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MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3229
Texas

 About at my wits end here.

I need some "Christian" advise here, I have a 33 year old daughter that has never been married raising 3 children 16,13,and 5 the father is in jail for life, she gets no child support she is in the Church now she Loves the Lord and also a Prayer partner at Church she has been forgiven and she is trying to live right now and do right. I have had burden of trying to keep her family and mine afloat. My wife and I of 34 years started over with our children because we both Love children and wasn't looking forward to an empty nest so we also have son's 17 and 12, I give my Daughter money "all" the time and she now owes me $2000.00 on one of my credit cards, $400.00 for car insurance she makes $36,000 a year at her job.

I can't relate to that and how to live off a fixed income I have worked for myself for 30 years, although I am not rich God has Blessed me with a good income to support "one" family with our needs. I hate debt I have paid off my work truck and my wife's car just to get my debt down. My wife thinks my Daughter is living high on the hog off Daddy's money and that we suffer here because me always helping out my daughter. Of course Christmas is near daughter is needing money and now Dad don't know what to do if I loan her "more" money am I being an enabler? or is it Biblical that it is my responsibility to take care of her family also?

This all has created such a burden on my heart because now my Daughter has called off Christmas here with the family "I knew this would happen" because I am refusing at this moment to loan her more money. I have Prayed about this many times and have not received an answer, I know there are others just like me out there, but I want Christian advise with maybe some scriptures to let me know what I need to do. I really hate to post my personal problems here but my heart is so heavy I almost feel like crying and will probably end up crying anyway before it's all over. I Love my Daughter and my Grand kids very much and I don't not want to see them suffer at all, but I also don't need the strife at my home that I will encounter if I loan my daughter more money, what in the world does a man do?
Thanks For Listening
Mr. Bill


_________________
Mr. Bill

 2006/12/11 15:57Profile









 Re: About at my wits end here.

MrBill,

Anyone's advise to you will be from human reasoning at best, regardless of their knowledge of the scripture though it may be based solely upon sripture. However, I believe there comes a time in everyones life when things truly "go south" that the question must be asked: What would Jesus do --- fix the temporal at the expense of the eternal?

Would God have you interfere with what He may be trying accomplish, if indeed that is what He is tryng to do? --- and I always believe that is the case.

May God give you His wisdom and strength in this,

Orm

 2006/12/11 16:35
mamaluk
Member



Joined: 2006/6/12
Posts: 524


 Re:

Quote:
Anyone's advise to you will be from human reasoning at best, regardless of their knowledge of the scripture though it may be based solely upon sripture. However, I believe there comes a time in everyones life when things truly "go south" that the question must be asked: What would Jesus do --- fix the temporal at the expense of the eternal?



AMEN x 3 !! Brother Orm!

MrBill,

I'll pray.
mamaluk
In Christ

 2006/12/11 16:42Profile
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3229
Texas

 Re:

Thank I appreciate the feedback and I knew there is no silver bullet fix here, I know the answer will come through constant Prayer, I have never known God to be early but he is never late he is always right on time. I guess I was just looking for some sort of direction here, and if I don't get any that's really ok, because that would led me to believe God has other plans, and maybe even a huge Blessing right around the corner for my daughter, or me who knows, but we can be sure of one thing God is still on the throne, And He will remember His own, Tho’ trials may press us and burdens distress us,He never will leave us alone;
Thanks
Mr. Bill


_________________
Mr. Bill

 2006/12/11 16:55Profile
mamaluk
Member



Joined: 2006/6/12
Posts: 524


 Re:

Quote:
Thank I appreciate the feedback and I knew there is no silver bullet fix here, [b]I know the answer will come through constant Prayer, I have never known God to be early but he is never late he is always right on time.[/b] :-) I guess I was just looking for some sort of direction here, and if I don't get any that's really ok, because that would led me to believe God has other plans, and maybe even a huge Blessing right around the corner for my daughter, or me who knows,[b] but we can be sure of one thing God is still on the throne, And He will remember His own, Tho’ trials may press us and burdens distress us,He never will leave us alone;[/b]



Now this really blesses my heart, you will be mighty fine, and I'll pray that whatever God's guidance turns out to be, it will be as clear as His Light.

Thank[i][b]you[/b][/i] , MrBill

 2006/12/11 17:16Profile
ccchhhrrriiisss
Member



Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4499


 Re: About at my wits end here.

Hi Mr.Bill...

I will certainly lift this matter in prayer.

