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 Re: Divorce and Re Marriage

Quote:

bigdaveusa wrote:
I have met a girl and we have become very close. She is 42 and never married and I am 39 and married briefly and then divorced when I was 19. I was not a christian at the time, or some would say that I was a carnal christian, however I am a christian now.
The question that I am faced with is: Am I allowed to re marry? This woman wants badly to marry me, and everyone is telling me that it's fine , but I have heard other views on the subject, and I really don't have a peace about it.
I am hoping that my brothers and sisters here at SI can help me find an answer to my dilemma.
Thanks....

:-?


Well, your first error was to let some folks hear that you dont have peace about it.
They will inevitably state that this is God telling you 'no' when most likely it is the hearing the naysayers warn of hellfire if you remarry that is causing your discomfort.


Yes, you are allowed to remarry.
If you and your first wife both were christians, then scripture calls you to remain single or reconcile if possible.

God Himself has said it is not good for man to be alone.
Jesus shows that few are given the ability to live celebate lives.

You made a mistake in younger years, you are not required to live alone the rest of your life over that mistake.


 2006/5/8 20:46
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3422
Texas

 Re:

Boy this is a touchy subject that has probably been review since 1 AD but again with most posts here we can all find scripture pro and con on any subject "seen it hundreds of times here" if were looking hard enough, as I always say "if" the Holy Spirit resides in you go there first and you will probably get your answer, unless you like confusion then post and ask. We sometimes forget about the Holy Spirit has all the answers and he has never confused me, yes the Word is a wonderful tool "if" you will let each scripture minister to "you" personally and forget what it's saying to someone else, if your reading scriptures and not letting them minister to you and are going by what someone else says it's ministering to them then you reading is in vain, that is my personal opinion. It's sometimes tough to get out of the box, but when you do life is so much more enjoyable. :-)


_________________
Bill

 2006/5/8 20:52Profile









 Re:

Quote:

poetwarrior wrote:
How is it that a person can remarry under any circumstance after a divorce, whether they were a christian or not at tha time? It looks to me as though God's word is very clear on the matter. :-?


yes, it is clear in stating that adultery is committed upon remarriage EXCEPT where sexual sin was committed by a spouse to begin with....that much is VERY clear indeed.

what isnt clear is this 'perpetual adultery' idea.

 2006/5/8 20:53









 Re: Divorce and Re Marriage

Quote:

bigdaveusa wrote:
I have met a girl and we have become very close. She is 42 and never married and I am 39 and married briefly and then divorced when I was 19. I was not a christian at the time, or some would say that I was a carnal christian, however I am a christian now.
The question that I am faced with is: Am I allowed to re marry? This woman wants badly to marry me, and everyone is telling me that it's fine , but I have heard other views on the subject, and I really don't have a peace about it.
I am hoping that my brothers and sisters here at SI can help me find an answer to my dilemma.
Thanks....

:-?


God hates divorce, there is no getting around that fact.
But it is also a fact that divorce happens, as does remarriage.

You are not condemned to a life alone over the sins of a man barely out of childhood.

Here is my study showing conclusively that there were remarried divorcees in the church.
Limitations were put on these as this situation isnt the example to live by, but clearly they were in fellowship with the brethren.

====================================================

Evidences of divorce and remarriage in the Church

Evidences that there were divorcees who had remarried in the church are found in the list of widows and the requirements for bishops.

>-1Tim 5:9 Do not let a widow be enrolled having become less than sixty years old, the wife of one man,
>-Titus 1:6 if anyone is blameless, husband of one wife, having believing children, not accused of loose behavior, or disobedient.
>-1Tim 3:2 Then it behooves the overseer to be without reproach, husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, well-ordered, hospitable, apt at teaching,

Wife of one man

This requirement clearly is not speaking of a woman who had a man-harem.
There is no real issue of women marrying multiple husbands given in the bible nor in historical accounts.
This leaves either the remarried widow, or the remarried divorcee.
It cannot be a remarried widow as no law forbad the widow to remarry. Paul even tells widows

"I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
(1Co 7:8-9 KJV)

Paul would be setting these widows up to be rejected from this list later if she did remarry.
Also, Paul even insists that younger widows REmarry here...

But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
(1Ti 5:11-14 KJV)

He absolutely would be condemning this woman in later years to be rejected the churches help by forcing her to remarry now.
We know Paul was not so callous and uncaring by his instruction for the helping of widows he gave.

