometimes I would be overcome with laughter that I can only describe as lusty. Indeed, man would call it insanity but by the grace of God, I was able to see that the enjoyment I felt was not all my own, yet I still had a choice to make: allow myself to delve into the depths of depravity and go with the pull or cry out to God and resist.
I can remember it was one of the most difficult times in my life. I would at any moment fall on my knees before the Lord just crying to Him to keep me in His care. It was difficult because I remember very well the resistance and hostility I felt towards God at times- yet deep down inside there I was as one put in a deep well and held captive. I could hardly hear my own voice, but it was from there that I asked the Lord to save me. I didn't trust myself to be good.I wasnt even sure about the deity of Jesus at that time, but God knew I wanted to know Him with all that I was and he even honored my using his name (JESUS)when I felt unable to speak any other word.
I don't know if you can identify with any of this, but I can tell you that God is truly faithful and merciful and He will not leave you as prey for the evil one. He saved me and he will save you too.
I had nobody on earth to pray for me and no church. Now I realize this was to my advantage, for my only dependence was to be on God himself. I started reading the bible prayerfully. Each time I opened it I asked for the HOly Spirit to reveal the truth to me about Jesus and when hateful thoughts came to my mind, I would ask the Lord for help. I grabbed onto some promises that I could keep as my own from Psalms and when I was plagued with various thoughts, I would immediately bring them captive and into obedience of Jesus in truth. The more I "saw" Jesus being revealed in the old testament, the stronger I became. I received deliverance from what ailed me and also what was oppressing me began to lift. My fear of the devil finally was broken through a book someone had given me that showed me in scripture who I am in Christ and how he redeemed me. For me, it was "Lord, Is it Warfare? Teach me to Stand." By Kay Arthur. I am sure there are many good books on the subject, but God sure used that book to teach me.
Learn what it is to live lke Jesus. THe bible says to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God and to resist the devil and he will flee from us. God will reveal to you whatever needs revealed. You do not have to rack your brain for it. Be honest and open with the LOrd. No darkness can remain when we bring it to the light. He is the name above all names, the name by which every knee will bow and every tongue confess as Lord. He is Jesus, and he has defeated the works of the devil, and purchased you and me by his blood. Talk with Him, your redeemer.Consider focusing on the sermon on the mount in Matt 5,6,7. He calls to us "follow me." and he has shown us the way by the way he lived.

 2012/3/2 3:34Profile
Jer2
Member



Joined: 2012/2/19
Posts: 25


 Re:

Onemite, I heartily agree with what you've written!

Bible4life, I, too, had a big struggle against attacks through my mind at different times in my life. The greatest help was in trusting God through it and in responding with a single scripture each time the thought came. Later, when I had some fellowship, prayer definitely helped.

I had some unusual fear when I was 17. It was from watching horror movies and some involvement with the occult. I repented of these things and received forgiveness. I kept assuring myself that these things were dead and I did not need to keep bringing them up because the Lord said if we confessed (repented of) them, He would cleanse us from them.

Then, as I had strong fears, I would come back at them with the scripture that "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment." I knew that God's perfect love was able to cast out the fear and reminded myself of that. I had to do this a lot over a period of some days, and sometimes was saying the scripture out loud over and over, saying that was the truth that I believed, not the lies coming to my mind. Finally, the fear was broken, and forever after that, I only had to do a little maintenance(confront with God's truth) if fear tried to come back.

There have been other such struggles, but I learned from this one how to take thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ, as Onemite talks of. Before, I had let any defeatist, discouraging, fearful thought come to me without any resistance, and so it was a struggle to break my habit. Once I did, it was a lesson that worked well the rest of my life.

It was hard work to keep coming back with what God said about fear as I kept being assaulted, but once I got the victory, it was complete.

Oh! I believe that God will quicken something to you that will show you that you CAN repent, and that the Holy Spirit is giving you help so that you can.

Don't let doubts overpower the scriptures, and the assurances and help that God wants to give you. Grab hold of even one scripture that is quickened to you and use it like a lifeline until you are through the attack. Get another scripture, if you need to, for another attack, or use the same one to respond to the lies coming at you, but don't let go. Couple this with asking God to help you, and I believe that you will find freedom. I am praying that you will, quickly.

 2012/3/2 9:13Profile





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