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Discussion Forum : Scriptures and Doctrine : Opposition From Everyone

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IWantAnguish
Member



Joined: 2006/6/15
Posts: 343
VCU @ Richmond, VA

 Re: Opposition From Everyone

One of my close friends has told me that she feels as if I'm looking everywhere, but salvation is on the tip of my nose.

I said that I feel like an unborn child, kicking and turning inside the womb, not yet born again.

I don't know if it isn't my time yet, or that I simply lack the revelation of God's Holiness which would bring me to my knees in true repentance.

I yearn for a pastor to preach to me a Spirit filled message that touches my stoney heart, and drives me to brokenness.

Currently I still sin, I sin everyday, much more than I want. But I lack 'Christ In Me,' so I know for a fact that I am not born again. I am not dead to the world, the world is not crucified to me, my Self is still my God, I've yet to lay my life down... and I've come to believe its much more than a conscience decision, because I've tried that, and it doesn't work.

Somebody break me free


_________________
Sam Yoon

 2006/6/15 12:36Profile
Logic
Member



Joined: 2005/7/17
Posts: 1791


 Re: Opposition From Everyone



IWantAnguish wrote:

Quote:
I am merely a condemned man, wishing to reveal other condemned men. I'm a zombie that knows he's a zombie, trying to tell other zombie's they're zombies.

Am I alone in this... or does anybody out there understand ?



I can not understand this, how could death bring life?
What fruit will there be in just showing the dead that they are dead with out the promise of life and the answer of how to recieve life?

How do you(a dead man) know about life?

Quote:
I am no Christian. I have been yearning for repentance


Can you exlpain this:

How is theire no repentance?
The very act of repentance is turning away from sin and toward God, and in faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.
[b]Act 20:21[/b] [color=990000]Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, [b]repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.[/b][/color]

In the Hebrew mind faith and faithfulness are the same thing. Faithfulness is loyalty and obedience.
Faith is toward GOD.
[b]Hebrews 11:1[/b] [color=990000]Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.[/color]
This verse tells us Who our hope is in,
[b]1Tim 1:1[/b] [color=990000]Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Savior, and [b]Lord Jesus Christ, [which is] our hope.[/b][/color]
Therefore our hope is not a wish but a certainty.
In other words, faith is substantial evidence of our hope, and a right response to God. This hope is not a wish but a knowledge in which we await.

Just obey and repent!
Quote:
but it seems as if God is avoiding me.


it only [b]seems[/b] as if God is avoiding you, but He is not, you are only avoiding faith to his word.

You need not to [b]feel[/b] anything but only know the fact that is in His Word. Then you will eventualy feel the life you so desparatly crave.

Quote:
I was curious as to whether anybody else has tried to proclaim our contemporary churches as spiritually dead?


What? You say,
Quote:
I am no Christian.....I'm a zombie that knows he's a zombie

How do you know the state of HIS church with out His Spirit?

Quote:
I told him not to take his youth kids to the mission field because his youth kids had no idea what it meant to be a Christian,



If your no Christian, then how do you know what is meant to be a real Christian?

If you are only being humble and saying that you are all this, would you please stop and stat the truth and not lie against the truth.

It is like Jesus saying that He is not the Christ by being humble.
You can be humble and still state facts about yourself.

aeryck wrote:
Quote:
Interesting. I think that most here would substitute the word 'zombie' with 'sinner' I do not believe you are alone. One thing is for sure every single one of us on this forum is a zombie, if we replace the word 'zombie' with 'sinner' - 'there is non righteous no not one, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.'



That would not be accurate eather because we are not sinners if we are born again, we are new creations in Christ.
[b]2Timothy 1:10[/b] [color=990000] But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, [b]who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel[/b]: [/color]

[b]1John 3:14[/b] [color=990000]We know that [b]we have passed from death unto life[/b], because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.[/color]

 2006/6/15 12:36Profile
IWantAnguish
Member



Joined: 2006/6/15
Posts: 343
VCU @ Richmond, VA

 Re:

I've attended church for 18 years, I am 19 years old. Recently I've stopped attending church because it is a waste of my time. My father was the pastor of the church that I had attended for 18 years. He cheated on my mother with some woman that he brought over from Korea, hence I come from a separated home. But anyway...

I've heard many sermons and studied much text on the topic of repentance, and true salvation. I am in between the status of a deaf, blind sinner, and a born again Christian.

I know that I lack the Holy Spirit, and that if I were to die at this moment, Hell would be my eternal place of torment.

I do not think that many people know what I am going through.

