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Discussion Forum : Scriptures and Doctrine : Marriage/Divorce & Remarriage- What does God say about it?

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npautsky
Member



Joined: 2003/9/10
Posts: 82
Texas

 Re:

Here is what I am aware of that God says in the new testament about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. If anyone knows of another verse that speaks to this subject please let me know.I have listed the verses here in the order that they appear.

Matt.5:32

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matt.14:3,4

For Herod had laid hold on John, and bound him, and put him in prison for Herodias' sake, his brother Philip's wife.

For John said unto him, It is not lawful for thee to have her.

Matt.19:6,9

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mark 6:18

For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother's wife.

Mark 10:9,11,12

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Luke 3:19,20

But Herod the tetrarch, being reproved by him for Herodias his brother Philip's wife, and for all the evils which Herod had done,

Added yet this above all, that he shut up John in prison.

Luke 16:18

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Rom. 7:2,3

For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

1Cor.7:10,11

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

1Cor.7:15,17,20

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

1Cor.7:27,28,39

Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~
Some of these verses may not apply to this subject but I have included them because I have heard them used in previous discussions about remarriage.















_________________
Noel Pautsky

 2004/12/11 0:44Profile
CJaKfOrEsT
Member



Joined: 2004/3/31
Posts: 901
Melbourne, Australia

 Re: Divorce

NP,

Essentially, we shouldn't divorce because God hates divorce. What do we do about those who are already divorced? What can I say....what a mess.

My rationale behind my previous statments can be found at Righteous Submission vs Zealous Obedience to Principle. I'd hate to fill this thread up with something seemingly irrelevent....although, aparently the few words I have used haven't been sufficient.

Blessing.


_________________
Aaron Ireland

 2004/12/11 7:28Profile
jeffpine
Member



Joined: 2004/9/28
Posts: 1


 Re:

hi:
re: 1 Cor 7:27-8. i wish to state that original languages like greek and hebrew dont have periods and paragraphs. so one can read just as correct the following: art thou loosed from a wife seek not a wife but and if thou marry thou hast not sinned
THIS SOUNDS LIKE GRACE AND FREEDOM TO ME. BE FREE IN CHRIST MY FRIENDS.

 2004/12/11 17:12Profile
lastblast
Member



Joined: 2004/10/16
Posts: 528
Michigan

 Re:

Concerning the "loosed" issue of I Cor. 7:27, there are two different words used there: lusis (3080, strong's) and luo (3089). Lusis, surely can mean divorce. In the first part of the passage when Paul states "seek not to be loosed"(lusis), he is not speaking of killing oneself or their partner in order to be free, he is speaking about divorce or some kind of loosening. The men are not to seek this type of loosening----which also relates back to Paul's teaching in verse 10-11----that men are not to put away their wives. Those who do put away their wives would be sinning should they remarry........blessings in Him........Cindy


_________________
Cindy

 2004/12/12 19:47Profile
npautsky
Member



Joined: 2003/9/10
Posts: 82
Texas

 Re:

Hello Aaron I.

I read your new post in the other thread, I think I will pass on any further comments on this subject, I guess I just see things a little differently from you. As for your question about what to do about those that are already divorced. This kind of question is exactly what I am trying to understand the answer to. What is good and what is evil? What does Gods word direct us to do in these situations? Surely Gods word has direction for us about matters so important as these. At least Jesus thought it was important enough to see that it was mentioned in three gospels and a few other places in the bible.

God bless


_________________
Noel Pautsky

 2004/12/12 23:56Profile
npautsky
Member



Joined: 2003/9/10
Posts: 82
Texas

 Re:

Hello jeffpine

If "loosed from a wife" means either the wife died or was unfaithful, then I agree with you and it looks like to me, tho I am not certain, that Jesus statement in Matt. 19:9 would allow it to be understood this way. I would appreciate any other observations you might have about this subject.

God bless


_________________
Noel Pautsky

 2004/12/13 0:16Profile
npautsky
Member



Joined: 2003/9/10
Posts: 82
Texas

 Re:

Hello again lb,

I find your comments helpful and appreciate your input.

Thanks


_________________
Noel Pautsky

 2004/12/13 0:35Profile
Berea14
Member



Joined: 2004/11/23
Posts: 8


 Re: Marriage & Divorce thread

Hi all and Hi there Aaron,
Yup, thought I would stumble upon this topic. Aaron, as you are well aware, this is a subject rather agonising in quite a few ways. The only thing that I can put in here is that when God moves on a person or couple and starts to shake things then the thread comes loose if and when the couple are not bound and secure in the foundation of Jesus Christ. There are many influencing factors of which at this point in time I probably won't go into. There are many pointers that God gives to keep a marriage. Unfortunatley there is a very real and spiritual enemy to marriage. The attacks come from many a front and to be able to dicerne them all is impossible humanly speaking. The truth sets free and wounds are bound up. The only thing that ends a marriage is remarriage. Divorce is not permanent unless made so by taking another partner. Unfortunately we all commit sin enough that validates the legality of divorce. So, do we live by the law or by grace. The definition of these are extremely deep and yet are founded upon experience and revelation according to the extent that Christ is the throne of our lives. What does one do when one knows that these things are from God? God hates divorce but He has not said that He will not cause such. Secondly, was it not Him who divorced Himslef from a nation in the Old Testament due to their disobedience etc. Please understand that this is not an excuse to commit this sin of hard heartedness. Hard heartedness comes from a loss of first love. The cooling of fires and the development of selfishness. This and the fact that people get stuck in developmental stages of love, all form part of a breakdown. I am rather convinced that when the wind blows on a marriage it is God trying to get each person to move into a deeper form of love by placing the other person before their own needs and desires whilst developing an awareness in each party to the needs and desires of the other. The important thing here is drawing people deeper into Him. Marriage is a covenant between two people and Jesus. A wedding is a ceremony of vow with Jesus. When christians divorce then they are essentially divorcing/rejecting Jesus in their partner or the work that He is doing in that partner. Why do people only see the flesh side of their partner and not the work of God in them?
Well, it is a lot of thoughts and yet alas I do not feel as though I have contributed much as I haven't given detail.
Feel free to respond here or directly to me as I am keen to learn and serve if He deems fit.
God bless all and take care.