The ONLY possibility for this "wife of one man" is that she was divorced and remarried.
That is the ONLY possibility from scripture.
It is the only thing that is clearly corrected in Gods word.

and yet this woman is still in fellowship...not being cast out of the assembly such as the man who had his fathers wife and WAS living in fornication.

Her life was not exemplary, so she couldnt be added to the list of widows, but she WAS in the church and in fellowship.

The requisite for her to have been the wife of ONE man CLEARLY indicates that she COULD have been the wife of more than one husband in her lifetime....aka a remarried divorcee...a direct contradictoin to this lying doctrine that says second marriages arent marriages but 'affairs'...

husband of one wife

We see here that these are requirements of those in higher positions in the church..folks who are to set the EXAMPLE for the rest to follow.
We will discuss the possible meanings here of ''husband of one wife''


It cannot refer to those who are widowed. as the remarried widow(er) was not prohibited or restricted in any manner I have seen, Paul even recommends that younger widows remarry. Paul would be purposefully making it impossible for a woman to later to be accepted to this list of widows for no good reason if he were speaking the remarried widow in 1 tim 5:9 above instead of a remarried divorcee.

To provide evidence from GODS word, lets see this..
"one ruling his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence;
for if one does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? "
(1Ti 3:4-5 EMTV)

This clearly shows that this man must be one who can maintain his own household, even the obedience of his children. A man whos been divorced and remarried MAY not be the best person for this job.


It is very unlikely that it ONLY speaks to polygamists as there is nothing in the NT that clearly condemns the act and Ive not found that the practice was as rampant as some try to assert...I suggest you do your own study to see if Im right or wrong.

We must see in scipture what meaning to put to this phrase 'husband of one wife'

Of all the possibilities, ONLY divorce and remarriage is corrected clearly in scripture. We can assume that frivolous divorce and remarriage would immediately bar one from the prominent position of bishop.
But Paul makes no distinction, so we must assume that he also means those who divorced an adulteress then remarried as well (just to be on the safe side). Showing that these, although not the most prominent persons, were indeed still in fellowship with the rest of our brethren.

Some will state that this have put away these second marriages, but what I find very peculiar is that, if this matter were so crucial to salvation, Paul should surely have made a point of it. "Only if these second wives have been put away''. The way its left, it sounds very much like they could have still been with the person.

Another issue is that those of the anti-remarriage camp state that this second "marriage" is not a marriage at all, but an adulterous affair.
The clear implication above is that the second marriage is a recognized one, if it weren't, then Paul would have simply called these people adulterers and surely they wouldnt even be in fellowship. Let alone being considered for the position of Bishop.

It is also notable that Paul nowhere states that these second marriages were invalid, nor does he state that these people were to have left this second spouse. In fact, in 1 cor 7 Paul tells these frivolously parted from their spouse to ''remain UNmarried or reconcile........"...showing that REmarriage is quite possible indeed even if wrong to do.

Some folks will use a preposterous example of Paul also not telling gays to separate (or some other irrelevant distraction), but Jesus offered NO exception to gay couples, did He ? His exception is clearly speaking of a MAN and a WOMAN...and husband and a wife when He made His exception for sexual sin.


http://www.geocities.com/divorceandremarriage/15.html

 2006/5/8 21:02









 Re:

Quote:

MrBillPro wrote:
Boy this is a touchy subject that has probably been review since 1 AD but again with most posts here we can all find scripture pro and con on any subject "seen it hundreds of times here" if were looking hard enough, as I always say "if" the Holy Spirit resides in you go there first and you will probably get your answer, unless you like confusion then post and ask. We sometimes forget about the Holy Spirit has all the answers and he has never confused me, yes the Word is a wonderful tool "if" you will let each scripture minister to "you" personally and forget what it's saying to someone else, if your reading scriptures and not letting them minister to you and are going by what someone else says it's ministering to them then you reading is in vain, that is my personal opinion. It's sometimes tough to get out of the box, but when you do life is so much more enjoyable. :-)


"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
(2Ti 2:15)

This is my personal motto as God has given us His word and knows our minds and spirits can be duped into believing things not quite true.

Going with 'feelings', even when we believe them to be from God, can be very dangerous...Satan himself can appear as a angel of light...ALL things must be tested by the word He has given us.

