He is right there with you.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16He is always there, but you must believe.
He is there, you just can't see Him.It sounds like you have been really busy . . .
Get down on your face, close your eyes, and praise Him.