_________________
Deon

 2004/12/13 2:24Profile
lastblast
Member



Joined: 2004/10/16
Posts: 528
Michigan

 Re:

Quote:
The only thing that ends a marriage is remarriage. Divorce is not permanent unless made so by taking another partner.



Hi Berea,

I'd have to disagree with you here. In Rom. 7:2-3 we see divorce/remarriage-adultery, yet Paul tells that the "bond" with her previous husband will continue until he dies...........then she will be free to be with another. This one passage is a real sticking point to me when I try to fit in all the arguments for marital dissolution that are taught. Some say adultery within a marriage dissolves the marriage----however, when pressed then they will admit it only dissolves the marriage if the innocent party wants it dissolved. So the act of adultery does not dissolve a marriage. Some teach as you do, when one is remarried, their previous union is dissolved. As shown in Rom. 7:2-3, that is not the case. I am left at this point of study only seeing death as dissolving a marriage and freedom gained through that to remarry. All other viewpoints seem to hold one contradiction with scripture or another.

Right now my husband and I are really struggling with what our church teaches on this topic. They believe and practice in their counselling that ALL divorce dissolves the marriage bond, yet if Christians divorce, they are counselled to remarry each other. We can't quite figure that one out. They also don't believe any remarriage is adultery---contrary to what Jesus taught.........So much confusion and ever changing stances in the church on this topic, which surely is not of God.

Quote:
When christians divorce then they are essentially divorcing/rejecting Jesus in their partner or the work that He is doing in that partner. Why do people only see the flesh side of their partner and not the work of God in them?



That is exactly my heart's cry too! Divorce/remarriage is nothing short of fulfilling the flesh's desires IN THIS LIFE. It speaks: "I do not want what I have been given. I want something different/better." When I think of standing in the gap for a spouse caught up in sin/rebellion this scripture comes to mind: It is no longer I that live, but Christ who lives in me. That is not just an ideal---one we can throw aside when life becomes difficult/tumultuous----it is what we have been called to if we are born again. There is no place in the life of a disciple of Christ's for unforgiveness or having the mindset of :"moving on" or looking for "loopholes" or "allowances" and wresting scripture to do what one wants (flesh wise). WWJD? He would not desert any who are sanctified for His purposes. He would stand, knowing His Work will be perfected----in HIS perfect time.........As you can probably tell, biblical marriage is a passion of mine ;-)


_________________
Cindy

 2004/12/13 15:58Profile
Berea14
Member



Joined: 2004/11/23
Posts: 8


 Re: Marriage again

Hi there Lastblast,
Yeah, I certainly do agree with you on all counts. I sincerely apologise if I have not explained fully all that I intended. As regards marriage being ended by remarriage to another. I do not mean that it is dissolved by God. Commitment to another partner makes restoration of the original marriage near impossible. One of the reasons being that the partner is fulfilled by their new partner to approxiamatley 70% emotionally. The odd thing is that the way that thay are fulfilled is virtually identical in way but different in manner to their original partner. In other words, when remarrying, people normally choose someone nearly exactly the same!! Conclusion, there is less than 5% chance of success. This is a stat that is universal. The problem displayed is seldom the problem. Time also does not heal. The only advice I can give anyone is that there are a lot of contibuting factors to a marriage breakdown. One of the most important is that a husband or wife did not break ties with his or her direct family and adopt the realisation that they are their own family. The breaking of this bond to move things into a higher level of growth in maturity is seldom done by either partner or their parents. There is a pull by parents and a resistence to not letting go by the child. The issue becomes an issue when the adults bear their own children but do not grow into the correct stage of love that Jesus wants us to. WWJD? I prefer WDJD! In other words, don't try and guess what He would do. What is He doing! Here is a mindset that will challenge us all if we meditate on that fact. Don't try and replace Him or mimic Him. The biggest issue I have come to grapple with lately is that I need to stop trying to live by the tree of the knowledge of good and bad. Right and wrong end up in the same basket. Choose life. If each person will humble themselves He will show His ways. People have a choice and we will be held accountable. This is all a heart subject, I have tried the right and wrong approach. It doesn't work. The only thing to combat the marriage break ups is seeking Him. Fast, pray and ask for humility. Pray mercy, truth and decernment for struggling couples. Repent on their behalf. Are you willing to pay the price? Do these things only if He directs you to. It is a hard topic and yes, I agree, it does have huge ups and downs. People need to remember that as in Rev 2 we are encouraged/admonished to get that first love back into our lives. We can fall in love again!! Totally opposite to the normal of "I don't love him/her anymore". Funny things happen when one or both start doing the little things that they did when they were madly in love in the beginning. You start to experience the same feelings. Call it body memory or whatever. How long will the other partner wait? How much is the other partner willing to pay? Marriage is worth it but it isn't our marriage. All that is ours is His. It belongs to Him and He is the covenant keeper. We, as believers, are ministers of reconcilliation. I will ask that you receive a mantle for reconcilliation if it is your desire and His will. If you agree then let me know. I only seek that His will be done before our own no matter what.
God bless and will look in sometime soon. :-)


_________________
Deon

 2004/12/14 1:47Profile





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