I have so much head knowledge ABOUT God, but I have no TRUE relational knowledge WITH Him.

I want to be able to repent.

I've tried, but I feel no remorse for my sins. My mind says its bad, but that's not good enough, I forced myself to THINK that way.

I have no conviction of the Spirit within my HEART. I can't control my heart. And my heart is still stoney, and yet to be renewed.


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Sam Yoon

 2006/6/15 12:44Profile
roadsign
Member



Joined: 2005/5/2
Posts: 3776


 Re:

Quote:
now that I lack the Holy Spirit, and that if I were to die at this moment, Hell would be my eternal place of torment.
I do not think that many people know what I am going through.
I have so much head knowledge ABOUT God, but I have no TRUE relational knowledge WITH Him.
I want to be able to repent.
I've tried, but I feel no remorse for my sins. My mind says its bad, but that's not good enough, I forced myself to THINK that way.
I have no conviction of the Spirit within my HEART. I can't control my heart. And my heart is still stoney, and yet to be renewed.



What I really like about you IWantAnguish, is your bold open honesty on this site. I see that you are truly desperate, and have no intention of playing the Christian game. You are also very aware of hypocrisy, and want no part in it. I am very troubled about your father’s past choices. That betrayal is a very serious assault against his family, the church, and above all God. Has he felt remorse for it? Does he know repentance and God’s forgiveness? Has he ever asked for your forgiveness?

As I was praying for you a verse popped into my mind, Forgive us our debts as we forgive others.”

So, now, I ask, who in your life do you need to let off the “hook”. Who are you angry at? Can you forgive all those who harmed you in the past, including your father, and the church in general? Are you prepared to walk into their lives with mercy, patience, and gentleness?

This is what is required in order for you to experience God’s forgiveness – his salvation, his mercy, and his love. It is a very costly gift. It is a path of death - but it is a path that leads to new life.

PS just a question: Why your nick name: I want Anguish?

Diane



_________________
Diane

 2006/6/15 13:05Profile
Warrior4Jah
Member



Joined: 2005/7/5
Posts: 382
The Netherlands

 Re:

Hey IWantAnguish!

I can read the desire in your post to follow Him and have a deeper relationship with Him
Frankly, if you were no Christian or dead then you would have zero desire for Him.

Do you believe that Christ is able to save you?
Do you live in sin, in constant rebellion to God without the ability to ask His forgiveness?

I too sometimes feel my inability to 'get holier' (ofcourse I can't make myself more holy) or at times I feel bad about things but there are no tears, no real anguish. It's a matter of growth. And to be honest I've posted posts a bit simulair like you in the past just to have my hearts cry shared.

It's too bad that an internet ministry can't just stand by someone and hug someone and pray together. I will think of you in my prayers as the Lord reminds me of you!


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Jonathan Veldhuis

 2006/6/15 13:16Profile
ccchhhrrriiisss
Member



Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4498


 Re:

Hi IWantAnguish...

I feel that the answer for your situation is quite simple. Just come before the Lord with your completely broken life. If you come to Him -- truly wanting to know Him -- He will not cast you to the side.

I was in your same situation (although I was a bit younger). I was raised in a Christian home, but I wasn't certain about the existence of God. I thought that I was too smart to believe in God. I also saw the hypocrisy of many supposed believers, as well as the lack of pure love (for both God and man) in those that I thought really believed. Over time, however, I went from being an athiest to an agnostic to an "unbelieving believer."

One night, I felt completely miserable inside myself. My heart was as dead, dry and unemotional as ever. But I reasoned in my heart that I wanted to truly know God. I walked out into a field (at a youth camp) -- far away from anything and everyone. I knew that I did not know God. Sure, I knew (or thought I knew) a lot of things about Him. But I did not know Him personally. In my dry (but completely honest) prayer, I told the Lord that I would trade all that I was and all that I was to ever become -- if I could only know Him and be His friend.

I was not "led in a sinner's prayer." But I immediately knew that something had happened. I knew that God was with me. My heart, my love, my life, my past, my present and my future were completely His.

This testimony is not just my own. There are many other believers that have felt as both you and I have. Charles Finney, one of the great revival preachers in American history, wrote of experiencing the same spiritual anguish before coming to Christ. He gave his heart to the Lord and became greatly used of the Lord. Let me encourage you to do the same. Simply come to the Lord in honesty -- knowing that He will accept your broken and contrite spirit (Psalm 51).

I will be praying for you throughout the day. Please keep us updated and informed. We love you immensely -- and we know that God loves and values you (enough to die in order to create an open relationship between you and Him). If you need anything, simply write in this thread, or write a PM.

