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Theophila
Member



Joined: 2007/1/15
Posts: 365


 Re: Adultrey

Dear Lord,
Please show Lovefirst what to do and give him the courage to do it! We, his brethren, know so little but all of his life is an open book before You.

Please help him get over this rather large huddle. Please don't let the enemy take advantage of this home because of this situation.

Whatever else happens, let him clearly know what to do and how to do it.

Thank you, Father. I ask this in Jesus' name, amen.


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Tolu

 2011/5/3 11:52Profile
narrowpath
Member



Joined: 2005/1/9
Posts: 1067
Germany NRW

 Re: Adultrey

Your conscience pricks you that is why you ask the question. Consciousness comes from God, accusation from Satan. What would you do if you had stolen before you came to Christ? Would it be right for you to keep the stolen goods? Of course not. If you sinned against her after you got married, you should confess it to her. Only confessed sins are forgiven. I did tell my wife about my sins I committed before we got married.


Be careful to get counsel in an open forum, you get all sorts of opinions which leads to confusion, it better to speak to a trusted person faces to face.

 2011/5/3 10:57Profile
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3394
East TN (for now)

 Re: Adultrey

Quote:
Lysa. However, if that relationship produced a child, your wife should know.


Ginnyrose is absolutely correct, you would have to tell her then. I hope it didn't produce a child.


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Lisa

 2011/5/3 10:18Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7469
Mississippi

 Re: Adultrey

I agree with Lysa. However, if that relationship produced a child, your wife should know. Given the times we are in most children will at some time want to meet their biological parents, be they adopted or not. What would your family's reaction be if someone were to call your house and tell your wife that your husband is my daddy? and that, yes, he/she was conceived after you had married her?

Sin creates a storm for those close to you...


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Sandra Miller

 2011/5/3 9:50Profile









 Re: Adultrey

I'd say No as well, because if it was before Christ - than it's under the blood and in the sea of forgetfulness so what right have you to pick it back out from where GOD has forgiven and forgotten it - when it would also just Hurt your wife.
It's under the blood, forgiven, forgotten and to throw it at her wouldn't just hurt her but take-back the work of Christ's suffering for you, for that sin.

 2011/5/3 9:23
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3394
East TN (for now)

 Re: Adultrey

Quote:
Lovefirst wrote:
If a married man commits adultrey, should he confess this sin to his wife? I commited adultrey long before me and my wife committed ourselfs to Christ.


My vote is no. I know people will disagree with me but my vote is still no. Why do you feel this need to possibly break her heart with this information that is long behind you? I believe that you can seek the Lord for release of this guilt without including your wife,.... unless you are feeling the pull to do it again with another woman and you think that telling her will fix that?

Security plays a HUGE part in a woman’s marriage, security in life, emotionally security and stability and there many others elements that are there and if you tell her, absolutely everything that meant something to her will have been a farce; nothing she felt secure with – will have been true (in her mind and her emotions). Even the most spiritual woman’s foundation will be shaken to the core to find out her husband was not faithful.

If you tell her, are you willing to put in the work.... FOR MAYBE YEARS to let her know that you are in it for the long haul? I do not know your wife but I’m pretty sure that even after all these years – telling her will affect the most intimate parts of your marriage.. That spontaneous smile you get from her at different times? Yeah, it won’t be there anymore possibly for long awhile. Some men may say, “Yes, I can handle it,” but a few months in to it become bitter because she just can’t forgive and forget and act like nothing ever happened especially in the bedroom.

It’s going to take a LOT of work, stuff you never dreamed of and if you are not willing to walk with this out in love (possibly for years) with her; then do not tell her; find your guilt released from the Lord. He can give it to you and you too can move on as if nothing happened and feel no guilt!

That’s just my two cents of experience, take it or leave it.
God bless you in your decision,
Lisa


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Lisa

 2011/5/3 9:12Profile
Zionshield
Member



Joined: 2007/2/13
Posts: 135
Ohio

 Re: Adultrey

You will need to listen to the Holy Spirit about this. Have you asked the Lord? Are you close enough to hear Him?
Only He knows the timing and the way.

If you don't tell her you will have a block between you and her, preventing intimacy. Its important as you may know not to just unleash this on her. You really need to hear from the Lord on this matter.

Also Joe Dallas has a good book, The Game Plan, that has some things that would help you deal with this.


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Randy Lambert

 2011/5/2 23:17Profile
Lovefirst
Member



Joined: 2011/4/2
Posts: 103
Lake Charles, LA

 Adultrey

If a married man commits adultrey, should he confess this sin to his wife? I commited adultrey long before me and my wife committed ourselfs to Christ.

I know that this may be a touchy subject for some, I feel it's safe to discuss since noone knows who I am.


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Bryan Reed

 2011/5/2 23:04Profile





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