 2006/5/8 21:06
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3422
Texas

 Re:

As I said, we can all find scripture pro and con on any subject "seen it hundreds of times here" if were looking hard enough and you just proved it thanks. :-) Me I will go with the Holy Spirit before scripture if not why do I need him?

Going with 'feelings', even when we believe them to be from God, can be very dangerous. Going with feeling and going with the Holy Spirit is not even close and that is not what I meant sorry you took that wrong.


_________________
Bill

 2006/5/8 21:11Profile
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3422
Texas

 Re:

Might I add, If a person receives eternal salvation and the fullness of the indwelling Holy Spirit through wholeheartedly trusting in the crucified Christ, why in the world would he trade in supernatural power for human effort? That's what Paul wanted to know in Galatians 3. You cannot achieve a spiritual goal by natural means. The Holy Spirit produces spiritual life initially and He also sustains it. The Holy Spirit is to the Christian what the Creator is to the creation.

Without God the world would never have come into existence. And without His sustaining it, the world would go out of existence. Similarly, without the Holy Spirit none of us would ever become saved. And without His constant sanctifying, sustaining, and preserving work, the spiritual life of the Christian would drop back into the spiritual deadness whence it came. Paul said, "He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6). Indeed, "we live by the Spirit" (Gal. 5:25).

In the evangelical church today so many are attempting to perfect in the flesh what was begun by the Spirit. Systematically and subtly, the Holy Spirit is being eliminated from the matter of sanctification. That poses a monumental threat to the church. Unless we are perfected by the Holy Spirit, all our efforts are in vain.


_________________
Bill

 2006/5/8 21:47Profile









 Re:

Quote:

MrBillPro wrote:
As I said, we can all find scripture pro and con on any subject "seen it hundreds of times here" if were looking hard enough and you just proved it thanks. :-) Me I will go with the Holy Spirit before scripture if not why do I need him?


You do know that the SPIRIT is where those scriptures came from, right?

Your comment is frightening indeed for all of us who cherish the word God has given us for the TESTING of SOUND doctrine....WE will "test" the word you supposedly have from this spirit against His whole word....as we must.

Quote:
Going with 'feelings', even when we believe them to be from God, can be very dangerous. Going with feeling and going with the Holy Spirit is not even close and that is not what I meant sorry you took that wrong.


If youre not testing everything you hear from any spirit against Gods WRITTEN word, you may well be living on a very thin lake of ice dear friend.
He gave us His written word for a very necessary purpose.

God bless
wm

 2006/5/9 11:34
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3422
Texas

 Re:

Well you have your opinion as I have mine, but as proven here the word can be confusing as we "all" have proved here we scripture fight "that is what I call it" so yes before I will get caught up in the scripture fighting I personally need something solid in my life I can totally depend on and that is the Holy Spirit. You said were did the Word come from? you said the spirit and your exactly right so why would I feel ashamed to listen to something that the Word came from "originally"? I am clueless why you even made this statement. I have made no statements that "anyone" should take the Word with a grain of salt, as I interrupt what your are saying I said,
Yes the Word is here for a reason but if someone don't understand it that well and reading here only confuses you more I choose to live by the spirit and I don't think I will go the hell from living by the spirit. Bottom line "We All" have to work out our "own" salvation and that is exactly what we should do and not let your family or friends work it out for you, me I choose to listen to were the Word originated from the Spirit and no I still read and study the word, but I do it privately and keep my comments on what that scripture ministered to me to myself and not force my opinion of the scripture on anyone because that is pure wrong, not to mention just more confusing maybe some like to live a confusing life me I like to be on solid ground and the Holy Spirit has proven to me many,many, times it can keep me there.


You said:
Your comment is frightening indeed for all of us who cherish the word

My question is what has happened to the Holy Spirit has he been put on the back burner of todays Christian?


_________________
Bill

 2006/5/9 11:57Profile









 Re:

Quote:

My question is what has happened to the Holy Spirit has he been put on the back burner of todays Christian?


Why would the Spirit contradict Himself ?
He wouldnt.
So there should be no fear in testing everything against the word He inspired.

No one is putting Him on the back burner.
We are admitting our own weakness that even as Eve, we can be easily manipulated into believing something that isnt true.

Our only true way of testing what we 'believe' to be from God is against His word.

We are both free to believe what we wish.
I will continue to hold His word as the final authority in all matters of our faith.

 2006/5/9 18:38





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