Again, I am praying for you.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
Matthew 5:6-8
John 6:37
Matthew 11:28-30

:-)


_________________
Christopher

 2006/6/15 13:27Profile
IWantAnguish
Member



Joined: 2006/6/15
Posts: 343
VCU @ Richmond, VA

 Re:

I hold no grudges against anyone... They are dead just as I am, why would I scream at a blind person, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME ?!' It's pointless. They live for themselves and they have no idea how much they hurt others. All I do is forgive them and move on.

'I Want Anguish' is truly what I want. I want to feel the pain for my open rebellion against God. I want to know the heart of God, as to how I've hurt and insulted His deity. My trouble is that I don't have any anguish for my sins.

Yes, I believe in Christ's capacity to save any sinner, BUT, only after they've been broken and humbled. Christ does not save the proud. Christ does not save the unrepentant. The Law breaks the heart of the sinner, Grace heals the broken heart.

God is a God of Wrath until the sinner cries out MERCY, then God is the God of Love. We can not know the God of Love, UNTIL we feel the God of Wrath.


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Sam Yoon

 2006/6/15 13:29Profile
Tears_of_joy
Member



Joined: 2003/10/30
Posts: 1554


 Re:

Quote:
I've heard many sermons and studied much text on the topic of repentance, and true salvation. I am in between the status of a deaf, blind sinner, and a born again Christian.

I know that I lack the Holy Spirit, and that if I were to die at this moment, Hell would be my eternal place of torment.

I do not think that many people know what I am going through.

I have so much head knowledge ABOUT God, but I have no TRUE relational knowledge WITH Him.

I want to be able to repent.

I've tried, but I feel no remorse for my sins. My mind says its bad, but that's not good enough, I forced myself to THINK that way.

I have no conviction of the Spirit within my HEART. I can't control my heart. And my heart is still stoney, and yet to be renewed.



IWantAnguish, your words reminds me much of Charles Finney before his conversion.
I encourage you to read this from his autobiography, here is the link -
[url=http://www.gospeltruth.net/1868Memoirs/mem02.htm] Chapter II - Conversion to Christ[/url]

God bless you,
Kire

 2006/6/15 13:36Profile
IWantAnguish
Member



Joined: 2006/6/15
Posts: 343
VCU @ Richmond, VA

 Re:

Hmm... I've come to the conclusion that I've been trying to work my salvation through guides, or prepaved roads.

"What are you waiting for? Did you not promise to give your heart to God? And what are you trying to do? Are you endeavoring to work out a righteousness of your own?"

Which makes me realize that I'm still a sinner. I'm still without God. No matter my good intentions, they're still wrong.

I pray, God, break me. Give me a revelation of Your Holiness. Show me what kind of sinner I am.

But, no reply.

I still see God the same way. I still see myself the same way. Nothing has changed. I'm still unsaved...

God help me


_________________
Sam Yoon

 2006/6/15 15:13Profile
crsschk
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re: Praise God

Hi Sam,

Whatever my comments prior, all that you have brought forth by way of clarification ...
Your honesty is endearing, incredibaly. It is also revealing.

Quote:
I pray, God, break me. Give me a revelation of Your Holiness. Show me what kind of sinner I am.


Quote:
But, no reply.


Yet.

No need to mince any words here. Has it dawned on you just what it is you are experiencing?

Quote:
I do not think that many people know what I am going through.

I have so much head knowledge ABOUT God, but I have no TRUE relational knowledge WITH Him.

I want to be able to repent.

I've tried, but I feel no remorse for my sins. My mind says its bad, but that's not good enough, I forced myself to THINK that way.



Brother, that is the most honest statement I have heard in a great while. Praise God! You are right, it is not good enough and I applaud you for not giving sway to anything less than a true conviction in your heart, until you know the depth of the Spirit whereby we cry [i]Abba Father[/i]!

Sam, you are more saved than you know ... It just hasn't fully gripped you yet ... Ah, never in a day would I dare to pronounce anything that you do not know yourself in the deepest part of your marrow...

Sometimes 'suggestions' at time like this can be just worthless... Maybe the Lord is waitng for you to just cry uncle ... completely, to just give up .. even all this .... I don't know what the word is. Have been through some aspects of this, to a point of "Lord, You have to do it, I just can't anymore..."

The Lord knows brother, He may just be breaking you down until ...

All I know is He will not turn away an honest heart. My prayers are with you in earnest. Keep us posted, will be looking for answers to this situation.



_________________
Mike Balog

 2006/6/15 16:03Profile





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