Have you considered simply telling your daughter everything that you have told us? If you explain your situation and feelings in an open, honest and logical manner -- then she might be able to better understand the dilemma that she is causing in your life.

I know that this is not a "solution," but it has always helped that my parents were great at explaining "truth and consequences." I didn't always act according to what they told me, but I understood what their perspective was and the reason behind it. Eventually, it helped to shape me much more than I was willing to admit.

Regardless, I will be praying for you and your family. May the Lord grant you the wisdom for dealing with this issue!

:-)


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Christopher

 2006/12/11 17:43Profile
myfirstLove
Member



Joined: 2005/11/26
Posts: 496


 Re: About at my wits end here.

hi mr. bill,

thankyou for sharing your heart. i really understand the brokeness your going thru. families are more harder to handle.

please know that i am not saying that you should do the same, or that you are in the same position i was, but just sharing my testimony incase it helps any.

the Lord wanted me to draw back with my family because i was in the way in what the Spirit wanted to do. He wanted to break them, and i was always interfering by trying to bring comfort when they really need to be broken in order to learn to depend on God , and not me. when i finally obeyed God, and drew back some, it was tough, i went thru a lot of persecution. they got really mad at me and try to put all sorts of guilt trips on me, saying i'm not a christian because i didn't help them all the time. even though it was hard, i aslo felt peace at the same time knowing i obeyed God, and not man.

God, taught me a lot thru my family. i played a lot of favortism with them and because of that it cause me to give them their wants and not their needs. it also cause me to fret and have an unhealthy worry about their lives that i was always bothering them making sure that everything was o.k.. i really needed to learn to mind my own buisiness just like what the word says.

i was also accuse of not loving my family because i did not give into them all the time, they just don't understand the love of Christ and i knew that my love would be misunderstood, because the love of God is not like the world. doesn't it seem that His love does get misunderstood a lot of time, until later people realize that, yeah, that person really did love me more than others who just gave me my wants?

i know i love them more than anyone. to realize how much i had crippled them, causing them to look to me instead of Christ, broke my heart. i realize that was not true love, it was not trusting in God for their souls. the Lord showed me how i was trying to be the savior to my family and thats why i was at my wits end. you know when you are trying to be the savior when your relationship in the Lord is dry because you've been too worried about other people's lives.

i've learned you get into a lot of trouble getting into other peoples buisiness, and giving advice that you were not called to give. it also cause me to fear man above God.


my concern is her attitude towards you when you told her no. its not very Christ like to get upset, and then cancel the whole xmas family get together. she sounds a bit spoiled.


sometimes helping hinders in what God wants others to go thru. we could be in the way of the Holy Spirit work when we are always their getting them out of every trial, and always giving them their wants.


yes,i agree with others to seek God on this.

i will be praying for you and your family.

God bless,
lisa


_________________
Lisa

 2006/12/11 17:46Profile
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3229
Texas

 Re:

This is why God led me here to post this as hard as it was, you "all" have Blessed me so much with your hearts and also the testimonies here. I guess we all can so easily get caught up in the Love for our families we often forget God just may trying to be work here, this is what I have done, and God working here through you have confirmed this, this also confirms I myself am still work in progress, and that is a good thing to know God is still working in my life, not just good but an awesome feeling.
Thanks Bill


_________________
Mr. Bill

 2006/12/11 17:57Profile
murdog
Member



Joined: 2006/2/4
Posts: 352
Fort Frances, Ontario

 Re: About at my wits end here.

Mr. Bill,

Your daughter is emotionally blackmailing you by withholding herself and your grandchildren until you send the check. I say you call her bluff. She is probably convinced you will crack and send some money. And if you do you will pay the price at home with your wife.

This sounds like a complicated situation. It is not your responsiblity to provide "Christmas" to her and her kids. If you have to use the credit card to give her the money, then you shouldn't do it.

You know what the right thing to do is. But you don't want to do it, because you don't want to let your daughter down. She has to stand on her own two feet.

God Bless You!

Murray


_________________
Murray Beninger

 2006/12/11 20:18Profile
Santana
Member



Joined: 2006/8/17
Posts: 286


 Re: About at my wits end here.

I believe the right thing to do here is the hardest thing to do. DO NOT GIVE HER THE MONEY. She needs to depend on her heavenly Father more than her earthly father. You might be in the way sir.

I didn't FULLY depend on God until I was at the end of myself in life. It's not going to be easy brother. Pray without ceasing.

(PS - this is not scriptural but just my own opinion)


_________________
Leonardo Santana

 2006/12/11 20:59Profile





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